I Bet You Can't Put Your Leg Behind Your Head

Sometimes I feel like I'm nothing but a collection of useless knowledge and worthless skills. I know all sorts of things that no one would ever have any need to know, and I can do things that no one would ever need to be able to do. Yet I don't even have the basic skills necessary to function in society. I have this knack for remembering random information, like the name of every character in every book, movie or TV show I've ever seen (and some I haven't seen). I remember that kind of shit forever but I forget stuff that happenes to me in real life. I also have all of these "skills" that do me absolutely no good. I keep thinking that, someday, I'll find some way to make use of them, but unfortunately I don't think that is ever going to happen because who the fuck is ever going to pay me for kicking people in the face.