Stop Me If This Stupid

You know how I was talking the other day about how there is now a tattoo place in Pittsburgh that does vegan tattoos? Well, I really think I am going to try to get an appointment soon (despite the fact that I really can't afford a tattoo right now). I haven't been able to get a new tattoo for so long! and I have all of these ideas for ones that I want to get. Some of them I have been wanting for years. However, I have this new idea that I've been thinking about lately, and I'm pretty excited about it. So I just thought I would get input from you guys before I decide to go through with it. So here's the idea, You know my "vegan" tattoo on my forearm? (If you don't, there's a picture of it in the post I linked to above.) Well, I want to get one on the opposite arm that looks sort of like a reflection of the other one. Instead of "vegan" though, I want this one to say "volatile" and I want the animals to look less cutesy and more.....not scary.... but......maybe sort of threatening. Like, maybe the cow could have horns, and the pig could have tusks, the chicken could have a longer beak and a bigger comb. I'm not really sure what to do with the rabbit though, I don't know how you make a rabbit look threatening? Maybe just make him a little darker and sleeker looking? Anyway, what do you guys think? Dumb idea?

Image by LanWu at Deviant Art

Ⓥ Vegan Tattoos

I know this probably isn't a major concern for most people, but one of the only things that has been a real struggle for me, since going vegan, has been getting tattoos. I love tattoos, I always have. I think I first started talking about getting one when I was around twelve, and I got my first one when I was sixteen. After that I got an average of about one per year. That is, until I learned that tattoo ink is usually not vegan. At that time, the idea that my tattoos might have animal derivatives never even crossed my mind (Of course, I know better now. Pretty much everything has animal derivatives, unless otherwise specified.)

After I found out about the ink, getting a tattoo went from being something exciting and enjoyable to a huge ordeal that required a lot of planning and hassle. Most larger cities seem to have at least one or two vegan tattoo artists, and some even have whole vegan studios. Where I live though, vegan tattoo ink is just not something that people even consider. For my first two tattoos, after learning the truth about the ink, I drove all the way to Columbus Ohio to find a vegan artist. It was a several hour drive, but it was still worth it to me. Unfortunately, the artist ended up moving to Canada, and I was back to square one.

I finally realized that some studios may just not advertise vegan ink, because there are still a lot of people out there who think that veganism is wimpy, and that sort of clashes with the whole tattoo culture. So I started calling around to different studios and asking them if they had any vegan ink. I eventually found one guy in Pittsburgh who did. I managed to get one tattoo from him before he too disappeared. That was several years ago and I had not located another vegan artist anywhere closer to me than New York City, until yesterday. There is now a tattoo studio called, Rogue Tattoo, in Pittsburgh which advertises on it's website that one of the artists does vegan tattoos! It may not make a lot of sense, but this is incredibly exciting for me. Tattoos are a part of who I am, and knowing that I finally have a place I can go to get new ones is a huge relief to me.

By the way, for anyone who is wondering what makes tattoo ink unsuitable for vegans, the base is glycerin which is generally derived from animal fat. Also, many places use "bone black" which, supposedly, provides a deeper black color but is made from bone char.

My tattoo, splattered with chalk at the color festival. 

Chronic Politeness

I truly believe that the best way to be happy with yourself is to make a point to cultivate characteristics that you respect in others, and to try to overcome the ones you don't respect. I have been making a conscious effort to do this for some time now, and I believe that it has made a huge difference in my self-esteem. At this point, there are very few things that I am ashamed of. There is still one thing though that I just can't seem to get past. I just cannot seem to get over this whole doormat mentality that I have. All the people I respect most tend to be those who don't take shit from anybody; people who stand up for themselves, their beliefs and other beings. I seem to have what you might call "chronic politeness" I am compelled to be polite to people, even when they are being complete dicks to me, and I HATE that about myself.

Last night this woman came into Goodwill and was looking at the jewelry counter. I was standing there waiting to see if she would want me to get anything out for her. She asks to see my tattoo (the Vegan one) and when I show it to her she says, and I quote "Oh that's terrible." and shakes her head slowly. I honestly laughed, I was so taken aback. I mean, I have had people ask to see my tattoo and then not know what to say when they see what it is, but never has anyone expressed such blunt disapproval. Then she says "I have some friends who are vegans (I would just like to say that she may well know some vegans but, considering her attitude toward them, I would be willing to bet that they don't think of her as a friend.). You can usually tell who's a vegan because they're always scrawny like you." I really, REALLY wanted to punch her in the face. I seriously considered telling her that I think her concept of a healthy weight is a bit skewed (she was at least 30 pounds overweight), and/or dropping to the floor and doing 20 or 30 push-ups to show her how fucking "scrawny" I am. Instead, I just rang up her stuff and told her to have a nice night. I then proceeded to berate myself for it for the rest the night and again today.

I'm fairly certain Aeryn would kick the living shit out of anyone who had the nerve to call her scrawny, and I should have done the same. 

My People!

For anyone who doesn't know, I have a tattoo that takes up a large part of my forearm. It has pictures of various animals and says "Vegan" underneath. People at work ask me about it all the time. Usually they say "What does your tattoo say?" or "Can I see your tattoo?" When they realize what it says they either say something like "What does veg-un mean?", make a bad joke, or just look all awkward and say "I like it." obviously hoping that will be the end of the conversation.

