I'm Not Even Being Sarcastic This Time!

Do you guys remember, way back when, when T.O.F.U magazine published an article that I wrote? Well, they've decided to do a book collecting the best articles from past issues......and they want to include mine! I'm pretty excited about it; it's nice to know that someone considered my writing good enough to be included in a "best of" anything collection. The only problem is that they want me to write an update to go with it and, unfortunately, I have made little to no actual progress in my life since I wrote the article. So yeah, I'm going to have to think up a way to say "My life is still a complete and utter mess" in a way that doesn't sound pathetic.

Also, I totally just realized that I forgot to link to the album for my Typhoid Mary shoot. Be sure you "like"

my sister's photography page while you're there!

Several Fails and a Win

Well, I have really been on a roll this week, let me tell you.

1- I have now missed two posts within one week.
2- I have now put off my animal rightsy post for so many days that it now doesn't really seem worth posting one. I think I'll just wait until this Friday.
3- The guy who sells the hot peppers wasn't at the farmers market, so there will be no reaper video this week.
4- I bought an epilator (if you don't know what that is, because I didn't, it's basically a bunch of tweezers hooked up to a motor that pulls your hair out). That in itself isn't too much of a fail, aside from the fact that I really couldn't afford such a thing, but the fact that so far all it has done is remove about half of the hairs in a given area and give me a horrible looking rash is. I'm going to keep using it for a while anyway though, because I paid too damn much for the thing to give up on it that easily.



Now for the one win.

1- The Typhoid Mary pictures cam out really great!

Now That's More Like It!

Last night at Aikido, we worked a little but on the stuff that we had done before. But we also did a few new things including....working with swords! This is very exciting because 1- I love swords and have always wanted to actually learn how to use one. 2- For some reason, I picked this part up much faster than everything else. Every other thing we learn I having to keep doing over and over, and still end up using the wrong hand or foot or whatever half the time. The sword combination though, we went over twice and I pretty much had it. So yeah, that made me feel a little less incompetent.

It was kind of like this, but with way less touching.

Ⓥ Abusive Relationship

Someone in one of the vegan groups I follow on Facebook posted a video, a while back, that really got me thinking about body image in our culture. I know I've talked about this before ( a few times, I think) but, hopefully, this is a slightly different perspective on it. I shared the video at the bottom of the page; you should definitely check it out, if you have a chance. 

The basic idea of the video was that there are all of these video bloggers who are promoting unhealthy ideas about body image, and telling girls how to lose weight in unhealthy ways. They condone everything from extreme calorie restriction to diet pills, and pretend that these things are totally acceptable. The video also points out that many of the followers of these blogs are very young and these women are helping them to develop destructive habits very early in life that are likely to cause serious health problems later on. 

I have heard this argument many times before, that our culture puts too much pressure on women, and especially young girls, to be skinny and that it creates a whole society of women who hate their bodies. This video had a slightly different take on it though. Instead of just telling us to love our bodies as they are, he recommends a different set of bloggers who offered advice on healthy ways to take care of your body. These people tell us to eat better food, not less food, and advise their followers to keep their bodies healthy, not skinny. 

I think this is something that needs to be discussed more often. It seems like our culture has two setting, when it comes to body image. There is the group that tells you that you need to be skinny, and there is the side that tells you to "love your body". Well, I agree wholeheartedly that we should love our bodies, but I feel like that means something else to me than it does to most people. It seems like a lot of people who claim to "love" their bodies, don't really do a whole lot to take care of them. 

To me, claiming to love your body while depriving it of the things it needs, like healthy food and exercise, sounds an awful lot like an abusive relationship. Saying "I love you" while abusing or neglecting the one you claim to love is not really love. If we truly want to love our bodies, we should absolutely stop starving them and hating them for not looking the way we want them to, but we should also do what is necessary to keep them healthy, like giving them proper nutrients and exercise and not filling them up with foods full of chemicals, grease, sugars, cholesterol, and other nasty things. 

Another thing to consider when talking about loving your body is the fact that our bodies aren't these separate things that we can observe from a distance. Our bodies are us. Whether you believe there is more to us than our physical bodies or not, I think we can all agree that, at least for the duration of our lifetime, we are inextricably tied to our bodies. So loving your body, also involves loving yourself as a whole. To me, this means being the kind of person who I can love; doing what I know is right. 

