Flying Pigs Jewelry Lives!

I finally got some things posted in my Etsy store! Including four ceramic pendants, and the Panteater. I know it's quite unlikely that anyone will want to buy him, but I just had to post him anyway. So yeah, if you're interested in some weird clay stuff, you should check out my store. In the next day or so, I plan to get at least a couple of the utility belts on there too. So keep an eye out for that. Also, apparently, the best way to get more views on your blog posts is to include half-naked pictures of yourself. Yesterday's post got almost twice as many views as I generally get. Go figure.

For Real This Time

I really am working on getting my Etsy store back up and running. Hopefully I will have some things listed in the next couple of days. I tried to list some things today but (shockingly!) our internet cut out while I was working on them. On a related note, last night, I spent a ridiculously long time drawing a picture to use for the new banner on my Etsy page. It turned out fairly shitty by most people's standards, but for me it was pretty decent. I'm actually sort of proud of it. Then I tried to put it on my page and it ended up all cut in half so you can't actually tell what it is. Hopefully I will get that figured out soon too. Anyway, here it is in it's original, non-goofily-cropped format.

Sometimes I Actually Do Stuff

So, I'm putting a hold on the whole metalworking idea for a little while. I'm really not giving up on it entirely but, for the time being, I'm going to try making jewelry out of the clay itself. I finally manged to finish a few of the pieces, and I kind of like some of them the way they are. Also, precious metals are expensive as fuck and I figure its better to make things out of good clay rather than shitty metal.

I also made a few of those utility belts I was telling you guys about, and they turned out pretty decent . I'll post pictures of them sometime soon. 

Anyway, my point here is; I'm actually getting some stuff done and I plan on trying to get some things back in my abandoned Etsy shop in the very near future. 

Here are the ones I'm fairly pleased with. 

I Made a Thing

So, I have been experimenting with making random things out of clay, just to see what I might be good at and/or enjoy. Well, the other day I made what was supposed to be a pig. Instead, it turned out as more of a panteater; a little bit pig, but mostly anteater. I decided that such a creature really needed a back story, so I made one up for him.

 The Panteater is a cunning creature who, though mostly harmless, can be highly inconvenient. He will sneak into your home while you sleep and, though causing no physical harm to anyone, will eat any and all pants within the home. Despite the great deal of frustration this causes when everyone wakes up the next morning to find that they suddenly posses not a single pair of pants, they often find it difficult to remain angry with the Panteater due to his endearing appearance and heartfelt apologies.

"I'm really sorry I eated all your pants. I was just so hungry."

Be a Rabbit

I actually started thinking about this after the new Supernatural episode on Tuesday during which Dean, once again, mentioned his aversion to "rabbit food". I think this is something that most vegetarians or vegans have heard at one point or another. I've certainly heard it enough. Omnivores like to refer to plat-based foods as rabbit food in this condescending way, that implies that it is somehow not sufficient for humans. Like "Oh, I could never eat that rabbit food." Or, better yet, imply that we are somehow less capable than them because we do eat it. Like "How can you survive on that rabbit food?" Well, here's the thing that I don't think they realize; rabbits are actually pretty fucking badass when you think about it. Rabbits are;

1- Fast- They can run up to 35 MPH and frequently outrun the carnivores who are trying to eat them.
2- Strong- They can jump more than 36 inches.
3- Sexy- People don't talking about "breeding like rabbits" for nothing.
4- Determined- Have you ever tried to pick up a rabbit who didn't want to be picked up?
5- Smart, the know how to escape from all the many creatures who are always trying to eat them.
6- Energetic- Unlike most carnivores, who pretty much sleep anytime they are not actively hunting, rabbits almost never stop moving.

So here's my question; why is it that people think it's better to be like the big animal with the sharp teeth and claws, who is always killing smaller animals, than to be like the little animal who, despite his small size and lack of sharp claws and teeth, stands up to the big animal on a daily basis? Furthermore, why is it considered a bad thing for us to eat the diet that allows this amazing little creature to do these things? The point is this; we should all be so lucky as to be more like rabbits, and the next time someone tells me I'm eating rabbit food I'm going to say "Thank you."