So last night, this guy comes up to check out with four kids; his wife was still walking around in the store somewhere. As I'm ringing up their stuff, the guys says to the kids "Look at the lady's tattoo." I turned my arm so the kids could see it, thinking he just wanted them to see the pictures of the animals. Then he asks them "Do you know what that says?" One of the kids, who was probably six or seven says "Vegan". I was totally shocked. Not only did this little kid know how to pronounce it, but he said it like he knew exactly what it meant. Then the guy tells me that he and his wife have been vegetarian for years and that none of the kids have ever had meat. YES! They do exist! 

Flirting Fail

I kind of got flirted with today, so that was sort of nice. I went out to eat with my mom, my sister, and my sister's boyfriend. By the way, when I say "went out to eat" with them, I mean sat at the table with them and watched them eat. Always nice and awkward. Anyway, the waiter started asking me about my tattoo, the vegan one with all the animals. First he asked if he could see it, then where I got it done, then he told me how nice it looked, then he asked me if I get a lot of compliments on it, then if anyone ever says anything negative when they see it. Then he said something like "the only thing missing is a picture of me." I just kind of laughed, thinking he was just being weird. Then he was like, "No I mean people call me cabrito. It means baby goat." I have no idea why they call him that, but the whole thing was pretty cool actually. Of course I, being the awkward and utterly socially inept person that I am, tried to be charming but I'm pretty sure I just looked at him like this.

Plus, I still sound like shit because of the stupid cold.

Okay?!

I warned you. Here is the list of reasons why people need to stop treating me like some weak, innocent, little, pussy.

1- I have eight tattoos (and didn't whine for a second during any of them, just so you know)
2- I spent two months trudging through snow up to my knees in, frequently single-digit temperatures.
3- I spent another two months lifting trash cans full of shit and wet straw over my head.
4- I once let someone shoot me in the back with a paintball, just for shits. It leaves a fairly massive bruise, by the way.
5- I seem to have completely lost my ability to become afraid, which is pretty cool actually.
6- I worked construction for a while.
7- I work out for an hour and a half every day. This includes my power yoga DVD, twenty push-ups, twenty triangle push-ups, and fifty sit-ups.
8- I can eat spicier food than anyone else I've ever met, and usually enjoy it.
9- I haven't taken any sort of pain killer for over ten years, probably closer to fifteen. No matter what.
10- I have been bitten by a remarkable assortment of animals.
11- I applied for a job as a stripper (it's not my fault they didn't hire me).
12- I was threatened by a Brahma bull.
13- I no longer remember how many speeding tickets I have had (at least four).
14- I kicked a giant dent in the trunk of my car.
15- When I was at WVU, I was one of maybe three people I knew who could drink 151 without a chaser and without making a terrible face.
16- I can kick you in the face if I want, yes you.
17- One of the knuckles on my right hand is permanently kind of weird now, from punching solid objects.
18- I once tasted pepper spray, again just for shits.
19- I genuinely enjoy pushing my body to it's limits, just to see what I can do.
20- I have never gotten stitches, even though I probably should have multiple times.
21- I do not scream.
22- I do not cry.
23- I have probably heard every disturbing, offensive, horrifying joke that ever existed; thanks to the guys I used to hang out with at WVU.
24- Sometimes I like to go running outside in the pitch dark, just to freak myself out a little.
25- I seem to have exceptionally strong bones. I have never broken one despite doing just as many, probably quite a few more, dangerous and injurious things as the average person.
26- I truly don't mind (most types of) pain.
27- I sometimes wish that someone would try to mug me or something, just so I can see if I could take them.
28- I absolutely refuse to go to the doctor or take any kind of medications ever. If something is ever wrong with me, I just wait it out.
29- As anyone who reads this has undoubtedly noticed, I talk like a fucking sailor. Of course I don't talk like this at work or anything, because I don't feel like getting fired, but the rest of the time.
30- I may very well end up liberating some animals someday, but shhhhhh, don't tell anyone.
31- I was the only girl who even took the physical test for the police department, and I passed when at least two guys didn't.
32- I have made myself watch an absurd number of animal cruelty/ factory farming videos because I don't want to try to convince people of something that I haven't seen for myself.
33- I have almost no concern for my own safety.
34- I think really awful things about people, all the time.
35- It's just who I fucking am okay?!

Perhaps Someone Put a Glamour on Me?

There seems to be something about me that causes people to view me as this sweet, innocent (and possibly helpless) little goody-goody. I bugs the shit out of me because it's really just not who I am at all. Furthermore, nothing I do seems to have any effect on it. Yesterday, I was helping one of the guys who works in the back carry some furniture out. It wasn't even anything all that big or heavy, just a couple of cabinets. While we were carrying the first one, he looked all surprised that I was able to carry it and made a comment about me being "pretty tough". With the second one he pointed out my tattoo (which, by the way, is always clearly visible) and said that he didn't realize that I had one. I replied that I actually have eight and he looked totally shocked and then laughed and said "Oh, so you're a bad girl then." which was obviously meant as a joke. These weren't really that big of a deal. I'm just sort of confused by the fact that he didn't think I seemed like someone who would have tattoos. The thing that really annoyed me was that, when I got back, the other cashier grinned and said "So the smallest person ends up carrying the furniture?" I tried to smile back at her, but I'm not entirely sure that it didn't come out looking like a snarl. Because here's the thing; I'm not small! I have seen plenty of small girls around. There are tons of girls who are short, and skinny, and delicate looking. I am not one of them! I'm not short. I'm kind of thin, but I'm toned thin, not bony thin. And no part of me looks the least bit delicate. I have large features, long limbs and really fucking bigs hands for a girl. I'm not small, I'm not weak, and I'm not some "good girl". So what exactly is it that makes people see me that way?

Sam knows what it feels like. 

Also, there is a good chance that tomorrows post will be a list of all the reasons people need to stop treating me like a goody-goody.