Epilator! (Video)

Fuck you, Epilator! 

Postponed

Today is supposed to be my animal rightsy post day. I do have one that I've been working on, but it's not ready yet. So I'm going to put it off until tomorrow or the next day, so I can take the time to make it a little better. Anyway, since I'm not doing my animal rights posts today, I thought I would take this time to ask you guys a question.

When I get moved into my camper, I'm thinking of setting up a space to do videos. I'm wondering if you guys would rather see more video blogs and less written blogs? I know there are a lot of people who would rather watch videos than read posts, and I'm wondering if I should start leaning more toward a video blog? What do you think?

Lazy-ish

I know I've talked about this before, but I don't have anything better to talk about, so I'll just reiterate. I'm so lazy, in the most ridiculous ways! I will put absurd amounts of effort into certain things, but other things (that require far less effort) get completely ignored. It seems like I'm really good at making myself do things as long as I do them everyday, but things that only need to be done occasionally get put off for-fucking-ever. I literally have to make myself do things every day, even if they don't need to be done every day, just to make sure they get done at all. For example, my nails haven't been painted for like two weeks now, simply because I haven't bothered with them. I hate the way my hands look without polish, but not enough to actually paint them. It's not even so much the painting that bugs me, as the waiting for them to dry. It's just so fucking inconvenient! I need to be able to use my hands! I don't have the patience to wait around for my damn nails to dry.

At this point, I'm actually starting to get used to the no polish look.

Lazy

I'm sure you guys know by now that I have a pretty rigid schedule that I follow every day. You want to know something stupid though? Even if I manage to get all of my stuff done, if I put it ff too long I still feel like a lazy ass. Today I didn't workout until almost 3:00 and I felt almost as bad as if I didn't do it at all. I even had a (kind of) good excuse, I was cleaning the kitchen this morning and it took a long time, then it was time to feed the pigs, and when I got back from feeding them I was starving. Still, by the time I actually made myself do my workout, I really didn't feel like it anymore and I think I did everything kind of half-assed. So yeah, from now on I really need to get my ass in gear and get shit done on time.

I also didn't actually leave the house today, which also makes me feel like a lazy ass. Even though I didn't have anywhere I needed to go, I still just feel like I accomplished more if I go somewhere...anywhere.

I was even too lazy to find a good image today. So I just typed in "lazy" to Google images and picked the first one that I liked at all.

The Wrong Line of Work

I spent a couple of hours putting up hay, earlier today. It was really fucking hot, and I got really fucking sweaty, and I also got cover head-to-toe with little hay particles, and sort of sunburned. None-the-less, I really don't mind doing that sort of work. I always feel better about myself, and the work I've done when it's 1-something physical, and 2-something with measurable results. I really wish that almost all physical labor type jobs didn't require you to be there ridiculously early. I feel like, if I have to have a job that isn't actually something I want to do, that would be the next best thing. I just can't justify looking for a job that would require me to get up any earlier than I already do (which has been somewhere around 5:00, most days, recently). And skipping my workout (or most of the other things I do in the mornings, for that matter) is out of the question.

I don't share Dean's attitude about this sort of thing. 

Does It Still Count?

It's after midnight so I suppose I officially skipped a day's post. The reason is that our internet is still being exceptionally shitty. It's all slow, and sporadic, and generally infuriating. This wouldn't be so bad if I had anything else to do with my time, but I really just don't. I mean, I guess I kind of do, but I need the internet to get me in a good enough mood to do those other things without putting my fist through the wall or something. Also, I ordered the next Sandman book forever ago and it's still not here! No internet and no book, grrrrrrrarrrghhhhh!

Now There's an Idea!

I just suddenly remembered that I totally forgot to write a post for today. It's not like I have anything exciting to talk about anyway, but I thought I should get something down here. So here's this. I've been on a serious superhero kick lately. I recently realized that I am just a natural born multitasker and that I have a hard time doing just one thing at a time, especially things that are time consuming and/or difficult. My mind gets bored or frustrated and I just end up giving up on whatever it was that I was trying to do. Well since, lately, I have been trying to teach myself how to do all of these new things, sculpting, drawing, making utility-belts, etc, I've been watching movies to keep my mind occupied whilst I struggle endlessly with the things I'm trying to make. For whatever reason I have been mostly interested in watching superhero movies. I already had some and I bought quite a few more from various discount movie bins. So far it has been working pretty well. I don't even notice that it takes me for-fucking-ever to make really small, unimportant, things. An unfortunate side-effect is that I keep finding myself thinking "Hey, you know what would be a lot more fun than making misshapen mugs? Being a fucking superhero!"

Today I watched Daredevil. I found it fairly enjoyable. Plus, I'm thinking that if you can get superpowers just by going blind.........that one seems kind of feasible for me. Just saying. 

