Blah Blah Blah (Video)

I've been considering doing some video posts as opposed to written posts, so here is my practice run. Apologies for the terrible thumbnail, I couldn't get the other one to show up, the video does still work though.

I'm Not Even Being Sarcastic This Time!

Do you guys remember, way back when, when T.O.F.U magazine published an article that I wrote? Well, they've decided to do a book collecting the best articles from past issues......and they want to include mine! I'm pretty excited about it; it's nice to know that someone considered my writing good enough to be included in a "best of" anything collection. The only problem is that they want me to write an update to go with it and, unfortunately, I have made little to no actual progress in my life since I wrote the article. So yeah, I'm going to have to think up a way to say "My life is still a complete and utter mess" in a way that doesn't sound pathetic.

Also, I totally just realized that I forgot to link to the album for my Typhoid Mary shoot. Be sure you "like"

my sister's photography page while you're there!

Several Fails and a Win

Well, I have really been on a roll this week, let me tell you.

1- I have now missed two posts within one week.
2- I have now put off my animal rightsy post for so many days that it now doesn't really seem worth posting one. I think I'll just wait until this Friday.
3- The guy who sells the hot peppers wasn't at the farmers market, so there will be no reaper video this week.
4- I bought an epilator (if you don't know what that is, because I didn't, it's basically a bunch of tweezers hooked up to a motor that pulls your hair out). That in itself isn't too much of a fail, aside from the fact that I really couldn't afford such a thing, but the fact that so far all it has done is remove about half of the hairs in a given area and give me a horrible looking rash is. I'm going to keep using it for a while anyway though, because I paid too damn much for the thing to give up on it that easily.



Now for the one win.

1- The Typhoid Mary pictures cam out really great!

Postponed

Today is supposed to be my animal rightsy post day. I do have one that I've been working on, but it's not ready yet. So I'm going to put it off until tomorrow or the next day, so I can take the time to make it a little better. Anyway, since I'm not doing my animal rights posts today, I thought I would take this time to ask you guys a question.

When I get moved into my camper, I'm thinking of setting up a space to do videos. I'm wondering if you guys would rather see more video blogs and less written blogs? I know there are a lot of people who would rather watch videos than read posts, and I'm wondering if I should start leaning more toward a video blog? What do you think?

Throw Back Thursdays...?

I've been half considering posting some of my old writing here; mostly because I feel like I'm eventually going to run out of shit to talk about, and that would delay the inevitable for a little while. Are people still doing the Throwback Thursdays thing? I feel like that would be a good(ish) excuse to post old writing. I'm thinking about sharing some of the poems from my ill-fated poetry book from a few (read- more than I care to think about) years ago, also maybe some of the better posts from my old blog, perhaps one or two papers I wrote in college, and possibly even some random excerpts from some of my old notebooks. What do you guys think? Would anyone care to read any of that? I've been skimming through some of it lately, and I feel like most of it's a bit overly dramatic, but also somewhat more creative than the stuff I tend to write now. Could be interesting....or not, I don't know.

I Made a Thing

So, I have been experimenting with making random things out of clay, just to see what I might be good at and/or enjoy. Well, the other day I made what was supposed to be a pig. Instead, it turned out as more of a panteater; a little bit pig, but mostly anteater. I decided that such a creature really needed a back story, so I made one up for him.

 The Panteater is a cunning creature who, though mostly harmless, can be highly inconvenient. He will sneak into your home while you sleep and, though causing no physical harm to anyone, will eat any and all pants within the home. Despite the great deal of frustration this causes when everyone wakes up the next morning to find that they suddenly posses not a single pair of pants, they often find it difficult to remain angry with the Panteater due to his endearing appearance and heartfelt apologies.

"I'm really sorry I eated all your pants. I was just so hungry."

