Flexibility (Video)

Since I've already posted most of the rest of my workout routine, I thought I would go ahead and film my flexibility stuff. I filmed it with my back to the mirror, because I thought you would be able to see the reflection and tell what I was doing, but that didn't work. Oh well. Also, I hadn't realized what a very different color my legs are from my upper body. Oh well again. 

 

The Most Supernatural Thing

There is this running joke in the Supernatural fandom that the most supernatural thing on the show is the fact that Sam gets wifi wherever he goes. Personally, I think it's actually how easily they dig up graves. Then again, cemetery dirt probably isn't as full of rocks and roots as my yard is, but still.

In case you hadn't guessed what I was getting at here, I worked on my ditch again today. I dug for about an hour, until I was utterly drenched in sweat (since it was upwards of 90 degrees today), and then said "fuck it!" I think I'm about halfway done. The rest of it may go a little quicker because I think I'm almost out of the really rooty/rocky part.....almost. Then there is still the other ditch to dig. Awesome. Anyway, digging is bullshit and Sam and Dean make it look way too fucking easy.

I wanted the image of these two guys digging up a grave and talking about how Supernatural makes it seem so easy, but apparently it doesn't exist. So this one will have to do.

Hell of a Workout

Well, I think I did enough physical labor over the weekend that I should be able to count it as my workout for the rest of the week (of course, I won't ....but I should). On Friday I helped put up hay, yesterday I dug a ditch for the water to my camper, then today my dad and I started work on the pump house.

The hay went pretty smoothly. That is, until a drunk guy decided to park his truck directly in the middle of the road and then get out and walk away! Apparently, this guy and a woman in another vehicle met on the road and, as opposed to  just scooting over so they could pass each other, he just sat there and tried to force her to back up. When she didn't, he started yelling profanities at her, then got out and walked away. It held us up for a good half hour. We did manage to get plenty of hay to last for quite some time though. So I guess it worked out okay.

As for the ditch digging, digging is the one type of physical labor that I absolutely hate. I think the main reason for this is that our property is basically nothing but fucking rocks! Every time I stick the shovel into the ground *thunk*. Then I spend ten minutes trying to pry the rock out, so I can lift the shovel up, plunge it back down and *thunk*. Every fucking time! So yeah, when I said I dug a ditch, what I really meant was that I dug a half-assed ditch that I will now probably spend the rest of the week working on, trying to get it deep enough to be any good.

Today, before we could start on the pump-house, we had to move the world's largest rock out of the way. It was insane. My dad and I each had a bar that we used to try to pry the thing out of the ground. We had to pry it up, then slide blocks under it, then pry it some more, then slide the blocks, then stack blocks on top of each other, then pry some more. It took forever, and I'm fairly certain that I was almost no help at all since, every time I tried to pry the thing, my bar just kept sliding through the dirt. Anyway, we finally managed to just roll the thing over into the ditch (not the one I just dug, but the one with the little stream in it).

So yeah, good times.

Except the digging, the digging sucked!

Ⓥ Mother of All

You know the old saying "Necessity is the mother of invention"? Well, it seems to me that necessity is the mother of......well everything. Necessity is the mother of strength, of patience, of evolution, of adaptation, of education, of everything. Humans, for the most part, are lazy. We do most things when, and only when, we absolutely have to. However, necessity is also a relative term. We can decide what is, or is not necessary. There is a switch in each of our minds that controls which things we see as necessary. We can think about it logically and decide for ourselves what those things are. When we stop thinking about something as optional, we suddenly find that we have access to all of the things that necessity creates.

When we find ourselves in difficult situations, we also find ourselves doing things that we never knew we could. We become better, stronger, smarter, more creative people when we have to. There have been many times in my life when I have done things that I didn't previously think I could. Some of these things you just do, and others you have to work your way up to but, one way or another, being placed in a situation which asks more of you than you thought you were able to give allows you to find parts of yourself you didn't know were there. You find a way to do what needs to be done, whether through brute strength, sheer force of will, creative thinking, or whatever, and you do this simply because you must; because it's necessary.

Why though, do we have to save the best parts of ourselves for times when we absolutely have to use them? The truth is, we don't. We can all choose what is most important to us, and live as if those important things are matters of life and death (and sometimes they really are). We can force ourselves to be our best by simply deciding that we have no other option.

When you talk about animal rights and veganism with the average person, you get lots of responses like "I could never do that!" or "I could never live with (insert random animal product here)." The truth is, yes you can! We all can. It can be difficult, especially at first, but we are strong. We are so much stronger than we realize, and the only thing we have to do to bring out that strength is to decide that we have to. I think that's the real difference between vegans and other people. It's not the we're stronger, or that we don't like those foods as much as other people do, most of the time it's not even that we care more. It's just that we decided that veganism is necessary. Once you've done that, the rest is easy.

Basically, necessity = Eve (from Supernatural).

Ⓥ Vegan Superheroes

Today, I found some seriously cool vegans that I wanted to tell everyone about. I started out looking for Tim Shieff's Facebook page (the link is actually to his YouTube page, because he has some great videos you should all check out). He is an amazing athlete who often speaks out about veganism and animal rights issues.

Anyway, when I found it, I started scrolling through his feed and found a link to a page run by a friend of his who is a vegan stunt man. It's called We See You, and it's full of beautiful images of farmed animals. The goal of the page is to change the way people perceive these animals.

