Ⓥ Vegan Exceptions (Video)

I actually filmed this last week, but decided to go ahead and post it today (since I ran out of time to do a new one).

Wow, Thanks. I Feel Much Better Now!

Since I don't really know how to go about finding a good psychic, so I decided to just do my own tarot reading and film it for you guys. However, my camera has now started just shutting off for no apparent reason. So yeah, no video today. Anyway, it seemed at least semi-accurate but was not exactly encouraging. The way I do my spreads, the final card is supposed to be the outcome of the current situation. My last card was called "Challenge" #15 of the major arcana. I didn't like the book that came with my tarot cards, so I have been using a generic tarot book. When I looked up #15 in my book, it turns out that it's not normally called challenge (my cards were just trying to be nice), it's really called "The Devil" and it represents "negative thoughts" and being the "prisoner of poor choices". Awesome.  

Wrong Again

As a follow up to yesterday's post-

I really thought that giving up the one thing that I really wanted (my own space), would put a stop to the awful shit that has been happening in my life. I'm not even going to do into it right now, but suffice it to say I was wrong. I was very, very wrong. I honestly don't even know what to do. I know I joke all the time about being cursed, but I'm really starting to believe it. There is definitely something seriously wrong with my life, and it's something that I can't do anything about. You can't change things that you have no control over, and you can't prevent things that you can't see coming. I truly feel like there is some dark thing following me around, doing everything it possibly can to make me miserable.

I know this sounds completely stupid, but I really kind if want to find a psychic (or something), to tell me what the fuck this is. Am I actually cursed, or is there some fucking evil spirit stuck to me, or am I just a shitty human being, or what? Of course I know that most psychics are full of shit, but I do think that there are real ones out there too. Does anyone know how one would go about finding a Destiny Rumancek, or perhaps a Missouri Moseley? I'm really not kidding, I'm willing to try anything, at this point.

Ⓥ Compromises

I try my best never to compromise when it comes to my beliefs. I make a point never to do things that I will have to feel guilty for later. I am especially strict when it comes to matters of animal rights; I am probably one of the pickiest vegans in the world. I do everything in my power to avoid harming any living being, even the ones that many other vegans don't take into consideration (like various "pests").

Unfortunately for me, I live in a place where compromise on these issues is often necessary just to get by in society. I think one of the necessities of the animal rights cause is to attempt to spread the message that animals deserve better than the way our society treats them, to as many people as possible. However, it is simply not feasible for me to be open about my feelings about the treatment of nonhuman animals here. I have to deal with people on a daily basis who are involved in animal exploitation, in one way or another. At work, I end up talking to hunters, farmers, breeders, and even people involved in rodeos. I can't exactly tell these people what I think about the things they do. I'm pretty sure I would get fired, and it really doesn't seem like a good idea to get on the bad side of everyone who lives in my area.

As much as I hate the activities encouraged by this culture, I do still live here and therefore am required to deal with the locals, whether I like it or not. I feel like, in the long run, it's probably better to be "the vegan girl who gets along okay with everyone" than to be "the angry animal rights activist who antagonizes her neighbors". I still don't like it though. It's not that I actually believe I could change their minds if I did tell them how I feel, but it still feels like a betrayal of my beliefs to stay silent.

As if dealing with this in normal social situations isn't enough, I have to face it even more because of Riley and Tuni. There aren't exactly separate stores for people who want to buy feed for rescued farm animals, and if there were they certainly wouldn't be in West Virginia. This means that every time I have to buy pig food, I have to interact with other people who are buying food for farmed animals, and not one of them is doing it for the same reason I am.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, sometimes no matter how hard you try not to, you do have to make compromises, even when it comes to the things that matter most to you. I can only hope that someday this will not be the case, but for now I can see no way around it. I tell myself that, as long as I stay true to my beliefs, it doesn't matter whether I express those beliefs to the rest of the world or not. I'm not certain that I really believe that though.

Ⓥ Food Chain

This is something that I have been thinking about for years, and writing last week's post, about Cecil, sort of reminded me of it. In light of all of that happened with him, I hope no one takes this the wrong way. I have no scientific basis for this theory, it's simply a thought I had that has stuck with me over the years. I only mention it here because I often still find myself wondering about it.