In Reference to Yesterday's Post

I'm almost done with this painting/tedious-as-fuck-border-peeling job I've been doing. It's about damn time! I feel like I've been working on it forever, mostly because I spent most of that time snowed in at my house. Anyway, here is my new plan. Once I get this job finished, I'm going to use part of that money to buy a whole bunch of random art supplies. Then I'm going to just lock myself in my house and make a whole bunch of random shit. I'm just going to try everything and see what I like, what I'm good at, and what people might want to buy. I've had all of these ideas about stuff I want to try for years, but I've never taken the time to do it. Well, now I'm going to. Some of the things I want to try are; clay jewelry, metal jewelry, clay mugs, maybe some other clay sculptures, I also want to try drawing things and then writing some of my poems over the drawings, and I'm going to try to come up with something to do with all of these glass jars I've had lying around ever since the recycling place stopped taking glass. I keep trying to force myself to have a halfway normal life, to go out and do things, to try to have some sort of social life, but the truth is that I suck at that! So now I'm going to give the whole crazy, reclusive, artist thing a try.

Here are the things I've made so far. I know, the flower in the bottom center turned out sort of suspiciously shaped. I still think it looks kind of cool though, so whatever.  

More Unrealistic Life-Goals?

I have spent the majority of the last two week snowed in. For a while, it was driving me absolutely insane being unable to go anywhere. However, I have finally gotten used to it (which is super convenient since the weather is supposed to be clearing up in the next couple of days.) and have actually been making pretty good use of my time (at least by my standards, anyway). I have been working on a lot of different little art projects, and have come up with a ton of ideas that I have yet to put into practice. I made a bunch of different little clay designs that I hope to turn into jewelry in some way or another. I'm also considering using the clay to make various other things; I'm thinking some weird, nerdy, funny-shaped mugs might be a lot of fun. I also wrote a short story the other day, which I may or may not end up posting here. It's very odd and kind of disturbing, so we'll see. If nothing else, I figure it was good practice. I seldom write anything other than these diary-type posts and it was kind of nice to write something with an actual story-line. Anyway, the point of all this is; I'm starting to think that maybe, MAYBE, there is a chance that I could actually turn all of this random shit into a source of income. I'm considering reviving my Etsy shop from a while back and trying to sell some weird art and whatnot.

I mean hey, it worked for Priya. That is, until that crazy rich guy decided to get her sent to The Dollhouse. So it's basically a win/win. 

Today Is a Good Day I Think for Doing Things that Are a Waste of Time

So.....it is currently -5 outside. This fucking sucks! Obviously, I will not be leaving the house for anything that is not absolutely necessary. Also, I don't think I will be working out today since my exercise room still has an air conditioner in one of the windows, and none of the other windows seal properly, and I don't particularly feel like getting frost bite whilst I do yoga. So I think today will be my day for doing all the things that I always want to do but don't do because I feel like there are better uses of my time. I already stayed in bed until 10:00 which, -5 or not, makes me feel like a lazy asshole. I think I will read the rest of American Gods, which I have been working on forever because I never read for more than a few minutes at a time. Perhaps I will also break out my clay and work on some more molds, which may or may not ever be used. Who knows, maybe I'll even get super motivated and write something worthwhile.

Inspiration

For the love of fuck! I have got to find something interesting to do with my time! I keep putting off writing my posts because I keep thinking that an interesting topic will come to me. Then I realize that no interesting topics are coming to me because I don't ever do anything interesting. I mean seriously, what do people do for fun? It doesn't even have to be THAT fun, just kind of fun will do. Just as long as it gives me something to talk about besides TV shows.

14 for 2014

The following is my lists of goals for the next year. Let's start with all the things I didn't manage to get around to this past year, shall we?

1- Do some real activism. Also, write more animal right related posts here.

2- Find a way to make enough money to get by without wishing I were dead.

3- I am going to rephrase the "social skills" one a bit and say that I want to start doing more social activities., and  find, at least, one that I actually enjoy.

4- I still really want to take a martial arts class.

5- I damn well better be able to do a fucking pull up by next year!

6- I AM going to go back to Farm Sanctuary this year, and hopefully back to the Festival of Colors as well.

7- Learn to act like one of those confident girls. Who know, stand up for myself, stand up for my beliefs, talk to people.

8- Learn to make metal jewelry, and hopefully actually sell some.

9- Write more poetry, and hopefully perform it somewhere.

10- Buy a car. A cool one would be nice but, at this point, I would settle for a piece of shit one.

11- Write something more substantial than a blog post. Get another article published? Write for the Flaming Vegan? Work on the "book" I started writing forever ago? Something.

