Review of You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost)

Here is my review of Felicia Day's book!

This Is Why I Don't Have Friends

I went grocery shopping today and twice I realized, too late, that I should have tried to interact with people I encountered. I just do not have whatever it is that allows most people to talk to other people, especially people they don't know. I know, for a fact, that other people meet new people at random places and end up getting to know them. I don't know how to do that. I just don't.

Quick back-story, Kroger has an "in" door, and an "out" door. While both are clearly marked, the "in" door is easily wide enough for two people to pass comfortably, while the "out" door is just barely wide enough for one person. So when someone comes in the "out" door, whoever is trying to get out has to either push them out of the way or wait. Well, I'm trying to leave three people barge in through the "out" door. Naturally, I back up and wait politely for them to get out of the way, while mentally cussing them out. The last guy is taking for-fucking-ever! So, finally, I look up to see why he is walking so very ridiculously slow....and he's staring right at me, and smiling. Now, probably, I should have smiled back and maybe even said something to him. Instead I sort of nodded and ducked around him to get outside.

Honestly, I'm not terribly upset about not talking to the guy at Kroger because, whether he was flirting with me or not, he was being super annoying. This one I am upset about though. I was checking out at Target and the girl running the register says "Did you make your necklace?" I smiled in her general direction (without actually making eye-contact) and said "Yeah, I did." Then she said "I like it." I smiled again (still not really at her) and said "Thank you." Then there was the standard "Have a nice day." "You too." and I left. Afterward, it occurred to me that my necklace says "Vegan" on it. Probably most people wouldn't make a point to say that they liked a necklace that says vegan on it unless they are also vegan. I mean, maybe some people would but I feel like there is a good chance that I spoke to another vegan today and basically blew her off. What is my problem? Why can't I get this whole social interaction thing?

Also, again after I left, I realized that while I was shopping I noticed a copy of the Thug Kitchen cookbook displayed in a very prominent place. When I saw it I was really excited that 1- a vegan cookbook would be in a place like Target at all, and 2- That someone would put it right out in the open, where everyone walking by would be sure to see it. After the whole thing with the necklace I thought "You know what would be a good reason for a vegan cookbook to be displayed like that at Target? If there was a vegan working there, and she put it on that display!" Of course, there is always the possibility that I'm being stupid here, and she wasn't a vegan, and the book was just a coincidence, but I still just feel like I missed yet another opportunity to connect with a like-minded person. Fuck my truly pathetic social skills!

I'm still really happy they have this ^ at Target though.

A Perfect Summary of Cats

I am currently reading the third Sandman collection "Dream Country". It contains a story called "A Dream of a Thousand Cats". This particular story is pretty interesting for several reasons. First of all, it is told from the perspective of cats, which is kind of cool in and of itself. Second, there is a little bit of an animal rights theme because one of the cats is talking about wanting to rebel against humans because her "masters" killed her kittens for not being purebred. Third, she presents the idea that if enough people (in this case, cats) dream about the same thing at the same time, it becomes real. The Dream Lord, who appears to her as The Cat of Dreams tells her that cats once ruled the world, but the humans got together and decided to dream of a world in which they were the rulers. This changed reality and cats became small and submissive to the humans. She is going on a sort of pilgrimage around the world trying to convince all the cats to dream themselves back into a position of power. Supposedly, it would only take a thousand of them. The fourth thing that was so great about it was the line that I think pretty much sums up the very core of what cats are. A kitten asks one of the older cats if he believes that it will happen and the older cat replies "Little one, I would like to see anyone- prophet, king, or god -persuade a thousand cats to do anything at the same time." Yep, that sounds about right.