Have you noticed that it seems that the majority of species that are threatened, or engangered, or that have increasingly low populations tend to be carnivores? Obviously they are not the only ones, but there seem to be very few carnivores who aren't, in some way, at risk. Now, obviously, a very large part of this is caused by humans. We see carnivores as threats, either to ourselves or to animals that we raise for food. Humans simply cannot stand the idea that they may not be the most dangerous species around, and therefore feel the need to kill any other species they perceive as competition.

However, I have often wondered if there is another reason why the carnivore populations seem to be declining so much. I think that perhaps nature is gradually moving away from the need for animals who depend upon the flesh of other animals for survival. When you think about it, it's really not a necessary thing for animals to kill one another at all. Nature has a way of keeping things in balance without this violence. Everyone thinks that (as it is often used to justify hunting) if no one kills the herbivorous animals they will become overpopulated and end up dying from starvation. This is true to some extent, but it would only take a few generations for them to adjust. Animals who are often prey for other animals, or humans, procreate in excess to compensate for the number of them that are killed. If they were no longer being killed, they would soon start producing fewer offspring.

Furthermore, the food chain becomes less and less stable closer to the top. At the bottom, where the herbivores are,there are lots of options. If something happens that one plant species is no longer available, there are about a thousand others to choose from (at least for most animals). Further up though, there are fewer options. If, for some reason, a carnivore is unable to attain the animal he normally depends upon for food, he is in a lot of trouble. The entire system would be much more sustainable if no animals had to depend on other animals for food. As much as our planet has been changing in recent years (albeit due almost entirely to humans, and our irresponsibilty) I'm afraid that it will soon become necessary for all beings to be more flexible with their diets.

I'm also starting to suspect that there may be some sort of transition happening in the mentality of some predator animals. I have seen quite a lot of stories in recent years about animals, usually (but not always) domesticated ones, befriending other animals who would normally be considered food for them. There have even been instances of carnivorous animals raising orphaned herbivores. I can tell you from experience that my cat (one of them, though not the other) has always shown almost no interest whatsoever in hunting. I have never known him to kill even so much as a bug, though he does enjoy watching them sometimes. And I have seen many other stories of other people's cats who seem to be equally nonviolent.

I just can't help but wonder if the dwindling number of carnivores in the wild, and the apparent trend of normally predatory animals losing interest in killing, might be nature's way of moving toward a more peaceful existence. Whether it is or not, the best thing that we can do is to stop interfering (by this I mean killing animals and destroying the environment) and allow nature to sort things out as it sees fit. The less damage we cause, the easier it will be for other species, and the planet as a whole, to make the best of all that we have already done to disrupt the system.

Ⓥ Cecil

I imagine, by now, you have all heard about what happened to Cecil. Just in case you haven't, the short version is that he was a lion who was a well-loved, and rather iconic, resident of the Hwange National Park in Zimbabwe. He was lured away from the safety of the park and then killed, in a brutal and torturous manner, by a hunter from America, simply because the man wanted him as a "trophy". Everyone from the general public, to animal activists, to celebrities have been outraged by what was done to Cecil, and for good reason. It was unforgivable. However, I feel like everyone who is up-in-arms over Cecil's death is overlooking a very important point that ought to be addressed; namely that, as horrible and heartbreaking as this tragedy was, far worse things are happening to millions of animals every day, and for just as absurd reasons.

Please don't misunderstand me; I am very upset about what happened to Cecil, I'm just not more upset about it than I am about what happens to all of the animals raised for food, clothing, and experimentation everyday, in our society. The hard truth here is that, as awful and painful as Cecil's death must have been, it is nothing compared to the way these other animals die, not to mention the way they live. At least Cecil got a chance to live his life the way he wanted before he died. This is a luxury that the vast majority of animals never get. They never know what it is to have freedom, all they know is pain, loneliness and death. In my opinion, that is the real tragedy, to die having never know any sort of happiness. Cecil was lucky in that aspect; he had his freedom, he had the life he was meant to have, he was loved, and he is missed. No one misses these other animals; they are not given names and therefore, in our minds, might as well never even have existed. They are not mourned, and their deaths are not protested, they are simply forgotten.

