Ⓥ Abusive Relationship

Someone in one of the vegan groups I follow on Facebook posted a video, a while back, that really got me thinking about body image in our culture. I know I've talked about this before ( a few times, I think) but, hopefully, this is a slightly different perspective on it. I shared the video at the bottom of the page; you should definitely check it out, if you have a chance. 

The basic idea of the video was that there are all of these video bloggers who are promoting unhealthy ideas about body image, and telling girls how to lose weight in unhealthy ways. They condone everything from extreme calorie restriction to diet pills, and pretend that these things are totally acceptable. The video also points out that many of the followers of these blogs are very young and these women are helping them to develop destructive habits very early in life that are likely to cause serious health problems later on. 

I have heard this argument many times before, that our culture puts too much pressure on women, and especially young girls, to be skinny and that it creates a whole society of women who hate their bodies. This video had a slightly different take on it though. Instead of just telling us to love our bodies as they are, he recommends a different set of bloggers who offered advice on healthy ways to take care of your body. These people tell us to eat better food, not less food, and advise their followers to keep their bodies healthy, not skinny. 

I think this is something that needs to be discussed more often. It seems like our culture has two setting, when it comes to body image. There is the group that tells you that you need to be skinny, and there is the side that tells you to "love your body". Well, I agree wholeheartedly that we should love our bodies, but I feel like that means something else to me than it does to most people. It seems like a lot of people who claim to "love" their bodies, don't really do a whole lot to take care of them. 

To me, claiming to love your body while depriving it of the things it needs, like healthy food and exercise, sounds an awful lot like an abusive relationship. Saying "I love you" while abusing or neglecting the one you claim to love is not really love. If we truly want to love our bodies, we should absolutely stop starving them and hating them for not looking the way we want them to, but we should also do what is necessary to keep them healthy, like giving them proper nutrients and exercise and not filling them up with foods full of chemicals, grease, sugars, cholesterol, and other nasty things. 

Another thing to consider when talking about loving your body is the fact that our bodies aren't these separate things that we can observe from a distance. Our bodies are us. Whether you believe there is more to us than our physical bodies or not, I think we can all agree that, at least for the duration of our lifetime, we are inextricably tied to our bodies. So loving your body, also involves loving yourself as a whole. To me, this means being the kind of person who I can love; doing what I know is right. 

As far as I'm concerned, giving my body what it needs to be healthy and giving myself what I need to feel good about the person I am (mostly) come down to the same thing, veganism. Animal based foods are bad for our bodies, our minds, and our souls. They contribute to (if not outright cause) a multitude of illnesses, force us to ignore the basic facts about these products to justify continuing to eat them, and cause a sense of guilt and shame that we may not acknowledge but is there just the same. 

So, please check out the video and think about your own feelings about your body. You can decide for yourself what it truly means to "love your body" but try to remember how you express love in any other situation. Then ask yourself if the relationship you have with your body is really one of love or of abuse. 

Comic Women

I know I pretty much always seem to have a slightly different perspective on feminist issues than pretty much anybody else.....well here's another one. I know a lot of people are pissed off about the way women are portrayed in comics (see the Hawkeye Initiative), and I can see where they're coming from. The truth is though, I kind of love it.

Don't get me wrong, some of the poses are pretty over-the-top, but the fact that there is someplace where women who are strong are also seen as sexy seems like a good thing to me. Yeah, they all wear skimpy little outfits (which is kind of ridiculous) but then again, all the guys wear spandex (which is equally ridiculous). They are also very strong though, like as strong as the guys, and (here's my favorite part!) at least in most cases they are actually drawn to look like they are as strong as they are.

I have always thought that "strong" women in movies and TV tend to not look very strong. The problem is that they are subject to Hollywood's beauty standards and therefore are basically required to be thin and feminine looking. As far as I know, comic are the only place where female characters can not only be as strong as male characters but also actually look as strong as the male characters. Plus, the guys in comics are okay with the women being as strong and muscular as they are, which I don't think happens often anywhere else. So yeah, I think a few dumb looking poses are worth it to have strong women be seen as a good thing.  

Typhoid Mary is crazy as fuck, but she's also really tough and muscular and all the guys are really into her, despite the fact that she's always kicking the shit out of them (at least that's the case in the Deadpool comics I've been reading).

Another Poem Video (Ban-Gaisgedaig)

Here is my new video of my poem, Ban-Gaisgedaig. I really need to find a better place to film these things than on my mom's couch. Also, I got kind of lazy this time and decided to read the thing instead of memorizing it, sorry about that. 