You Know What? I Don't Even Want to Know This Time

Okay, so you guys know about my whole thing with all the weird recurring themes in my life that seem like they should mean something but I can never figure out what? Well here's one for you. What exactly is the symbolic significance of creatures with mouths where their eyes should be? Yeah. You know I mentioned a while back that I was reading The Sandman? Well, I just finished the second volume, The Dollhouse, and in it there is a character called The Corinthian. He basically just looks like a regular guy except for the fact that he has mouths where his eyes should be. Kind of creepy, right? You know what's even creepier? The fact that the night after I first read about the Corinthian, my dad and I watched an episode of Angel involving this weird slug-looking demon. You know what I didn't notice about this particular demon the first time I watched this episode? That it happens to have mouths for eyes. Holy fucking shit, Powers That Be! What are you doing to me with this shit?

The Sandman

I've started reading Neil Gaiman's The Sandman series. It took me a while to get into it because I had heard good things about it, but didn't realize it was actually a comic series when I bought it. It took me a while to get used to the format, but now I'm really enjoying it. Anyway, a couple of interesting things. 1- the story is sort of split up into all of these small sections involving a bunch of different characters that everyone has heard of before. On Tuesday night, I got to a part about Cain and Abel. This was the same night as the Supernatural episode that dealt with the story Cain and Abel. I'm not sure what the Powers that Be were trying to tell me with that one, but I'm fairly certain I don't want to know. 2- There is this one part that I think really sums up an idea that I have been trying to explain to people for years. He says "Ask yourselves, all of you...What power would HELL have if those here imprisoned were NOT able to DREAM of HEAVEN?" Of course, he was actually being literal when he said it, but my point was that it's the idea of what our lives could be, or could have been, that makes what they are seem so shitty. If we all knew this is just what life is, this is how it always is and how it always will be, we could probably deal with it. It's thinking that it could be better if you knew how to make it better, or that you missed your opportunity to make it better, that ruins everything. This has been......Your Depressing Thought for the Day!

It really is a great story though. 

Snippets

I kept waiting around to see if I would come up with a good topic for a post today but, alas, I did not. So here are just a few random bits of things I have been thinking about. I may, one day, write full posts about them. However, I am far to uninspired to do it today.

1- I really need to make sure that I get the fuck out of this house everyday. Today the roads were supposedly bad, so I just stayed home. Now my biggest accomplishment for the day has been staying awake.

2- Do you ever get a new book and just feel like it is going to have something really profound to say to you? No real reason for it, just a feeling. I just started American Gods by Neil Gaiman and I definitely have that feeling about it. I hope I'm right; I could seriously use some profound insights right now.

3- My mom and I were talking today about raising your sense of self-worth by making a point to do things that you feel good about and not do things that you feel bad about. I think I have mentioned this before and I do believe that it is a good idea. However, I realized today that, while it will most likely raise your sense of self-worth, I'm not sure that it will improve your overall quality of life because you will end up doing a lot more things that you don't like doing. Like dishes, and laundry.

4- I have developed this intense aversion to noise lately. I think it was cause by overexposure. None of the animals in this house ever, EVER, shut the fuck up. Ever.

5- Is it just me, or do other people always run out of everything all at the same time? I actually managed to save my last check from Goodwill and I was all excited because I thought I would actually have money to buy halfway decent Christmas presents this year. Then I suddenly realized that I need to buy everything I ever use!

It seems like it's going to be a really good book. 

My New Favorite Book? Perhaps.

I just finished reading the Hyperbole and a Half book (thank you Rachel!) and it was just so fucking perfect. I highly recommend that everyone read it. If you don't want to invest in the book, at least read the blog. Allie Brosh manages to take all of the terrible things in life and make them hilarious. She is also brave enough to say all of those things that we all think and then hate ourselves for thinking. The sections on Depression and the ones on Identity are incredibly insightful, while still maintaining the irreverent, sarcastic, amazing humor that Hyperbole and a Half is so very good at. Basically, what I'm saying here is "Read it!"

