Epilator! (Video)

Fuck you, Epilator! 

Fight Club (Video)

I need a new outlet! 

Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A?

My dad and I have been watching Hemlock Grove, on DVD because we can't get Netflix at his house. I thought that it was pretty safe to watch season one because season two had already been released on blu-ray (for $60.00, for ten episodes!) so surely the DVDs would be out anytime. So, ever since we started season one, I've been checking Amazon every couple of days for season two DVDs. Well, we finished season one a couple of days ago and there was still no sign of them.

I've already watched both seasons twice, but I'm still dying to watch it again, and my dad really likes it and wants to know what happens next. So we have both been pretty annoyed by the lack of season two DVDs. A while back we managed to find "Hemlock Grove Season 2 (Region 2) DVDs", but I was kind of iffy about that, because I wasn't really sure what the difference was. I mean, I knew that meant they were originally released in another country, but I didn't know if they would be different somehow. So I kept waiting.....and waiting......and finally, yesterday, I just said "fuck it!" and ordered them.

Then today, I happened across another set of DVDs from region two. These had a disclaimer which said "Region two; Won't play in most American or Canadian DVD players." SHIT! I assumed, if there was a difference it would be within the show itself (like it would be edited differently or something) I never considered the possibility that the disks wouldn't even work. And here's the really annoying part, it's not even a difference in the players, it's just in the way they are programmed. So, at some point, some asshole was like "Hey, we can't have these people selling DVDs from one country to another, let's program some weird protocol into the players that won't let them play foreign shows." Fuck that guy!

Fortunately (maybe) there are supposedly cheat codes you can use to make your player "region free." I guess we'll just have to wait until the disks get here, and give it a shot.

Oh we're ready. We are so ready. 

You're Kidding Right? Right?...........RIGHT?

You know my electronic curse? That thing that causes every electronic device I ever own to break in weird, inconvenient, and irreparable ways? Well, it appears that it is not confined to electronic devices but electricity in general. You know how I said that my dad and I got electricity run to the pump house last week, and that all we had to do was hook up the panel box and I would have water at the pig barn? Well, it turns out that there is a short somewhere in the (I believe 80ft long) cable that we ran along the ceiling of my dad's shop and then under the ground outside, and there is no way for us to know where it is unless we dig the whole thing up and probably strip the coating off of it to find where the problem is. So yeah, I'd say we're back to square one with the electricity, but we're actually way farther back than that. What the fuck, Powers? Seriously, what the fuck?

The Stupidest Thing Ever!

Would you like to hear the stupidest thing ever? Now you guys know how many stupid things happen to me, so you know that when I say this is "the stupidest thing ever" that is really saying something.

Remember how the guy who was supposed to move my camper backed out because the license pate was expired (and also, kind of, because of the bearings)? Well, as it turns out, the license plate is not in fact expired (also, it turns out that the bearings are good too). Apparently, when the guy who sold me the thing asked me what I was going to do about the license plate, he was just wanting to know if I needed him to leave his (still legal) plate on.

So yeah, now that I have already cancelled the deal with the mover, I find out that every single issues that was keeping him from moving the fucking thing is actually not an issues at all! Unfortunately, I now can't find anyone else who is willing to do it for anything remotely resembling a reasonable price. All of the other companies that bid on my shipment originally are now ignoring me, presumably because they don't want to deal with someone who cancels shipments. So, basically, I am now completely fucked for absolutely no reason at all!

Do you guys remember Freaks and Geeks ^ because it was a really good show.

What a Fucking Surprise!

Remember how I said that I should have my camper soon, as long as nothing went wrong with the transport of it? Well, guess what? It did! The guy who I hired to move it decided that he's not going to move it after all. He says that the tires might not be any good, and the bearings might not be any good, and the license plate is expired. Well, you know what? Those are things that he probably should have considered before I payed for him to haul the fucking thing! I just sort of assumed that someone who moves campers for a living would have the means to move campers that are harder to move. He knew how old the thing was, and that I had bought it on Ebay, before he agreed to move it. Somehow the idea that maybe a thirty year old camper wouldn't be in perfect condition, and might have an expired license plate, didn't occur to him until I had already paid for his services. Now I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do! Obviously, I'm going to try to get my money back, but how am I supposed to find someone who I can count on to move the thing for real. I really thought that going through a service (uShip) that does nothing but connect people who need things moved with people who move things would be a sure-fire way to get the thing moved. Nope! That's the sort of thing that works for normal people, not me! Never me!

Again, Deadpool understands me......well, except for the fact that I don't kill people.