I am happy to see that there are so many people willing to stand up and condemn this hunter's actions. I'm ever happier to see how many people are referring to it as "murder." Because that it what it was. Killing for no reason is murder, there is no way around that. Sorry to burst your bubble, hunters, but you are not brave, or impressive, or strong, or whatever it is that you think you are. You are nothing but serial killers with better PR. You kill those who cannot defend themselves and then you take "trophies" to remind yourselves of your own brutality. There is no honor in that.

I only hope that all of this publicity about Cecil will lead people to think a little more about what they feel makes it so unforgivable to kill this one particular animal when so many others are killed everyday. I have seen a lot of people talking about various ways to honor Cecil, and I think that the best way that we could possibly honor him is to do everything we can to stop these sorts of tragedies from happening to any other animals, not matter how famous they are, or what species they are, or whether or not we have bothered to give them names. Because, like it or not, he wasn't so different from any other animal. He was a beautiful living creature, with thoughts, and feelings, and needs, and a soul (whatever that word may mean to you. To me it means the part of him that made him an individual), just like every single other living being.

Goodbye, Cecil. I am truly sorry for what was done to you, and for all of the atrocities committed by our species, against those we see as "lesser".

My New Favorite Mythical Being

My dad and I have been watching Beastmaster lately. We used to watch it back when I was a kid, and I liked it then, but I was pretty skeptical about whether or not I would like it now. I must admit, some of the acting is pretty bad, and most of the special effects are really bad, but the writing is good, the fight choreography is cool, and I really enjoy the overall theme of the show. It's very much about protecting animals and the planet, and living in harmony with nature. They have even (on multiple occasions) compared killing/enslaving animals with killing/enslaving humans, which I find pretty exciting.

Anyway, there is this one character, named Curupira, who is a demon responsible for protecting the forest and all the animals who live there. She basically loves animals and the forest and hates humans. She frequently kills people who come into the forest and kill the animals or disrupt the natural order. Here's the best part though; she's not a villain. She kills someone nearly every time she shows up, but everybody kind of just acts like "Well yeah, they shouldn't have fucked with her forest."

Well, after I saw her on the show, I had to look it up and she if there was a real legend about Curupira, or if the writers made her up. Turns out there is a real legend, though apparently the real Curupira is male, not female. Still, most of the basics of the story are the same and I love it!

You want to know the weird thing though? I took a short hiatus from reading Deadpool to read Neil Gaiman's Black Orchid, and guess who was mentioned? I don't know why that happens to me so often. I hear about some random thing I've never heard of before, and then it just keeps popping up all over the place.

Ⓥ Moral Absolutes

I have found that I seem to have a very different view of morality than most people. Many things that others find to be completely unethical, I don't really think are all that important. I seem to be much slower to judge people for "bad" things that they have done than other people are.

The truth is, I think that the world exists almost entirely in shades of gray. Everything we do, we do for our own reasons which other people will never truly be able to understand. So to judge the actions of another person objectively is nearly impossible; we can never know what led a person to make a particular decision, or what goal they had in mind when they did it. For that matter, judging our own actions objectively is nearly impossible; we never know what implications our actions might have on those around us, or whether we even made a certain decision for the reason we thought we did.

That being said, I do believe that there are a few (though only one that I am absolutely certain of) moral absolutes in this world. I do believe that a few things are truly wrong, no matter the circumstances. I have some ideas about what these things are but, as I said, there is only one that I know for sure. The one moral absolute that I believe in wholeheartedly is this- To cause the unnecessary death or suffering of an innocent being is always wrong. I do not feel that this is something that can be debated. I do not believe that there is any argument that can be made against that statement.

Are there times when killing can be justified? Yes. Are there times when torture can be justified? Perhaps. Are there times when killing the innocent can be justified? In rare situations, when it is crucial for the greater good, probably. Are there times when harming the innocent, when there is no need for it, can be justified. No. It's that simple.