This is my depiction of a, sort of, post-apocalyptic warrior rabbit. Note the double Samurai swords, pierced ears, and veganarchy tattoo. 

Enough Already!

Sorry there was no post yesterday. You see, it was raining so Hughesnet took the day off. Of course, today we are completely buried under a mountain of snow but apparently Hughesnet doesn't mind snow. I guess I should be grateful that it's rain, and not snow, that scares our internet away because if I were snowed into the house and didn't have any internet access I can guarantee that bad things would happen. Anyway, with or without internet, this snow is really getting to be absurd. I mean seriously, what is the fucking deal this year? This is more snow than I think I have ever seen, other than when I was in Watkins Glen. So, to whoever is responsible for this sort of thing; can we get over this snow bullshit and move on now please? Thanks.

This is Avo stuck in a snow drift, by the way. 

In Reference to Yesterday's Post

I'm almost done with this painting/tedious-as-fuck-border-peeling job I've been doing. It's about damn time! I feel like I've been working on it forever, mostly because I spent most of that time snowed in at my house. Anyway, here is my new plan. Once I get this job finished, I'm going to use part of that money to buy a whole bunch of random art supplies. Then I'm going to just lock myself in my house and make a whole bunch of random shit. I'm just going to try everything and see what I like, what I'm good at, and what people might want to buy. I've had all of these ideas about stuff I want to try for years, but I've never taken the time to do it. Well, now I'm going to. Some of the things I want to try are; clay jewelry, metal jewelry, clay mugs, maybe some other clay sculptures, I also want to try drawing things and then writing some of my poems over the drawings, and I'm going to try to come up with something to do with all of these glass jars I've had lying around ever since the recycling place stopped taking glass. I keep trying to force myself to have a halfway normal life, to go out and do things, to try to have some sort of social life, but the truth is that I suck at that! So now I'm going to give the whole crazy, reclusive, artist thing a try.

Here are the things I've made so far. I know, the flower in the bottom center turned out sort of suspiciously shaped. I still think it looks kind of cool though, so whatever.  

What's In a Name?

I think I might keep my weird little blob creature around for a while. I kind of like her. But if she is going to be my new blog mascot, she is going to need a name. I was thinking, she kind of turned out looking like the Adipose, from Doctor Who. So I considered calling her Posi. Then I realized that, since I drew her, she is obviously plant-based fat. So I asked myself "What is a really fatty plant?" then I thought "Avocados!" So her name is Avo (pronounced ah-voe). Who knows, if I get better at this whole drawing thing, I might even invest in a notebook with no lines, oooohhhhhh.

I have clearly lost my mind. 

You May Be Right. I May Be Crazy.

In fact, I'm quite certain of it.

You know how yesterday I said that, when I know I don't have to do anything, I come up with all these crazy ideas? and how I have mentioned before that when I get too much sleep I get all spastic? Well, when you combine the two you get a fairly dangerous combination of insane creativity and unmanageable energy. Which is what happened yesterday, and again today. I did manage to actually do some productive things yesterday, but I also did some kind of nutty things. For example, cut my hair. It's not so much that I cut my hair, it did need cut, it's how I did it. I recently bought one of those straight razors they sometimes use in salons, and I've used it the last several times I cut my hair. It works really well actually, but it's not something that one should necessarily use when she is in a strange, manic, obsessive state. The results were a decent looking, if messy, haircut and multiple cuts on my hands from all the aimless slashing. I also decided that I want to draw some of my own images for this blog (I give this idea about a week, due to the fact that I will eventually remember that I absolutely cannot draw). So yesterday I did several really poor drawings, and this morning I drew this weird little pole dancing blob creature.

She won't let her complete lack of a form stand in the way of her dream of being a stripper (apparently).