By the way, if anyone actually has any idea how to pronounce that word I would love to know! I found it online so I've never heard it said, and it's Celtic so I know it wouldn't just be pronounced the way it's spelled. 

So Cool

A few days ago, I rented The Wolverine from Redbox and today I finally got around to watching it. It was good; I thoroughly enjoyed it. What I enjoyed more though was finding what I think is my new favorite, comic-based, character; Yukio. She is fucking fantastic! Everything about her is just so incredibly badass. First of all, she is an amazing fighter. She saves Logan's ass on multiple occasions. Second, her weapon of choice is a sword, which is definitely what I would choose. Third, she is super brave and not in that "I want to go with you, but then you have to drop what you're doing and come save me when I get in trouble." way that a lot of female characters in these kinds of movies are.

Fourth, she and I have practically the same sense of style. Those boots look just like mine. I had those same socks a few years ago and wore them util there was nothing left of them. I had my hair that color for years, and probably still would if mine didn't fade to obnoxious pink after about a week. I even lover her coat; assuming that's not real sheep, which I'm fairly certain it's not. 

P.S. At the beginning of this movie, Logan gets into a fight with a dumbass hunter who killed his bear friend. This automatically gets it a thumbs up from me. It was still really good after that too though. 

In Conclusion

Seriously, just this one last thing and then I'll move on, at least for a while. There is this idea that seems to be fairly common, that things like wearing makeup and shaving your legs are inherently somewhat oppressive to women. I disagree. To be honest, I can't really decide who got the short end of the stick on the whole makeup thing. I mean, yeah it kind of sucks that women are expected to look all perfect all the time. When I think about it though, I'm pretty glad that I get to wear makeup. I feel so much better about myself with it and, if I were a guy, I wouldn't be able to get away with wearing it. As girls, we get to basically paint ourselves to look however we want. Guys are pretty much stuck with what they've got. Unless, of course, they're actors.  

Okay, so Supernatural is not exactly the most feminist show on TV. Holy fuck do I love it though!  

Also, I think instead of women not shaving their legs, guys should have to start shaving theirs. I mean come one guys, body hair is pretty gross; and I, for one, don't want to touch anybody who is all furry anymore than you do. Just saying. 

Furthermore

This is actually sort of old news, but it pissed me off at the time and I was just thinking about it and thought, since I'm on this whole feminism kick the last few days, I might as well write about it. A while back I found this article about how magazines are now starting to Photo Shop models to look "healthier." Well, I don't if that's a good thing or a bad thing really. It seems to me that if a model is so thin that magazine editors think she looks unhealthy they should just encourage her to actually get healthy, but whatever that's not what this post is actually about.

The thing about the article that pissed me off was the picture of Cameron Diaz. Now, don't get me wrong, she is very thin. However, I don't think that she is unhealthily thin and it looks to me like what they really did was not to make her look "healthier" but to make her look more traditionally feminine. They smoothed out all of her muscle tone and made her look more soft and curved everywhere. One of the things they say they did to the photo was to smooth out the "bony definition" on her hip. I would think that people who make their living taking pictures of people's bodies would have some understanding of the human body. That isn't her fucking hipbone they smoothed out! It's the muscle that runs over the hipbone (the obliques, maybe?), and it will only show up like it does on her if you do a shit-ton of sit-ups! In the original photo, she did not have the type of body you get from starving yourself, which is what the article makes it sound like, she had the type of body you get from working your fucking ass off. I don't know how she felt about it, but if some magazine shooped out all the work I had put into my body and then claimed that they did it to make me look healthier, I would be kicking someone's ass and, in the original photo, she looks like she is more than capable of doing it.

And Another Thing....

To continuing the discussion from last night, another thing that I don't really agree with about our society's current idea about feminism is this whole "body acceptance" movement. I mean, the idea behind it is great and all, but I think we're going about it in entirely the wrong way.

It seems to me that telling women to accept their bodies just as they are is sort of the opposite of empowering. Let me explain. The problem with our ideas about our bodies (at least in my humble opinion) is not that we want to change them; changing our bodies requires will-power, hard work, dedication, commitment, all of these are good things. The problem is that we want to change our bodies into what society tells us they should be. I see absolutely no problem with people wanting to be the best they can in every way. We should not be telling women to accept their bodies as they are, we should be telling them to make their bodies what they want them to be. I think there is a great sense of empowerment that comes from watching your body change and become better due to your hard work. That is something that we should be cultivating, not discouraging.