As far as I'm concerned, giving my body what it needs to be healthy and giving myself what I need to feel good about the person I am (mostly) come down to the same thing, veganism. Animal based foods are bad for our bodies, our minds, and our souls. They contribute to (if not outright cause) a multitude of illnesses, force us to ignore the basic facts about these products to justify continuing to eat them, and cause a sense of guilt and shame that we may not acknowledge but is there just the same. 

So, please check out the video and think about your own feelings about your body. You can decide for yourself what it truly means to "love your body" but try to remember how you express love in any other situation. Then ask yourself if the relationship you have with your body is really one of love or of abuse. 

Coming Soon to a Computer Screen Near You

I just thought I would give you guys a heads up on some things that I have planned for this blog in the near future.

1- Starting next week I will be posting a series of videos (which, by the way, are much better quality than my regular videos because my sister helped me with them) of me "reviewing" a selection of ridiculously hot peppers. The will include a ghost pepper, and at least two that are hotter than the ghost pepper. So yeah, hopefully you guys will get some amusement from my pain.

2- I think I can now say with confidence that my new body weight exercises are working! I'm pretty pleased with the results I've been getting, especially since I was half afraid I was going to end up losing the results I had gotten from my workout with the sandbags. Because of this, I wanted to get some new pictures taken, and my sister has agreed to take them for me. You guys probably don't care about this, but I'm kind of looking forward to them. I think I might get kind of ridiculous with them this time, do some crazy shit.

3- Okay, so I have this idea.......I can't decide if I'm actually going to go through with it or not. I feel like it could be fun, or it could just be really fucking embarrassing. I think I've mentioned a few times how I've always wanted to try acting, but never really had the opportunity? Well, at this point I think I can safely say that's never going to happen. I still think it would be fun though. So I had this idea that I might make some fake audition videos for parts that I would want to play. I don't know though...........maybe.....maybe......

Peach ghost pepper ^

I Think I'm Starting to Get the Hang of This

I went to my second Aikido class last night, and I really think I'm going to like it. We worked on some of the stuff that we did last week and, while I didn't actually remember how to do any of it, I definitely picked it up faster this time than last time. So hopefully that means that I'm retaining at least some of it.

We also did several new things, and it seems like most of the basic movements are pretty much the same; you just use them in different ways. So I feel like, once I really get those few basic moves down, I'll be able to improve much more quickly. Also, the sensei told me that I'm doing very well, so that made me feel pretty good about the whole thing. 

One thing we did that was not similar to anything else was "rolling" which is....exactly what it sounds like. We learned how to dive at the floor (backward and forward) and roll over back to a standing or kneeling position. I had actually practiced this before (you know, because I'm a dumbass) and, though this was a little different than the way I had been doing it because it was at an angle instead of straight over my head, I still feel like I got it quicker than I would have otherwise. According to my friend who invited me to the class in the first place, I am exceptionally quiet when I do it......I don't know..... maybe that's something that comes from practicing this kind of shit while living with other people? You eventually learn to slam yourself into the floor without waking the person sleeping in the next room, or disturbing the person watching TV downstairs. Or maybe I'm just that stealthy. 

The Vocalizing Vegan (Video)

As promised, here is my singing video. I decided to film myself singing whist folding laundry because when I tried filming myself singing into the camera, I looked fucking terrified. After all, this is the first time I have, intentionally, allowed another human to hear me sing since I was......I don't even know......ten?........twelve maybe? I sing around the animals all the time, the cats seem to enjoy it, the pigs don't really seem to give a shit, nut not around humans. Anyway, since I seem to be utterly incapable of judging my own abilities, please let me know whether or not I should continue to stick with my policy of singing exclusively for nonhumans.

Remember, this is that song that got stuck in my head for twelve years?

What Would You Do If I Sang Out of Tune?