Stranded Again

Once again, we are having truly awful weather here. It's snowing A LOT, and really fucking cold. This means that I'm basically confined to the house for the entirety of the day, and who knows how many more days after this. Here's the funny part though, it's kind of okay with me. I have realized that, if I actually had my own space, I would probably be better off just hiding in the house all day. When I know that I don't have anywhere to go, I come up with all of these things that I want to do. Most of them are a complete and utter waste of time but, every once in a while, I actually manage to do something half-way worthwhile. I come up with all of these different art projects I want to try and all of these different writing ideas. I feel like, if I had unlimited time, I might actually be able to do something with some of this shit someday. As it is, I mostly just think of things I want to do and then never do them.The biggest issue is trying to get in as many of the things I think about doing as I can before my motivation starts to wane, which always happens much sooner than I expect it to. Also, it seems like the majority of my stress and anger comes from time constraints. I'm late for everything all the time and it never ceases to piss me off. It's pretty hard to be late for hanging around your own house though.

P.S. Don't forget to watch the new Supernatural tonight to combat the "boycott" :)

Isn't It Ironic

I have found that, in order to ever get anything accomplished, I have to have a time limit. I need to have something that I have to do every day so that I will know that I need to get everything done by a certain time. If I have an unlimited amount of time to do things, I always think "Oh, I'll do it later." but later never comes and nothing gets accomplished. At the same time, I feel like if I always have something that I have to do, I never get enough time to do all of the things I want to do. When I have all the time in the world, I never seem to get motivated. But when I need to leave the house in five minutes, I'm like "I want to do this! and that! and all those other things!" So, basically I only want to do things when I don't have time to do them. How very fucking convenient.

Fucking Awesome

Last night, I stayed at my mom's house to watch the new Supernatural (which was fantastic as always, by the way) so I didn't get back to feed Riley and Tuni until after ten. Then, when I went to put the water buckets in the car, my entire car was covered in this layer of extremely fine frost. It was so thin that I couldn't even get it to scrape off. Well, I wasn't about to wait around for my car to warm up enough to melt it. So I just said "Fuck it!", and decided to drive it anyway. I mean the barn is like ten feet from the house. So I'm peeking through this tiny clear spot on the windshield, trying to make sure no cars are coming as I pull out. Unfortunately, I forgot how close I had parked to the fence and I drug the side of my car against the fence-post. Luckily, it was my shitty, rusted up car and not my mom's car. That doesn't really help the fence-post though.

At least I got to see the new Supernatural, right? 

Inspiration

For the love of fuck! I have got to find something interesting to do with my time! I keep putting off writing my posts because I keep thinking that an interesting topic will come to me. Then I realize that no interesting topics are coming to me because I don't ever do anything interesting. I mean seriously, what do people do for fun? It doesn't even have to be THAT fun, just kind of fun will do. Just as long as it gives me something to talk about besides TV shows.

Thinking

I feel like I spend the majority of my time trying desperately not to think too much about my life, or life in general. I distract myself with music, TV, Pinterest, etc. I think that's also part of the reason I feel better about things if I sleep less; I don't have the mental energy to think everything to death. It's not even thinking about the state of my life right now that bothers me so much, it's the unlikeliness of it ever changing as much as I want it to. So every once in a while, I'm scrolling through Pinterest, ignoring reality to the best of my ability, and I see something that reminds me of all the things I want in my life that I am probably never going to have. When this happens, I always feel vaguely betrayed like "Damn you Pinterest! You're supposed to be helping me forget about shit like this!" So yeah, Pinterest and I are not on the best terms right now. That's not to say that I won't still scroll through it for hours on end, but I will do so with a slight air of disdain.

14 for 2014

The following is my lists of goals for the next year. Let's start with all the things I didn't manage to get around to this past year, shall we?

1- Do some real activism. Also, write more animal right related posts here.

2- Find a way to make enough money to get by without wishing I were dead.

3- I am going to rephrase the "social skills" one a bit and say that I want to start doing more social activities., and  find, at least, one that I actually enjoy.

4- I still really want to take a martial arts class.

5- I damn well better be able to do a fucking pull up by next year!

6- I AM going to go back to Farm Sanctuary this year, and hopefully back to the Festival of Colors as well.

7- Learn to act like one of those confident girls. Who know, stand up for myself, stand up for my beliefs, talk to people.

8- Learn to make metal jewelry, and hopefully actually sell some.

9- Write more poetry, and hopefully perform it somewhere.

10- Buy a car. A cool one would be nice but, at this point, I would settle for a piece of shit one.

11- Write something more substantial than a blog post. Get another article published? Write for the Flaming Vegan? Work on the "book" I started writing forever ago? Something.

12- I don't know, maybe go on a fucking date or something. Have some sort of romantic type interaction with another human being.

13- Get myself on a real schedule so that maybe I can accomplish half of the things I set out to do, in a given day. Especially get my sleep schedule down, so that I don't start out the day with several less hours than I had planned on.

14- Keep up with my goddamn email! Fucking hell I have so many emails!

In case you didn't notice, I decided to be a bit more vague with some of them this year so that, hopefully, I won't be quite as disappointed with myself next year. 