I, personally, don't believe that I will ever stop trying to improve my body; I'm just not the type of person who is ever really completely satisfied with anything. That in no way means that I don't appreciate the progress I have made though. I feel good about all the work that I have done, and all the benefits I have gained from it. This is not because I look the way society tells me I should (because I don't look the way society tells me I should) but because I look more and more the way I want to everyday. I feel that, instead of telling each other to accept our bodies the way they are, we should be telling each other to decide who we want to be, and do whatever it takes to be that. Myself, I'm sort of going for the "warrior woman" look.

"Have you ever been with a warrior woman?" 

Helpless or Bitchy?

So, my dad and I have been watching Angel lately. Tonight we watched the episode "Billy". This was the episode with the guy who had the (really lovely) power to make any guy he touched become a woman-hating psychopath. Anyway, it was a very feminist episode and, whenever I think about that sort of thing, I always find myself analyzing the different perspectives on feminism and what it means to different people. I know I have talked a little about this in the past, but I think I have a slightly different idea about this stuff than most people do. For example, overall I thought this episode was great, but there where a few things that really bugged me. One was this scene with Cordelia and Lilah where Cordelia convinces Lilah that she should help them because she is a "vicious bitch" and that no vicious bitch would ever put up with someone making her feel helpless. That bugs the shit out of me! I feel like that tends to happen in A LOT of shows. The girl is either, at least somewhat, helpless or, at least somewhat of, a bitch. No one seems to know how to write female characters who are both strong and pleasant to be around. I feel like we need to try a little harder to let women know that you don't have to be an asshole to be strong and take care of yourself.

One of the things I did really like about the episode though was Cordelia's sword fighting, because something that frequently irritates me about "strong female characters" is when you watch them fight and you can tell that, yeah the character is strong but the actress playing her isn't. I thought Charisma Carpenter looked like she could do some serious damage.

Badass Girls

I have been thinking lately about shows with really tough female characters, and I have come to the conclusion that someone needs to inform the makers of these shows that taking a cute girl and making her hit things does not automatically make her a badass. You have to actually teach her how to fight, at least a little, otherwise she just looks like a little girl pretending to fight. I'm not saying all shows do this, but a lot of them do, and it bugs the shit out of me. Can we hire some actresses who are actually tough, instead of just hiring pretty ones and having them pretend to be tough? I think young Mary Winchester has to be one of the worst ones ever. Do you remember the fight scene between her and Dean? She looked fucking ridiculous.

At least S.H.I.E.L.D. acknowledged the fact that Skye sucks at fighting. 

Slut-Shame

I have noticed a lot of talk lately, within my social (media) circle, of "slut-shaming". There seems to be a pretty large movement, as of late, to put an end to this practice in an attempt to free our society of it's double-standard when it comes to sexual activity. I agree with this movement to some extent. However, I happen to believe that there is more to it than most people seem to acknowledge. Personally, I feel that which, and how many, people a person chooses to have sex with is entirely that person's business and in no way reflects on any other aspects of his or her character. For example, let's say I met this really cool, interesting, kind-hearted, intelligent woman with lots of interest and causes that she cared about. I truly wouldn't care the tiniest bit if I found out that she likes to fuck five different guy a night, because that's not who she is. On the other hand, someone who has no interests, no real personality, and nothing else to identify her by, who sleeps with a lot of guys ends up being defined by that one trait. So yeah, I believe that is something to be ashamed of, especially if you go along willingly. Basically my idea about slut-shaming is this; there is nothing shameful about being a "slut" the shameful thing is being a slut and nothing more.

Regardless of her job, I think she would have been a cool person to hang out with. Now Kiki, on the other hand.......

P.S. I think my Dollhouse references make even less sense to the average person than my other TV references.

Okay?!

I warned you. Here is the list of reasons why people need to stop treating me like some weak, innocent, little, pussy.