Scarlet Fever

I just thought that I would show you guys exactly what I did to my arm yesterday. In case you can't tell, it basically looks like road rash. I kind of wish it was road rash; then it would at least indicate that I had done something halfway interesting. Instead it just indicates that I'm a dumbass, and my life is stupid. I mean seriously! I've practiced that punch every day for the past several weeks, and not once did I kick through the wall or scrape my arm on the ceiling but, naturally, since I was trying to film it yesterday everything that could possibly go wrong did.

By the way, the post title is a reference to the Supernatural episode "Yellow Fever" in which Dean caught ghost sickness which caused him to develop spontaneous road rash, and be afraid of everything. Since I'm not really afraid of anything, but am pissed off all the time, I decided to go with "scarlet fever" (because yellow=afraid, red=angry)...... too convoluted?

My Cover Is Blown

Last night the New Instructor's Girlfriend was there. When I came in, he turned to her and said "Whitney is the one with the knife in her boot." Then he turned to me and said "I told her. I told everyone!" and I was like "You've let my secret out!" I mean really, how am I supposed to be an assassin if he goes around telling everyone?

Anyway, things went well. I ended up working with the same guy I worked with last week, and he seems cool. We worked on combinations with punches kicks and blocks, and I feel like we did pretty decent. 

It looks like I may have to take a break from class for a while soon though. The New Instructor is leaving in two weeks and will be gone until August. Apparently, they are getting some new guy to take over most of the classes, but he can't do Fridays. Oh well, I guess I'll jut have to find some new outlet for my aggression for a month and a half. 

The Dinosaur of Anger!

What in the fucking hell is this? Has anyone else ever gotten this? Is it a Hughesnet thing? Is it my computer? I have never seen this anywhere else, on any other computer. But the last week this son of a bitch shows up on my screen ten..... twenty times a day. I don't know what is going on, but holy fuck have I grown to hate this little bastard!

Does It Still Count?

It's after midnight so I suppose I officially skipped a day's post. The reason is that our internet is still being exceptionally shitty. It's all slow, and sporadic, and generally infuriating. This wouldn't be so bad if I had anything else to do with my time, but I really just don't. I mean, I guess I kind of do, but I need the internet to get me in a good enough mood to do those other things without putting my fist through the wall or something. Also, I ordered the next Sandman book forever ago and it's still not here! No internet and no book, grrrrrrrarrrghhhhh!

That Worked Out Well

You know how I'm always bitching about how shitty our internet is here? Well, for the past three days, it has been SUPER shitty. Like, working just enough to make you keep going "Maybe it'll work now!" over, and over, and over again until you want to throw your computer through a wall. Or maybe that's just me? Anyway, today for the first time in weeks I finally manged to make myself get up early; not because I had anything in particular to do, but just because I feel better and get more accomplished that way. Well, guess what? The internet was finally working, so instead of getting anything important accomplished, I spent four hours just fucking around online to make up for not being able to for a few days. I'm telling you guys, my time management skills are impeccable. The good news about all of this wasted time is that I managed to find an Etsy shop run by a vegan/animal rights advocate who makes perfume inspired by various nerdy things; including this one\/ based on Sam Winchester.

Also, she donates some of the proceeds to animal charities! How cool is that? If I had money, I might just buy every one of her perfumes just so I would know what all of my favorite characters smell like.  Here is Dean, by the way. And Cas.   

Self-Awareness

One of these days, I really am going to get my shit together and post everyday. Anyway.

I really hate myself sometimes for being as unhappy as I am. I feel like, to an outside observer, my life really doesn't seem all that bad. So what right do I have to feel the way I do about it? Furthermore, I pretty much always hate myself for how incredibly angry I get over the most mundane annoyances. I mean, one tiny thing goes wrong and I'm utterly furious for most of the day. I think I finally figured out though, why it is that I am the way I am. It's not like knowing why is actually going to change anything, but at least I understand now. So here's my theory; I think there are a few basic things that people need to have, or feel that they have, in order to function in an even remotely healthy way.

1- Purpose- People need to have concrete goals to work toward. They need to know where they want to be and what steps they should take in order to get there.
2- Fulfillment- People need to feel that the things they do matter. Their lives need to have value for them.
3- Connection- People need other people. Whether romantic or platonic, people need to feel deep connections with others. They need to feel understood, accepted, and appreciated.
4- Space- People need to have a safe place. They need to have a place to go that feels like their own, a place to get away from the rest of the world and feel at home.
5- Control- People need to feel like they have some small measure of control over what happens to them. They need to feel like they have the ability to shape their own futures, like their choices matter.