12- I don't know, maybe go on a fucking date or something. Have some sort of romantic type interaction with another human being.

13- Get myself on a real schedule so that maybe I can accomplish half of the things I set out to do, in a given day. Especially get my sleep schedule down, so that I don't start out the day with several less hours than I had planned on.

14- Keep up with my goddamn email! Fucking hell I have so many emails!

In case you didn't notice, I decided to be a bit more vague with some of them this year so that, hopefully, I won't be quite as disappointed with myself next year. 

Happy Solstice! Also, Prelude to the Anniversary Post.

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of this blog. I would like to thank all of you for reading my ridiculous ramblings for a year, and I wanted to do something special for the anniversary but wasn't really sure what to do. So last week I asked for your input and Rachel requested deep dark secrets which, when I really started thinking about it, is fairly difficult because, over the course of the last year, I've told you guys a shit-ton of stuff that I don't normally talk about. I didn't want to disappoint any of my readers so I did finally manage to come up with one last thing that I have yet to confess to you guys, and it will be revealed tomorrow. I'm hoping to make this a really fun post, complete with all the things this blog is known for (or, more accurately, all the things this blog would be known for if it was known at all.) including, but not limited to; me over-sharing and making everyone uncomfortable, lists, and (extra) nerdy images and pop culture references. I hope you like it.

Sorry, It's the Best I've Got

So, I have nothing of any real value to write about today. So I'm going to tell you about this weird-ass dream I had the other night. I was dismantling these strange old ruins that were, for some reason, in my yard. Despite the fact that they appeared to have survived for thousands of years, when I shoved on them the blocks just slid and tumbled to the ground. So I just kept climbing around and shoving blocks off the top edges of the walls. I remember thinking that it was kind of a shame to destroy them, since they were so old and quite beautiful, yet I do not remember why I was doing it in the first place. I also remember thinking that these were Tibetan ruins, which makes very little sense seeing as how my yard is not, in fact, in Tibet.

At least there was no creepy cheese man. As a vegan, I would have been rather offended to have my dreams invaded by the Cheese Man and his dairy-based vestments. 

Quick Question

The one year anniversary of this blog is coming up in just about a week, and I would kind of like to do something special. Unfortunately, I have no idea what that might be. So my question is this; what do you guys want to see? Are there any topics you would like to see discussed? any deep dark secrets you would like to see revealed? any awkward pointless questions you would like to see answered? Just let me know.

Snippets

I kept waiting around to see if I would come up with a good topic for a post today but, alas, I did not. So here are just a few random bits of things I have been thinking about. I may, one day, write full posts about them. However, I am far to uninspired to do it today.

1- I really need to make sure that I get the fuck out of this house everyday. Today the roads were supposedly bad, so I just stayed home. Now my biggest accomplishment for the day has been staying awake.

2- Do you ever get a new book and just feel like it is going to have something really profound to say to you? No real reason for it, just a feeling. I just started American Gods by Neil Gaiman and I definitely have that feeling about it. I hope I'm right; I could seriously use some profound insights right now.

3- My mom and I were talking today about raising your sense of self-worth by making a point to do things that you feel good about and not do things that you feel bad about. I think I have mentioned this before and I do believe that it is a good idea. However, I realized today that, while it will most likely raise your sense of self-worth, I'm not sure that it will improve your overall quality of life because you will end up doing a lot more things that you don't like doing. Like dishes, and laundry.

4- I have developed this intense aversion to noise lately. I think it was cause by overexposure. None of the animals in this house ever, EVER, shut the fuck up. Ever.

5- Is it just me, or do other people always run out of everything all at the same time? I actually managed to save my last check from Goodwill and I was all excited because I thought I would actually have money to buy halfway decent Christmas presents this year. Then I suddenly realized that I need to buy everything I ever use!

It seems like it's going to be a really good book. 

Maybe I'm Being Unreasonable?