The Power of Words

I haven't said much about it for a while, but I've still been reading up on Wicca. The more I find out about it, the more I like it. I like the polytheistic aspect of it. I love the emphasis on a connection to nature and the idea that we are able to interact with the planet's energies in a meaningful way. I think the thing that I like the most though, is the focus on the power of words. The whole idea behind a spell is that the right combination of words can actually create an energy force that can cause a desired outcome. When you think about it, isn't that the point of writing? To find the specific combination of words that  has the greatest effect? I just started reading The Deep Heart of Witchcraft (my third book on the subject) by David Salisbury, who happens to be a gay, vegan witch (YES!). When I found him it sort of dispelled any reservation I had about Wicca after reading The Witches' Way. The authors of The Witches' Way put a LOT of emphasis on the importance of the male/female polarity and the whole thing seemed rather discriminatory to me. They also talked about non-humans as having a lower form of soul with no individual consciousness (bullshit!). Anyway to get back on topic, there is a quote right in the very beginning of David's book which says "When we write something down, we're affirming the thought in our heads to the physical world, bringing it into being. In that sense, every act of writing is an act of magick and should be treated as such." Love it!

Business Cards

Last night, when I was making my top ten lists, I mentioned Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (the book, not the movie). There were many things in the book that I absolutely loved, plus Oskar was just a generally cool kid and a vegan! One of my favorite things in the whole book was the fact that he had business cards with general information about himself, along with his various talents. I have often thought, since reading the book, that I should make some of those cards and pass them out to people I find interesting. I think such a thing would be very helpful for those of us who have a hard time starting conversations with people. "Hey, you seem like a cool person. Here's everything you would ever need to know about me. If you like it, send me an email."

I think my cards would be something like this.

                                                               Whitney Metz

Vegan, Blogger, Armchair Activist, Occasional Actual Activist, Self-Proclaimed Badass, Pig/Dog/Cat guardian, Aspiring Witch, (Sort of) Poet, Metaphorical Doormat, Tattoo Enthusiast, Former Massage Therapist, Health/Fitness Nut, Designated Bug Catcher, Self-Control Freak, SciFi/Fantasy Nerd, Environmentalist, Logophile, Former Psychology/Sociology/Apparel Design/Chemistry Major, Misanthrope, Occasional Sesquipedalian, Would Be Demon Hunter/Ghost Hunter/Vampire Slayer, Introvert, Former Farm Sanctuary Volunteer, Semi-Masochist, Procrastinator, Yoga Lover, Misfit, Potential Future Writer, Goodwill Cashier, Compulsive Helper, Jewelry Maker, Pessimist, Steering Wheel Singer, Trash Mouth, Avid Reader, Former Construction Laborer, Germaphobe, Limit Pusher, Social Invalid, Over-thinker, Work in Progress.
Email; Whitneythedryad@vegemail.com

Perhaps someday I'll add to this list "Inventor of Socially Awkward Cards; The business cards for people who don't know how the fuck to interact with humans."

It's a Trap!

My dad and I had this interesting idea today. It probably won't ever come to anything, because we have a tendency to talk about doing things and never actually do them, but I think it would be a lot of fun if we did. The idea was to make some Youtube videos about escaping from various situations. This came about because we were channel surfing and came upon some movie where a guy gets caught in one of those traps where you step into a loop of rope and get hauled up into the air by your foot. Every movie that I have ever seen where someone gets caught in one of those, the person just hangs there and waits to pass out, or die, or be rescued. It seems to me that it would be possible to get out of one of those if you were able to use your core muscles to pull yourself up and get a hold of the rope, but no ever seems to do that. Of course the only way to know for sure is to try it, and that is why we came up with the whole video series idea. This one is obviously not the most practical one to start with, but we also talked about getting out of handcuffs, being tied to a chair, and I personally would really love to see if I could get out of a car trunk. This lack of motivation to escape things like this is something that has annoyed the shit out of me in a great many movies, TV shows, and books. I am constantly thinking "Why the fuck are you just sitting there? Why aren't you trying to get away?"

When I read this book was the first time I really remember thinking about this. For those who don't know the story; a couple is "playing a game" in which the wife is handcuffed to the bed when the husband suddenly dies of a heart attack and she is left with no way to get out of the handcuffs and ends up just laying there for several days (if I recall correctly). Here was my thought, how hard would it really be to just break the headboard? I guess there's only one way to find out......