So this is why I'm so deeply dedicated to veganism even though, in many cases, I may seem to have less concern for what is or is not ethical than the average person. I feel like our society, as a whole, spends far too much time judging, and punishing, and berating people for doing things that really aren't that bad. All the while, we completely overlook the truly unforgivable things that are happening everyday.  

I still don't actually believe in good and evil though.

Ⓥ The Great Divide

I feel like one of the greatest divisions in the vegan community is between those who believe in natural health and those who support modern medicine. At times it seems there is this, sort of, war between the two sides. The medical side seems to be especially critical of the natural side; often accusing them of being irrational, uneducated, or downright crazy. They seem to think that people who choose natural health over conventional medicine give us a bad name.

I will admit, there are those who I believe take natural health a bit too far, putting too much stock in things that don't make a lot of logical sense. However, for the most part, I tend to side with them anyway, and here's why. First and foremost, the entirety of the medical/pharmaceutical industries are dependent upon animal-testing. I, for one, will do anything and everything to avoid supporting such a horrible and unnecessary practice. It is true that there are some natural health companies that conduct animal-testing as well but there are also many that do not, and there are quite a few of these companies that are entirely vegan, or at least vegan friendly.

The other reason is (and you don't even have to be interested in animal rights to understand this one) modern medicine, and the pharmaceutical industry especially, thrive because of illness. If people don't get sick, they don't make any money. That has to make you wonder "Who's best interest are they really focusing on here?" You see, medications in general aren't meant to make you healthy, they are meant to make you feel just healthy enough to keep coming back for more. They don't want to prevent illness, they don't even want to cure it, they just want to treat the symptoms so that you have no choice but to spend absurd amounts of money to keep buying more and more of their product.

If the drug companies were actually trying to help people, there wouldn't be commercials for their products on TV to convince people that they need to be medicated for things that are often just normal parts of being alive. If doctors were actually trying to help people, they wouldn't be pushing these products on everyone who comes into their offices. The companies that make these drugs and the doctors who prescribe them are both working to keep us all just sick enough to think we need the medications and just healthy enough to believe they're working.

Obviously, the people who sell natural health products are also trying to make money, but there are a few distinct differences. First of all, there is not nearly as much money involved. I don't know about you but, from my experience, the more money is on the line the more immoral people tend to become. Second, most natural health products are designed to actually prevent or cure health problems, not just lessen the symptoms. Even the ones that are used to simply treat symptoms are usually, at least, intended to also make the symptoms less severe over time, whereas medication often requires progressively higher doses to keep the symptoms under control.

So yes, maybe some of the proponents of natural health are a little out there, and some of them believe in things that don't necessarily make sense. I believe their intentions are good though. Besides, what harm can it really do to believe in things that may or may not work? Even ineffective herbs and vitamins are probably not going to due any real harm. So, personally, I'll trust the people who I think are actually out to help me to stay healthy not just help themselves to stay rich.

So what if some of us are a little crazy? 

Good News

On Saturday, my sister and I went to the Pittsburgh Vegan Festival. It was pretty cool, there were tons of people there (although it's hard to say how many of them were actually vegan, that's still encouraging), and a lot of really great local(ish) vegan vendors! Apparently they're doing another one in the fall, and I think this time I'll try to actually get there early enough to hear some of the speakers and everything. Anyway, there was someone there doing tarot readings, and I just couldn't help myself. 

I know a lot of people think this kind of stuff is complete crap, and maybe it is, but here's how I look at it. When it comes to anything that's outside of or beyond our physical world, I believe that anything is possible but nothing is for sure. Because I wanted to get the most accurate impression of her abilities (or lack thereof) I tried my best not to react to anything she said. I know that is one way that fake psychics con people; they say something vague and then, when you agree, they get more specific. My sister pointed out afterward that this woman actually started out specific, and very accurate, and then sort of backpedaled when I didn't say anything. I mean, it still wasn't anything remarkable but, that said, I thought it was a pretty good reading, and my sister agreed.