The problem is, I don't feel like I have any of these things.

1- I don't know what the fuck my purpose is.
2- I know, for a fact, that nothing I'm doing right now matters in the least.
3- Basically, the only people I even associate with are my immediate family and, half the time, they don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about.
4- I can't even remember when the last time was that I felt "at home" in the place I was living.
5- No matter how hard I try, every choice I make somehow gets me farther and farther from where I want to be.

The point here is this, I have GOT to get some of this shit figured out or I am going to end up spending the rest of my life as a giant fuming ball of rage. I don't have any of the big things that people need in life, so I put far too much importance on the little things. So then, one little thing gets fucked up and my world falls apart. I am basically holding my psyche together with duct tape.

To make up for the fact that this post is so depressing and whiny, here is a picture of Impala being all adorable.

Enough Already!

Sorry there was no post yesterday. You see, it was raining so Hughesnet took the day off. Of course, today we are completely buried under a mountain of snow but apparently Hughesnet doesn't mind snow. I guess I should be grateful that it's rain, and not snow, that scares our internet away because if I were snowed into the house and didn't have any internet access I can guarantee that bad things would happen. Anyway, with or without internet, this snow is really getting to be absurd. I mean seriously, what is the fucking deal this year? This is more snow than I think I have ever seen, other than when I was in Watkins Glen. So, to whoever is responsible for this sort of thing; can we get over this snow bullshit and move on now please? Thanks.

This is Avo stuck in a snow drift, by the way. 

Everything Is Broken

Sorry there was no post yesterday. Everything was (still kind of is) broken and I was just WAY too pissed off to write anything other than incoherent growling noises, which I wouldn't even be sure how to spell. First, I couldn't get my car out of the driveway, because of all the snow. Then, I tried to do laundry and the washing machine was frozen so that it filled with water but wouldn't drain, leaving my clothes soaking in their own dirty water. And finally, the one that really did it for me, my workout DVD broke. Like won't work at all, won't even register that it's in the disk drive, broke. I'm actually a little less pissed about it now that I know it's the DVD itself that is broken and not my computer, which is what I assumed it was originally. Of course I didn't realize this until late yesterday evening which means I didn't work out at all yesterday. I'm going to be aggravated about that for about a week or so. Now that I do know it's the DVD I just have to use one of my old workouts, which is nice in a way because I had been doing the same one everyday for at least a year and a half. Now I'm just paranoid that the one I'm doing now won't be as effective. You know, because I'm a crazy person.

"Sometime a thing gets broke can't be fixed." 

Stranded Again

Once again, we are having truly awful weather here. It's snowing A LOT, and really fucking cold. This means that I'm basically confined to the house for the entirety of the day, and who knows how many more days after this. Here's the funny part though, it's kind of okay with me. I have realized that, if I actually had my own space, I would probably be better off just hiding in the house all day. When I know that I don't have anywhere to go, I come up with all of these things that I want to do. Most of them are a complete and utter waste of time but, every once in a while, I actually manage to do something half-way worthwhile. I come up with all of these different art projects I want to try and all of these different writing ideas. I feel like, if I had unlimited time, I might actually be able to do something with some of this shit someday. As it is, I mostly just think of things I want to do and then never do them.The biggest issue is trying to get in as many of the things I think about doing as I can before my motivation starts to wane, which always happens much sooner than I expect it to. Also, it seems like the majority of my stress and anger comes from time constraints. I'm late for everything all the time and it never ceases to piss me off. It's pretty hard to be late for hanging around your own house though.

P.S. Don't forget to watch the new Supernatural tonight to combat the "boycott" :)

What Exactly Did I Do to You Anyway?

Sorry there was no post yesterday, I was busy trying not to spontaneously combust. Seriously, is it just me or do other people feel like the more you think you just can't deal with one more single thing, the more the Powers that Be dump piles of shit on you? I mean, I have gotten to the point where all I can really do is try to zone out and pretend like my life isn't really happening. So, naturally, more and more and more things keep happening that I can't ignore without terrible consequences. You know how I've bitched about all the mud and ice around the pig barn? Well, the whole fucking field is like that too and Riley Pig has a really hard time walking on it. That doesn't stop him from stomping around and knocking Tuni out of her food bowl though. Well, shockingly, a few days ago he was knocking her around and slipped on the ice and fucked his foot all up. My dad and I gave him some antibiotics and put some ointment on it and hoped that he would be careful with it and let it heal. He didn't. He just kept stomping around on it and making it worse. So Yesterday we had to put up a wall and lock him in the barn. Now not only is his foot fucking awful looking, but I get to try to go in and feed him while he is roaring and charging back and forth and trying to slam me against the wall, plus I really don't know what to do if it doesn't get better soon. It's not like I can just put him in the car and take his ass to the vet. Fuck everything.