Time for Plan D

I sincerely believe that my life would be significantly better if I just had the time to do all of the things that I want/need to do. The problem is, my list of things that I want/need to do is eternally growing and so is my desire to just sleep through my life. I keep trying to make myself get up early enough to get everything done, without having to rush around in a frenzy and make myself even more of a lunatic than I already am. The problem is, not matter what I do, I just can't seem to make myself get up any earlier than I absolutely have to. I either A- sleep through my multiple alarms altogether, or B-wake up and think "Eh, I don't really have to get up just yet." Either way, it eventually leads to me waking up, looking at my clock, yelling "FUCK!", jumping out of bed, and being in a pissy mood for the rest of the day while accomplishing a fraction of the things I had hoped to accomplish.

So my new plan is this. Every night before I go to bed, I am going to start making a list of all the things I want/need to do the following day (you all know how much I like lists). I am also going to make notes of why these things are important and how my life will be improved if I actually get them done. Then I will go to sleep with these things fresh in my mind, in the hopes that I will wake up in the morning and still remember them. In case you can't tell, I'm getting kind of desperate here.

You Really Don't Have to Read This One.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. I need to write something. Blah, blah. It's five in the morning and I have to get ready for work. Blah, blah, blah. I should have gone to get my check on Friday because now I want to order silly things online and can't because I don't have enough money. Blah, blah. My brain doesn't work this early in the morning. Blah. This morning I set my clock for 4:00 and woke up at 3:59. Kind of weird. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, this post was a waste of all of our time. Sorry.

What More Can a Girl Ask for?

As I've said about a million times (sorry about that, by the way.) what I really want out of a job is purpose. I want to be able to say that my job means something. However, considering the fact that it may be entirely delusional to think that I could find such a job, I've given a lot of thought to what kinds if things I'm looking for in a regular, just for the money, job. I've come up with;
1-I want something physical to do. I can't handle just sitting around all day.
2-I want to be able to take time off if I want it.
3- I want to be able to work evenings so that I don't have to get up at 3am just to get ready.
4- I don't want to have to have a separate wardrobe to wear to work.
5- I want to stay busy.
6- I want to have enough free-time to do the things I actually care about.
7- I want to do something I'm good at.
8- I want to be able to feel, at least, okay about what I do.
9- I don't want to have to deal with animal products.
10- I want to be able to make enough money to get by.

Then I realize that, except for that last one. I pretty much have all of that at Goodwill. And then I think ......

Excuses Excuses

Sorry I'm late everyone. You see, I got stuck at work until almost ten (we close at 9). Therefore, I was really fucking tired and my brain was just not working. Plus, I had to get up early today because we have to go pick up some hay for Riley and Tuni, then I have to come back and wash all the hay off me so I can go grocery shopping. Anyway, the point is this; there was no blog last night because I simply did not have time to sit around and wait for my quickly deteriorating brain to present me with a decent post. Anyway, I got stuck at work because the guy that works in the back had a shit-ton of donations to deal with and couldn't get all of it carried inside by himself. So basically I stayed at work and carried heavy shit for an hour. As I'm sure you all know, I don't mind physical labor. However, I do mind having to stay late at work. Here's how pathetic I am though.....are you ready? As we were leaving, the manager said something to the effect of "I shouldn't have kept you so late, but I knew we needed you." To which I replied "Oh, that's no problem." but in my mind I'm going "They needed me!" Then I didn't even mind that I had to stay late. I am depressing.

Fuck It! I'm Buying a TARDIS!

Today I was running late for class. There were several reasons for this; 1- I'm always running late for class. 2- I decided to get up a little later than I usually do. 3- I slept an extra twenty minutes past my new, later, time. 4- I wanted to run before I left for class and didn't leave myself as much time as I thought I needed. 5- As it turns out, I actually needed more time than I thought I needed because apparently I simply cannot physically run as fast that early in the morning. Anyway, I was already behind by about ten minutes but I thought, quite incorrectly, that I might be able to make up a couple of minutes on the drive. Instead, on my way to class I encountered; 1- a huge tanker truck, just sitting in an intersection for no apparent reason, 2- a wreck which somehow seemed to have involved five separate vehicles, and 3- an SUV which insisted upon driving between five and ten mile per hour below the speed limit, no matter what the speed limit was. Ultimately, this resulted in my being fifteen minutes late for the class taught by the professor who promised to fail us if we were late enough times. Awesome.

Tiiiiiiiiiiime Is on My Side. Oh Wait, No It's Not.

I just had an entire week off from school. I had all these grand plans about all of the things I was going to do. I thought "I have plenty of time. I'll get so much accomplished this week!" So what did I do, you ask. I waited until the past two days to do anything, and managed to accomplish the bare minimum of things that I had to do before tomorrow. I thought I would get ahead a little on my schoolwork , nope! I thought I would make that necklace I mentioned before, nope! I thought I would get the house all nice and clean, nope! I did at least manage to clean the carpets. I also dyed my hair last night. My god what a productive week off!

Speaking of time, I think I may start posting new blogs in the evenings instead of in the mornings, at least for a while. See how that goes.