The reader started off by telling me that I was very stable, but that my life had potential for much better things. At this point I was kind of like "riiiiight, totally" but as she went on it got more accurate. I have to assume that the stable part was about my behavior, and not my actual mental state. I really am quite good at pretending to have my shit together and behaving as if I do. Even when I'm completely losing it, I still manage to get shit done. Someone I worked with years ago once told me I was "very zen", at the time I just did my best not to laugh. 

Anyway, she then went on to say that I've been wanting to make changes in my life; changing jobs, moving, changes in relationships, etc. She said that I had reached a plateau and that things were going to change dramatically, specifically that "I wouldn't be surprised if I saw you two years from now and your life was completely different". 

She then said that I'd had a lot of struggles in my life and that they had been strengthening my soul for something better. This was one of the times when she sort of tried to back up, when I didn't react. I didn't acknowledge the fact that I was struggling and she looked sort of flustered and said "Or the goods things in your life. It's all been to change you for the better." 

She smiled at me and said that I always do everything in my life with love and compassion and that was why better things were going to come to me. Again I didn't react. I wasn't going to tell her that all I want in my life is to make the world a better place, or that I desperately need to give my life meaning. She kind of shrugged and said "Maybe just with your vegan lifestyle." 

When she turned over the last card, which represents the overall outcome, she got this big smile on her face and said "Oooh, I love it when it's a good card!" It was The Universe (she wasn't using a standard tarot deck, by the way) and she said that this also meant changes for the better. She looked sort of sympathetic though and said "This one means that it will take a while." and explained that changes this big never happen quickly. She finished by saying "Someday, you will have the world the way you want it."  

Honestly, I thought that the way she phrased that last statement was the most impressive part of the reading. I feel like most people would probably want to hear that their own lives would be the way they want them, but she didn't say "life" she said "world." It made it seem as if she knew that I would never be satisfied with just having a good life for myself, as long as the world in general is still so shitty. 

I guess I just thought it was interesting that the whole reading focused entirely on the three things that seem to be the themes of my life; a constant struggle to change things, a commitment to trying to do the right thing, and a desperate need to have a positive impact on the world. I know this still could have applied to lots of different people, especially at a vegan festival, and also that it's a little too good to be true. But hey at least it gives me something to keep me going for a while. After all, that's why people go to psychics anyway, right? 

Plus, I went to a psychic once before, years ago, and she was blatantly full of shit.

Who Would've Thought?

Yesterday, my dad, my sister, my sister's boyfriend and I went back to the Palace of Gold (the place we went for the Festival of Colors) and took a tour of the palace. It was even more amazing on the inside than it was on the outside. Here's the really cool part though; I just assumed there were places like this all over the country. There aren't. This is the only one in the U.S. and, apparently, the first one ever. Srila Prabhupada, the guy who started the International Society for Krishna Consciousness (the Hare Krishnas) is the one who actually founded this place. It was originally intended to just be a community for his devotees, but they wanted to build a special place for him to stay when he came to visit them. So they TAUGHT THEMSELVES how to do everything and built the whole fucking place by themselves. I find that completely amazing! They did all the marble (which is everywhere), stained-glass (some of the most beautiful I've ever seen), gold-leaf (also, everywhere), painting (including hand-painted ceilings, with intricate floral designs), and tapestries (unbelievably intricate). Here's the shitty part, he died before he ever got to stay there. So they just kept adding to the place and made it into this huge memorial for him. They added statues of him, and some objects that belonged to him. There is also a plaque of his footprints which is the original that every similar plaque in every other Prabhupada memorial all over the world is made from.

How does this place exist in WV? Furthermore, since it does, how did I not know about it? 