Fucking Awesome

Last night, I stayed at my mom's house to watch the new Supernatural (which was fantastic as always, by the way) so I didn't get back to feed Riley and Tuni until after ten. Then, when I went to put the water buckets in the car, my entire car was covered in this layer of extremely fine frost. It was so thin that I couldn't even get it to scrape off. Well, I wasn't about to wait around for my car to warm up enough to melt it. So I just said "Fuck it!", and decided to drive it anyway. I mean the barn is like ten feet from the house. So I'm peeking through this tiny clear spot on the windshield, trying to make sure no cars are coming as I pull out. Unfortunately, I forgot how close I had parked to the fence and I drug the side of my car against the fence-post. Luckily, it was my shitty, rusted up car and not my mom's car. That doesn't really help the fence-post though.

At least I got to see the new Supernatural, right? 

Today Is a Good Day I Think for Doing Things that Are a Waste of Time

So.....it is currently -5 outside. This fucking sucks! Obviously, I will not be leaving the house for anything that is not absolutely necessary. Also, I don't think I will be working out today since my exercise room still has an air conditioner in one of the windows, and none of the other windows seal properly, and I don't particularly feel like getting frost bite whilst I do yoga. So I think today will be my day for doing all the things that I always want to do but don't do because I feel like there are better uses of my time. I already stayed in bed until 10:00 which, -5 or not, makes me feel like a lazy asshole. I think I will read the rest of American Gods, which I have been working on forever because I never read for more than a few minutes at a time. Perhaps I will also break out my clay and work on some more molds, which may or may not ever be used. Who knows, maybe I'll even get super motivated and write something worthwhile.

So This Is Christmas

Sorry there was no post yesterday. I just don't find the holidays particularly inspiring. Also, I seem to have a cold or something, which never fails make me lazy and pissed off. I mean seriously, I'm not supposed to get sick. I'm supposed to be some sort of super-human creature who is completely impervious to all disease, or so my brain keeps telling me. Aaaaaanyway, I suppose it hasn't been such a bad holiday. Yesterday, I sat around and watched Dark Angel with my dad and then Supernatural with my mom, and it's looking like about the same thing today. Also, there's a new Doctor Who tonight, so that's cool.

We just finished watching the Dark Angel episode where baby Jensen Ackles plays a super-soldier/serial killer with a thing for teeth, which is an excellent way to get into the holiday spirit. Merry Christmas to all! 

Ewwwww

After yesterday's post, some of you may be wondering why the fuck I would be so damn determined to make myself get by on less sleep, when most people are constantly tying for more sleep. Well, I'm going to tell you a little story.

For the last weeks or so, the ground outside the door of the pig barn has been a straight sheet of ice. Fortunately, it was rough enough on the surface that, as long as I was careful, I could still walk on it. Then, yesterday it got up near sixty degrees here and the ice began to melt. It didn't quite melt all the way though. It just sort of melted on the surface. This caused it to become slick as all fuck. When I got to the barn, I could tell by it's excessively shiny appearance that it was slick, but I thought "I'll just be extra careful. It can't be that slick." Wrong! I'm holding both water buckets and I, very slowly, take a single step forward and (SWOOSH!) my feet go flying out from under me. I do sort of a half turn in the air and land with the side of my leg directly on top of one of one of the buckets. Then, by some twisted physics that I don't understand, I sort of skidded across the top of the lid; resulting in a gash across the front of my knee and a bruise stretching almost the entire length from my hip bone to the side of my knee.

By now, you're probably wondering just what the hell any of this has to do with the amount of sleep I get on a given night. Well, normally, an event like this would have made me absolutely furious. First of all- it's just plain inconvenient, second-I hate feeling like a fool (which is sort of the inevitable result of failing to keep your own body standing upright), and third- it kind of hurt. On the average day, I probably would have ended up punching something. Would you like to know what my response was yesterday? "Ouch." and then "Eh." and then I went about my day.

You see, there is obviously something severely fucked up about my brain chemistry because sleep deprivation affects me in about the same way that a mild sedative affects other people. I feel basically the same as I do any other time except for the fact that I don't get ridiculously pissed off over stupid shit all the time.

Now you're probably wondering why the hell I posted a picture of a rainbow. It's because this is basically what my leg looks like at this point. It is SO many different colors.