This is something I've been thinking about doing pretty much ever since I started the video blog, but every time I start to do it, I pussy out. You know how I have said multiple times that I pretty much sing all the time, when I'm alone? But that I never sing in front of other people, because I really have no idea if I can sing or not? Furthermore, how one of the things on my bucket list is to sing in front of people? Well, I think I am going to sing in a video, and let you guys tell me, once and for all, whether I suck or not. I'm serious, I want honest opinions. I mean you don't have to berate me or anything, but a letter grade or a scale of 1 to 10 would be great! I will also settle for a thumb-up vs thumb-down, or pass/fail. Just so I'll finally know.

So lend me your ears (on Wednesday) and I'll sing you a song. And if I sing out of key, please tell me so I don't embarrass myself in the future! Also, I'm now half tempted to sing this ^ song, just because at least then it might be kind of funny if I suck. I probably won't though; I'm actually leaning toward Just Before It Gets Dark.

Lazy-ish

I know I've talked about this before, but I don't have anything better to talk about, so I'll just reiterate. I'm so lazy, in the most ridiculous ways! I will put absurd amounts of effort into certain things, but other things (that require far less effort) get completely ignored. It seems like I'm really good at making myself do things as long as I do them everyday, but things that only need to be done occasionally get put off for-fucking-ever. I literally have to make myself do things every day, even if they don't need to be done every day, just to make sure they get done at all. For example, my nails haven't been painted for like two weeks now, simply because I haven't bothered with them. I hate the way my hands look without polish, but not enough to actually paint them. It's not even so much the painting that bugs me, as the waiting for them to dry. It's just so fucking inconvenient! I need to be able to use my hands! I don't have the patience to wait around for my damn nails to dry.

At this point, I'm actually starting to get used to the no polish look.

Stop Me If This Stupid

You know how I was talking the other day about how there is now a tattoo place in Pittsburgh that does vegan tattoos? Well, I really think I am going to try to get an appointment soon (despite the fact that I really can't afford a tattoo right now). I haven't been able to get a new tattoo for so long! and I have all of these ideas for ones that I want to get. Some of them I have been wanting for years. However, I have this new idea that I've been thinking about lately, and I'm pretty excited about it. So I just thought I would get input from you guys before I decide to go through with it. So here's the idea, You know my "vegan" tattoo on my forearm? (If you don't, there's a picture of it in the post I linked to above.) Well, I want to get one on the opposite arm that looks sort of like a reflection of the other one. Instead of "vegan" though, I want this one to say "volatile" and I want the animals to look less cutesy and more.....not scary.... but......maybe sort of threatening. Like, maybe the cow could have horns, and the pig could have tusks, the chicken could have a longer beak and a bigger comb. I'm not really sure what to do with the rabbit though, I don't know how you make a rabbit look threatening? Maybe just make him a little darker and sleeker looking? Anyway, what do you guys think? Dumb idea?

Image by LanWu at Deviant Art

Ⓥ Vegan Tattoos

I know this probably isn't a major concern for most people, but one of the only things that has been a real struggle for me, since going vegan, has been getting tattoos. I love tattoos, I always have. I think I first started talking about getting one when I was around twelve, and I got my first one when I was sixteen. After that I got an average of about one per year. That is, until I learned that tattoo ink is usually not vegan. At that time, the idea that my tattoos might have animal derivatives never even crossed my mind (Of course, I know better now. Pretty much everything has animal derivatives, unless otherwise specified.)

After I found out about the ink, getting a tattoo went from being something exciting and enjoyable to a huge ordeal that required a lot of planning and hassle. Most larger cities seem to have at least one or two vegan tattoo artists, and some even have whole vegan studios. Where I live though, vegan tattoo ink is just not something that people even consider. For my first two tattoos, after learning the truth about the ink, I drove all the way to Columbus Ohio to find a vegan artist. It was a several hour drive, but it was still worth it to me. Unfortunately, the artist ended up moving to Canada, and I was back to square one.

I finally realized that some studios may just not advertise vegan ink, because there are still a lot of people out there who think that veganism is wimpy, and that sort of clashes with the whole tattoo culture. So I started calling around to different studios and asking them if they had any vegan ink. I eventually found one guy in Pittsburgh who did. I managed to get one tattoo from him before he too disappeared. That was several years ago and I had not located another vegan artist anywhere closer to me than New York City, until yesterday. There is now a tattoo studio called, Rogue Tattoo, in Pittsburgh which advertises on it's website that one of the artists does vegan tattoos! It may not make a lot of sense, but this is incredibly exciting for me. Tattoos are a part of who I am, and knowing that I finally have a place I can go to get new ones is a huge relief to me.