Remember the whole online dating thing? Well, I have been talking to this one guy for around two weeks now, and he seemed pretty cool. Yesterday, he gave me his real email address (as opposed to the one through Vegan Passions). I was actually really happy about it, because I felt like that meant that things were progressing. So I emailed him and was all excited waiting for him to email me back. Then, the first official email I get from him makes me think "Yeah, this is not going to go anywhere." He is a self-proclaimed "music snob" which is fine, as long as he doesn't act all condescending about my taste in music, which he kind of did. Another thing that pissed me off  in this email was that he asked me if I was finished with school. Which, as you all know, I'm not. However, I am 26 so most people would assume that I am either finished with college or that I didn't go. The fact that he asked about it kind of made me feel like what he really wanted to ask was "So you're not really planning on being a cashier forever, right?" And I hope I don't end up being a cashier forever, but if I do, I would hope that he would be able to respect me anyway. I don't really feel like he would. Also, I feel comfortable bitching about him here because, despite the fact that I mentioned my writing at least twice, he didn't ask about it. If I met someone I was interested in and I found out that they wrote a blog, I would be dying to read it and find out how their mind works. Not him.

I swear, it seems like every person who ever shows an interest in me, is only interested in me in theory. When I actually start talking about myself they zone out, which is really weird in this case because I basically outlined my entire personality on my profile. It kind of makes me wonder if he even bothered to read the damn thing.

Get it? Because she seemed really nice and like she was really interested in Sam, then it turned out that she was actually a demon. (Unfair?) 

It's the Most Important Part of the Story, the Ending

For quite some time now, I have been thinking that I would like to write a book. Specifically, I've been thinking that I would like to write a memoir. I know what you're thinking "That's a stupid idea! You're always talking about how your life is super boring!" and, yes, you are right. However, despite how bored I am with my life right now, if I cut out all the boring parts and only cover the most interesting things from my entire life in a relatively short book, I think it could be rather compelling. I actually have had some rather unique and unusual experiences, that some people might actually care to hear about. Here's the problem; I have no idea how I would end such a book. I feel like anyone who might read it would want some sort of resolution at the end, and there is absolutely no aspect of my life which has been resolved. I feel like I have to do something, or be something, or at least figure out something before I can write a book about my life. At this point, I feel like if anyone actually read my life to the end they would get to the last page and yell "What the fuck was that!" and throw the book across the room. So come on, Powers That Be, give me some sort of epiphany so I can write my fucking book.

Check it out, you guys. We have the same hair. 

You Really Don't Have to Read This One.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. I need to write something. Blah, blah. It's five in the morning and I have to get ready for work. Blah, blah, blah. I should have gone to get my check on Friday because now I want to order silly things online and can't because I don't have enough money. Blah, blah. My brain doesn't work this early in the morning. Blah. This morning I set my clock for 4:00 and woke up at 3:59. Kind of weird. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, this post was a waste of all of our time. Sorry.

The Power of Words

I haven't said much about it for a while, but I've still been reading up on Wicca. The more I find out about it, the more I like it. I like the polytheistic aspect of it. I love the emphasis on a connection to nature and the idea that we are able to interact with the planet's energies in a meaningful way. I think the thing that I like the most though, is the focus on the power of words. The whole idea behind a spell is that the right combination of words can actually create an energy force that can cause a desired outcome. When you think about it, isn't that the point of writing? To find the specific combination of words that  has the greatest effect? I just started reading The Deep Heart of Witchcraft (my third book on the subject) by David Salisbury, who happens to be a gay, vegan witch (YES!). When I found him it sort of dispelled any reservation I had about Wicca after reading The Witches' Way. The authors of The Witches' Way put a LOT of emphasis on the importance of the male/female polarity and the whole thing seemed rather discriminatory to me. They also talked about non-humans as having a lower form of soul with no individual consciousness (bullshit!). Anyway to get back on topic, there is a quote right in the very beginning of David's book which says "When we write something down, we're affirming the thought in our heads to the physical world, bringing it into being. In that sense, every act of writing is an act of magick and should be treated as such." Love it!

Happy 200th Post!

That's right, I have done this 200 times now. I don't know if you find that hard to believe, but I do. I keep thinking "How the fuck did I come up with something to say 200 separate times?" Then I remember that half of what I write about is completely ridiculous and the other half is about TV shows. Then I go "Really? Only 200?" Anyway, I wanted to do something really cool and exciting to commemorate this momentous occasion but I couldn't come up with anything.............So here's a Tordis.

You're welcome.