1- I have eight tattoos (and didn't whine for a second during any of them, just so you know)
2- I spent two months trudging through snow up to my knees in, frequently single-digit temperatures.
3- I spent another two months lifting trash cans full of shit and wet straw over my head.
4- I once let someone shoot me in the back with a paintball, just for shits. It leaves a fairly massive bruise, by the way.
5- I seem to have completely lost my ability to become afraid, which is pretty cool actually.
6- I worked construction for a while.
7- I work out for an hour and a half every day. This includes my power yoga DVD, twenty push-ups, twenty triangle push-ups, and fifty sit-ups.
8- I can eat spicier food than anyone else I've ever met, and usually enjoy it.
9- I haven't taken any sort of pain killer for over ten years, probably closer to fifteen. No matter what.
10- I have been bitten by a remarkable assortment of animals.
11- I applied for a job as a stripper (it's not my fault they didn't hire me).
12- I was threatened by a Brahma bull.
13- I no longer remember how many speeding tickets I have had (at least four).
14- I kicked a giant dent in the trunk of my car.
15- When I was at WVU, I was one of maybe three people I knew who could drink 151 without a chaser and without making a terrible face.
16- I can kick you in the face if I want, yes you.
17- One of the knuckles on my right hand is permanently kind of weird now, from punching solid objects.
18- I once tasted pepper spray, again just for shits.
19- I genuinely enjoy pushing my body to it's limits, just to see what I can do.
20- I have never gotten stitches, even though I probably should have multiple times.
21- I do not scream.
22- I do not cry.
23- I have probably heard every disturbing, offensive, horrifying joke that ever existed; thanks to the guys I used to hang out with at WVU.
24- Sometimes I like to go running outside in the pitch dark, just to freak myself out a little.
25- I seem to have exceptionally strong bones. I have never broken one despite doing just as many, probably quite a few more, dangerous and injurious things as the average person.
26- I truly don't mind (most types of) pain.
27- I sometimes wish that someone would try to mug me or something, just so I can see if I could take them.
28- I absolutely refuse to go to the doctor or take any kind of medications ever. If something is ever wrong with me, I just wait it out.
29- As anyone who reads this has undoubtedly noticed, I talk like a fucking sailor. Of course I don't talk like this at work or anything, because I don't feel like getting fired, but the rest of the time.
30- I may very well end up liberating some animals someday, but shhhhhh, don't tell anyone.
31- I was the only girl who even took the physical test for the police department, and I passed when at least two guys didn't.
32- I have made myself watch an absurd number of animal cruelty/ factory farming videos because I don't want to try to convince people of something that I haven't seen for myself.
33- I have almost no concern for my own safety.
34- I think really awful things about people, all the time.
35- It's just who I fucking am okay?!

Thoughts on Feminism

I have been debating for a while about whether or not I should write this post, because I have an idea that it will piss some people off. Please know that is not my intention. These are just my ideas on the subject and I don't feel like anyone is really expressing this viewpoint. Maybe because they're afraid of the backlash?

Anyway, I feel like the feminist movement has sort of outlived it's usefulness. Back when it started it was a wonderful thing, because women really were being discriminated against on a massive scale. Today though, I feel like the discrimination that takes place is more on an individual basis. This means that we, as women, should be addressing it on an individual basis. The idea of feminism is still incredibly important, but I don't think it's about laws and policies anymore, now it's about us as people. I think, for the most part, women today don't get treated the same as men because they don't act they same as men.

I have never really felt discriminated against because of my sex. In the instances when a guy has somehow implied that I was in some way less than him, I have not gone into some feminist rant, I have simply done whatever I could to prove him wrong. Back when I worked at Goodwill, I used to jump at the chance to help carry furniture in or out of the store. I was always bored out of my mind standing at the register and doing anything physical was much more appealing to me. It was not uncommon for me to go start to pick up some big, heavy thing and the big, burly guy who was buying or donating it to come over and say "Here let me get that." and try to take it out of my hands. When this happened, I always made a point to say "That's okay, I got it." pick it up, showing as little effort as possible, and walk away. On more than one occasion I looked back to find the big, burly guy standing there staring at me as if I were some sort of mythical creature.

This reaction leads me to believe that these men have not encountered many women who are able, or perhaps willing, to do things that require physical effort. I'm not especially surprised by this. I personally have known quite a few women who aren't even willing to try to do things like carry furniture. But how many men do you know who would say " I can't lift that, it's too heavy"? Most of them would be humiliated to say that. Women say that all the time though, and I think it's because they expect themselves to be weak. How can we expect men to believe we are equal to them when we don't believe it ourselves?

I guess my point is that, at this point in history, feminism is about us. If we want guys to believe that we are strong and smart and capable, we have to believe that we are strong and smart and capable. Then we have to prove it. Just saying.

I Will Go all River Tam on Your Ass

A while back, in my communication class we did group presentations. One group did their presentation on why they DON'T support equal rights for women. One of the reasons they gave, all of which were completely idiotic by the way, went something like this "Girls, if you punch your boyfriend do you really want him to be able to punch you back?" I want any guys who are out there to know this; if I ever punch you, I fully expect you to punch me back. Just like if you ever punch me, you can expect me to kick the shit out of you. I don't feel that the fact that I'm a women in any way entitles me to violence without repercussions.