By the way, for anyone who is wondering what makes tattoo ink unsuitable for vegans, the base is glycerin which is generally derived from animal fat. Also, many places use "bone black" which, supposedly, provides a deeper black color but is made from bone char.

My tattoo, splattered with chalk at the color festival. 

Comic Women

I know I pretty much always seem to have a slightly different perspective on feminist issues than pretty much anybody else.....well here's another one. I know a lot of people are pissed off about the way women are portrayed in comics (see the Hawkeye Initiative), and I can see where they're coming from. The truth is though, I kind of love it.

Don't get me wrong, some of the poses are pretty over-the-top, but the fact that there is someplace where women who are strong are also seen as sexy seems like a good thing to me. Yeah, they all wear skimpy little outfits (which is kind of ridiculous) but then again, all the guys wear spandex (which is equally ridiculous). They are also very strong though, like as strong as the guys, and (here's my favorite part!) at least in most cases they are actually drawn to look like they are as strong as they are.

I have always thought that "strong" women in movies and TV tend to not look very strong. The problem is that they are subject to Hollywood's beauty standards and therefore are basically required to be thin and feminine looking. As far as I know, comic are the only place where female characters can not only be as strong as male characters but also actually look as strong as the male characters. Plus, the guys in comics are okay with the women being as strong and muscular as they are, which I don't think happens often anywhere else. So yeah, I think a few dumb looking poses are worth it to have strong women be seen as a good thing.  

Typhoid Mary is crazy as fuck, but she's also really tough and muscular and all the guys are really into her, despite the fact that she's always kicking the shit out of them (at least that's the case in the Deadpool comics I've been reading).

Vegan Super Power; Not Getting Tired

Last night was my last class until August. The New Instructor is leaving for the summer, and apparently they couldn't find anyone to cover the Friday class. I guess I'm just going to have to find some other way to get out my aggression for the next month and a half.

Anyway, it was a good note to end on. It was the most intense class we've had for a while. There were two other guys there, plus the Instructor, and we kept alternating partners so I got a chance to work with him a little on each thing we did. All of the students, myself included, always sort of take it easy on each other, but he doesn't really (I mean, I'm sure he does, but not as much as the rest of us). So I always feel like I get a much better workout with him than with the other students.

We worked on blocking punches for a little while and then spent the rest of the class on kicks. We kept a really fast pace the whole time, so we got a lot more work in than we usually do. At the end, the Instructor joked that he was going to make me keep working because I was the only one who didn't look totally worn out. I was still real fucking sweaty though. I think I get much more of a self-esteem boost from stuff like that than I probably should.

I got some pretty nice bruises too, on both hips from holding pads for kicks and this ^ really weird one on my wrist because I'm a dumbass and left my bracelet on under my gloves while blocking punches.

Ⓥ Tips and Tricks Part 2; Non-Food Products

As a follow-up to last week's post, I also wanted to share some of my favorite animal-friendly products and brands. I know how incredibly frustrating it can be to find good products that also fit with your beliefs, so I thought I would offer a few suggestions.

1- Naturally, the first step in buying cruelty-free products, is identifying them. I have found that a lot of people don't realize that unless something specifies right on the label that it isn't tested on animals it almost certainly is tested on animals. The easiest way I have found to identify companies as cruelty-free, or not, is with PETA's list. It's quite extensive and, as far as I know, they keep it pretty up-to-date.

2- As with vegan foods, cruelty-free body care, and beauty products can be expensive and hard to find. So again I will recommend Vitacost and iHerb. For things that can't be found at either of those places, Amazon is usually my go-to.

3- If you still can't afford to buy the fancy vegan products, it is possible get generic cruelty-free
products. Food Lion's store brands are not tested on animals. Though they are not necessarily vegan, this is still a huge step in the right direction, and they offer a wide selection of products, from health and beauty to cleaning supplies.