The Power of Words

I haven't said much about it for a while, but I've still been reading up on Wicca. The more I find out about it, the more I like it. I like the polytheistic aspect of it. I love the emphasis on a connection to nature and the idea that we are able to interact with the planet's energies in a meaningful way. I think the thing that I like the most though, is the focus on the power of words. The whole idea behind a spell is that the right combination of words can actually create an energy force that can cause a desired outcome. When you think about it, isn't that the point of writing? To find the specific combination of words that  has the greatest effect? I just started reading The Deep Heart of Witchcraft (my third book on the subject) by David Salisbury, who happens to be a gay, vegan witch (YES!). When I found him it sort of dispelled any reservation I had about Wicca after reading The Witches' Way. The authors of The Witches' Way put a LOT of emphasis on the importance of the male/female polarity and the whole thing seemed rather discriminatory to me. They also talked about non-humans as having a lower form of soul with no individual consciousness (bullshit!). Anyway to get back on topic, there is a quote right in the very beginning of David's book which says "When we write something down, we're affirming the thought in our heads to the physical world, bringing it into being. In that sense, every act of writing is an act of magick and should be treated as such." Love it!

Epitaph

For the sake of the planet and all of the beings who inhabit her, I really hope that humans get their shit together soon. I feel like there is a good chance that we're on a direct path for our own destruction and if we don't make some changes soon, we are going to ruin everything for everyone. For my own sake though, I sometimes hope that they just go ahead and burn it all down. The things is I just don't feel, and never really have felt, that I was built for this world. I sometimes think that I might thrive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. I sometimes think that a good struggle for survival might be just what I need.

Mayhap there is a weird depressing poem in here somewhere? 

Also, the title/image are Dollhouse reference, just so you know. 

Festival of Colors

Yesterday, a group of us went to the Festival of Colors. It was held at the Palace of Gold  in Moundsville WV. First of all, may I just say that I am completely amazed that this place exists in WV. It was absolutely beautiful! The buildings were incredibly intricate and detailed. There were these amazing statues everywhere. They had a huge rose garden with varieties of roses I have never seen before. And there was a gorgeous pond full of lily pads and huge lotus blossoms. Then there was the event itself. It was the most fun I have had in a very long time. I had seen pictures of it online many times and always thought "I want to do that someday." but as far as I knew they only did it in India, and I knew I was most likely never going to make it to India. Then I found out they were having it in fucking Moundsville WV! I was more than a little shocked. Everything about it was beautiful. A whole crowd of people covered from head to toe in every color of the rainbow, and then some. Every hour they had a group color toss, during which everyone threw handfuls of color into the air at the same time and created this enormous cloud of swirling dust. Plus the colors were scented with some sort of incense, or something, that had this pleasant lightly rosy smell. The whole thing was fucking fantastic and I'm definitely going back next year!

Caty posted some truly great pictures on Facebook. Check them out! 

Slut-Shame

I have noticed a lot of talk lately, within my social (media) circle, of "slut-shaming". There seems to be a pretty large movement, as of late, to put an end to this practice in an attempt to free our society of it's double-standard when it comes to sexual activity. I agree with this movement to some extent. However, I happen to believe that there is more to it than most people seem to acknowledge. Personally, I feel that which, and how many, people a person chooses to have sex with is entirely that person's business and in no way reflects on any other aspects of his or her character. For example, let's say I met this really cool, interesting, kind-hearted, intelligent woman with lots of interest and causes that she cared about. I truly wouldn't care the tiniest bit if I found out that she likes to fuck five different guy a night, because that's not who she is. On the other hand, someone who has no interests, no real personality, and nothing else to identify her by, who sleeps with a lot of guys ends up being defined by that one trait. So yeah, I believe that is something to be ashamed of, especially if you go along willingly. Basically my idea about slut-shaming is this; there is nothing shameful about being a "slut" the shameful thing is being a slut and nothing more.

Regardless of her job, I think she would have been a cool person to hang out with. Now Kiki, on the other hand.......

P.S. I think my Dollhouse references make even less sense to the average person than my other TV references.

Aranyani

So, I'm almost finished with the Witches' Way. When I actually finish it I will talk a bit more about what I did and did not like about it; although, overall, the belief system fits very well with my own beliefs. One thing that I thought was pretty cool was that, while they embrace the idea of many gods and goddesses, there is no particular set that they adhere to. The authors recommend that each person (or coven) choose their own deities from any number of religions based on which ones resonate with them personally. So today I searched online, for a lot longer than I should have, and I think I finally found my patron goddess. According to Wikipedia; "Aranyani is a goddess of the forests and the animals that dwell within them......she is described as being elusive, fond of quiet glades in the jungle and fearless of remote places." Apparently she is a protector of animals and the forests who has little to no interest in interacting with humans. She is perfect!