4- My all-time favorite brand of hair dye is Surya. It is certified vegan and cruelty-free, natural (henna based), and actually good for your hair. Plus it comes in some really beautiful shades. If you try it though, make sure you get the cream, not the powder. I haven't tried this particular brand in powder form, but all of the other henna powders I have used were a huge pain, and the cream is super convenient. Also, you should be aware that the box tells you to leave it on for up to an hour but, since it's actually beneficial for your hair and you get better results the longer you leave it on, I just put it on with a cap over it before I go to bed and leave it overnight. I have yet to find a color that didn't come out amazing with this technique.

5- If you want a more intense hair color, I recommend Manic Panic. They are cruelty-free and at least most of their products are vegan; supposedly there are some that aren't, but I can't seem to find out which ones. I will warn you though, their colors do fade a lot, and they really only work if you bleach your hair first. And, again, the longer you leave the colors on, the better (like overnight). If you want the white-blonde look though, you can't beat Manic Panic's Flash Lightening. I used the 40 volume, and it was much more effective and slightly less harsh than any other bleach I've tried. Also, I found that to keep the blonde white, instead of yellow, mixing a drop or two of Ultraviolet into my conditioner worked really well.

6- I absolutely love Sarawen's perfumes! I have tried quite a few of them and have yet to find one that didn't smell wonderful! My favorite, at the moment is Chocolat Rose, though the Ambrosia Chocolat is a close second (I don't know, I guess I just like smelling like foods that I don't eat). The scents are all vegan and cruelty-free, and she donates some of the proceeds to animal charities. Plus, it's just fun to shop for her perfumes, because most of them are inspired by fictional characters.

7- Speaking of good smells, Crazy Rumors lip balm is absolutely amazing! It comes in tons of great scents, and it works better than any other lip balm I have tried (even before I went vegan). Plus, they are another completely vegan company.

8- I will admit, I'm not as good with makeup as some girls (like my sister) are, so my opinion here may not be worth as much as in other ares, but I really like e.l.f.. They are ridiculously affordable (like nearly everything is between $1 and $3) and, for as much as I can do with makeup, they work as well as any other brand I've tried. They are cruelty-free and, while they are not vegan certified, I did find this correspondence from e.l.f. in response to a question asked by Cruelty Free Kitty "All ingredients used in e.l.f. cosmetics are vegan friendly, safe and meet F.D.A requirements." 

9- As some of you may know, I have had issues with acne my entire life and I have finally gotten it (mostly) under control. I'm sure that a lot of that has to do with my overall lifestyle being so much healthier these days, but I also think that a big part of it has been due to Dr. Woods Shea Vision soap. I have been using it as hand soap, body wash, and face wash for months now and my skin has never been better. Dr. Woods products are all cruelty-free and, as far as I can tell, they are all vegan.

10- Along with my acne issues, I have also always had problems with dry skin (and dry hair). Coconut Oil has all but fixed this problem for me. I use it on my face, body, and hair, and it has made my skin incredibly soft. I have given up any ideas about my hair ever being soft (since it seems to be made of cactus needles) but the coconut oil definitely helps keep it more manageable.

So, there are my favorite products. I hope they make life a little easier for someone out there.

My new hair color, Surya in "mahogany". Also, lots of e.l.f. products. Also, almost everything else on this list.

Another Poem Video (Ban-Gaisgedaig)

Here is my new video of my poem, Ban-Gaisgedaig. I really need to find a better place to film these things than on my mom's couch. Also, I got kind of lazy this time and decided to read the thing instead of memorizing it, sorry about that. 

By the way, if anyone actually has any idea how to pronounce that word I would love to know! I found it online so I've never heard it said, and it's Celtic so I know it wouldn't just be pronounced the way it's spelled. 

Let's Get the Ball Rolling

Seeing as how I'm supposed to be getting all of these changes in my life, I might as well start with my hair. We all knew this was coming, right? Once I start getting the urge to change something, it's only a matter if time. I've decided I'm going back to my old standard; I've had red hair for most of my life, and I miss it. Honestly, I've been thinking of going back for months now. The biggest reason I haven't done it already is because I've been wearing a lot of green lately and I thought it would look weird with red hair, plus my sister told me I would "look like Christmas". Well, I did an image search for red hair green clothes, and you know what? I think it looks really fucking cool!