Here is a hymn about her from the Rig Veda:

Goddess of wild and forest who seemest to vanish from the sight.

How is it that thou seekest not the village? Art thou not afraid?
 What time the grasshopper replies and swells the shrill cicala's voice,
Seeming to sound with tinkling bells, the Lady of the Wood exults.
 And, yonder, cattle seem to graze, what seems a dwelling-place appears:
Or else at eve the Lady of the Forest seems to free the wains.
 Here one is calling to his cow, another there hath felled a tree:
At eve the dweller in the wood fancies that somebody hath screamed.
 The Goddess never slays, unless some murderous enemy approach.
Man eats of savoury fruit and then takes, even as he wills, his rest.
Now have I praised the Forest Queen, sweet-scented, redolent of balm,
The Mother of all sylvan things, who tills not but hath stores of food.

Never Fails to Disappoint

I have a serious tendency to get overly attached to my favorite artists; musicians, actors, writers, painters, whatever. I feel this connection to people who make things that resonate with me. I feel like I can't truly appreciate someone's art unless I can appreciate them as a person as well. Because animal rights is the most important issue to me, and is such a huge part of my life, I am constantly hoping to find that my favorite artists share my beliefs. I have this compulsive need to, whenever I find a new artist I like, search for evidence that they support animal rights. I will frequently spend huge amounts of time (sometimes hours) searching the internet for anything stating that some artist I like is vegetarian or vegan. This almost invariably results in extreme disappointment.

Here is one of my few successes, The Giving Tree Band. An all vegan band that makes really cool, weird , folky music that I love!

Living in a World Where No One Knows What's Important in Life, Priceless

I find that all of the things I value most are things that no one else seems to appreciate at all. The traits I work so hard to cultivate in myself are ones that seem worthless to other people. When I think about all of the things that are most sought after in our current society, it makes me feel 1-entirely alone, and 2- utterly hopeless as to the future of our world.

I value compassion for all beings in a world where most people barely show compassion to other humans.
I value strength, of body and mind, in a time when weakness is not only accepted but expected of us.
I value self-control in a society where excess and hedonism are rewarded
I value simplicity in in a country where success is measured in possessions.
I value hard work in an economy that's based around sitting at a desk.
I value courage in a culture that teaches us to be afraid of everything.

Fuck it. I'll just become a hermit.

The Gray Areas Are Mine

As surprising as this may be to some, I think I have a lot more moral flexibility than most people. I tend to be able to understand and accept things that other people consider to be completely awful. I see about ninety-nine percent of the world as a giant gray area. As far as I'm concerned one of the only, if not the only, moral rule that is truly set in stone is "Don't cause the death or suffering of the innocent." Everything else can be forgiven, if not justified. That's why animal rights and veganism are so important to me. In my opinion, they are the only true moral imperatives. You could break into my house, steal everything I own, and shoot me in the foot, but if I found out you were vegan I would still think you were a good person. In all honesty, you would have an easier time convincing me that you were morally justified in killing another human than in eating a hamburger. Because from what I've seen very few, if any, humans are truly innocent while animals, almost invariably, are. It's kind of funny that the one rule I'm really steadfast on is the one that almost no one agrees with.

By the way, the title is a line form the Bright Eyes song "Middleman."

I've Got a "Secret" for You

Yesterday my mom and I were talking about positive thinking, again. She really thinks that if you focus enough on what you want to happen and truly believe that it will happen, then it will. She keeps telling me that the reason nothing good ever happens to me is because I don't believe it will. Here's the problem with that; I live in a fucking fantasy world. I spend an inordinate amount of time imagining what my life could be. I think of something that I wish would happen and then picture what life would be like if it did happen. This is not something I do on purpose, it's sort of automatic. Sometimes I think about these things so intently, and picture them so clearly, that I honestly have trouble remembering whether they actually happened or not. So yeah, if positive thinking worked I'm pretty sure my life would be very different.