Plus, you remember when I said I wanted to look like Liv from iZombie? Well, I tried growing my hair out a little so it would look more like her's, and that looked horrible. So I've been trying the whole faux-hawk thing. Then I (accidentally) got a tan, and it suddenly hit me the other day that I look exactly like Blaine! (He's the bad zombie who runs the butcher shop) and I simply cannot let this continue. So yeah, back to red.....just as soon as my henna gets here.

^Not okay. 

Sexiest Vegan Next Door Contest

Okay, so I decided to enter PETA's Sexiest Vegan Next Door Contest. I know it's kind of stupid but, I don't know, I thought it might be kind of fun. Every year, PETA send out their announcement about the contest, and every year I think "You know what? That sounds like it might be kind of fun." Well, this year I realized that if I wait much longer I'm going to feel too old to enter without feeling weird about it. So, fuck it! I'm doing it. Anyway, my sister does photography so I got her to take some pictures for me today. She is excellent and you should "Like" her Facebook page. Also, let me know which picture you think I should use for the contest. I'm currently leaning toward this one.

Halp!

As you may have noticed (if you live in the same area I do) it was actually halfway warm outside today. Some of the snow even started to melt! It was so nice to actually be able to go outside without immediately feeling my nose hairs freeze that I started thinking about all the things I want to do once the snow completely melts. Here's the problem though, I couldn't actually come up with anything. I seriously need to get a fucking life, like now! I can't spend every second of every day hanging around the house. I just can't! Furthermore, the only social contact I've really had, for the past I don't even know how long, has been my immediate family. Don't get me wrong I do love them and everything, but I swear to fuck, if I don't get some sort of interaction with someone who fucking gets me and doesn't constantly make me feel like shit about myself soon, I'm going to snap! So here's my question for you. Where should I go to interact with other people? Also, how do I interact with other people?

I'm fairly certain this is what I look like every time I try to talk to other humans. 

In Conclusion

Seriously, just this one last thing and then I'll move on, at least for a while. There is this idea that seems to be fairly common, that things like wearing makeup and shaving your legs are inherently somewhat oppressive to women. I disagree. To be honest, I can't really decide who got the short end of the stick on the whole makeup thing. I mean, yeah it kind of sucks that women are expected to look all perfect all the time. When I think about it though, I'm pretty glad that I get to wear makeup. I feel so much better about myself with it and, if I were a guy, I wouldn't be able to get away with wearing it. As girls, we get to basically paint ourselves to look however we want. Guys are pretty much stuck with what they've got. Unless, of course, they're actors.  

Okay, so Supernatural is not exactly the most feminist show on TV. Holy fuck do I love it though!  

Also, I think instead of women not shaving their legs, guys should have to start shaving theirs. I mean come one guys, body hair is pretty gross; and I, for one, don't want to touch anybody who is all furry anymore than you do. Just saying. 

And Another Thing....

To continuing the discussion from last night, another thing that I don't really agree with about our society's current idea about feminism is this whole "body acceptance" movement. I mean, the idea behind it is great and all, but I think we're going about it in entirely the wrong way.

It seems to me that telling women to accept their bodies just as they are is sort of the opposite of empowering. Let me explain. The problem with our ideas about our bodies (at least in my humble opinion) is not that we want to change them; changing our bodies requires will-power, hard work, dedication, commitment, all of these are good things. The problem is that we want to change our bodies into what society tells us they should be. I see absolutely no problem with people wanting to be the best they can in every way. We should not be telling women to accept their bodies as they are, we should be telling them to make their bodies what they want them to be. I think there is a great sense of empowerment that comes from watching your body change and become better due to your hard work. That is something that we should be cultivating, not discouraging.

I, personally, don't believe that I will ever stop trying to improve my body; I'm just not the type of person who is ever really completely satisfied with anything. That in no way means that I don't appreciate the progress I have made though. I feel good about all the work that I have done, and all the benefits I have gained from it. This is not because I look the way society tells me I should (because I don't look the way society tells me I should) but because I look more and more the way I want to everyday. I feel that, instead of telling each other to accept our bodies the way they are, we should be telling each other to decide who we want to be, and do whatever it takes to be that. Myself, I'm sort of going for the "warrior woman" look.

"Have you ever been with a warrior woman?"