From there, Facebook recommended that I check out Casey Michaels' page. She is another vegan stunt person and apparently she was actually Scarlet Johansson's stunt double in Age of Ultron. So yeah, the real Black Widow? the one who pulled off all of those amazing moves? Vegan! She was also Hit Girl's double on Kickass 2. Plus, she makes a point to proclaim her veganism on her page by calling herself a "vegan stunt performer."

I am always happy to find any public figures who are vegan, especially when they are as open about why they are vegan, as these people are. I am particularly excited though to find people who also manage to prove that veganism can be an asset to the individual as well as to animals and the planet. These people do things that the average person can't even imagine being able to do, and they do them while maintaining a compassionate lifestyle. These are true superheroes, in every sense of the word! They have skills and abilities far beyond those of regular people and they dedicate themselves to protecting the innocent. What could be more heroic than that?  

Pretty sure that's actually Casey.

Ⓥ Discrepancy

I think socializing is more of a challenge for me than it is for most people. I assume this is mostly due to the fact that there are two distinct sides to my personality that often seem to conflict with one another. Because veganism and animal rights are the most important things to me, I'm always trying to connect with other vegans. I just feel like I can't be totally comfortable with non-vegans. It seems like having a shared belief system should automatically gives us a deeper connection.

The problem with this is that, to some extent, some of the stereotypes about vegans tend to hold true. Vegans in general do tend to be rather emotionally sensitive, peaceful, and loving people. This makes perfect sense; obviously those who are more empathetic would be more likely to care about the lives of others, both human and non-human. The thing is though, I'm not like that. I'm not a particularly sensitive person. In fact, I sort of pride myself on being completely unsentimental and unflappable. This makes it very hard for me to communicate with people who I should, logically, have every reason to get along with perfectly.

On the other hand, the people who I have a somewhat easier time talking to are often those who I ultimately have nothing in common with, other than a basic communication style. I like talking to people with dark or twisted senses of humor and a fondness for sarcasm. Unfortunately for me, it seems that there are very few vegans who fit this description.

It's also a problem for me to find other vegans who share any of my interests outside of animal rights. I have a propensity for things that are exciting, dangerous, violent (martial arts and the like), painful, etc. Most vegans don't seem to be interested in those sorts of things. I can totally understand that, it does appear to be a bit of a contradiction. However, I don't see why it has to be. Why do people have to be emotionally sensitive to see the inherent injustice of the way animals are treated in our society? Is there some rule that says that you can't be "tough" and still compassionate? I don't think so. I mean, when you think about it, what's more tough than protecting the innocent? Isn't that pretty much the strongest thing one can do?

It seems to me that even those who are totally okay with other types of violence should still be bothered by violence toward those who have done absolutely nothing to deserve it. Even those who have little tolerance for overly emotional people should have sympathy for the pain of those who are genuinely suffering. I guess I just don't understand why there aren't more angry, sarcastic, thrill-seeking vegans out there.  

Pig Barn Pull-Ups (Video)

My sister was kind enough to come and film for me, so I could show you guys how I do pull-ups in the pig barn. Sorry the lighting is kind of shitty. Also, please ignore the ridiculous boots.

Comic Women

I know I pretty much always seem to have a slightly different perspective on feminist issues than pretty much anybody else.....well here's another one. I know a lot of people are pissed off about the way women are portrayed in comics (see the Hawkeye Initiative), and I can see where they're coming from. The truth is though, I kind of love it.

Don't get me wrong, some of the poses are pretty over-the-top, but the fact that there is someplace where women who are strong are also seen as sexy seems like a good thing to me. Yeah, they all wear skimpy little outfits (which is kind of ridiculous) but then again, all the guys wear spandex (which is equally ridiculous). They are also very strong though, like as strong as the guys, and (here's my favorite part!) at least in most cases they are actually drawn to look like they are as strong as they are.

I have always thought that "strong" women in movies and TV tend to not look very strong. The problem is that they are subject to Hollywood's beauty standards and therefore are basically required to be thin and feminine looking. As far as I know, comic are the only place where female characters can not only be as strong as male characters but also actually look as strong as the male characters. Plus, the guys in comics are okay with the women being as strong and muscular as they are, which I don't think happens often anywhere else. So yeah, I think a few dumb looking poses are worth it to have strong women be seen as a good thing.  

Typhoid Mary is crazy as fuck, but she's also really tough and muscular and all the guys are really into her, despite the fact that she's always kicking the shit out of them (at least that's the case in the Deadpool comics I've been reading).

Vegan Super Power; Not Getting Tired

Last night was my last class until August. The New Instructor is leaving for the summer, and apparently they couldn't find anyone to cover the Friday class. I guess I'm just going to have to find some other way to get out my aggression for the next month and a half.

Anyway, it was a good note to end on. It was the most intense class we've had for a while. There were two other guys there, plus the Instructor, and we kept alternating partners so I got a chance to work with him a little on each thing we did. All of the students, myself included, always sort of take it easy on each other, but he doesn't really (I mean, I'm sure he does, but not as much as the rest of us). So I always feel like I get a much better workout with him than with the other students.

We worked on blocking punches for a little while and then spent the rest of the class on kicks. We kept a really fast pace the whole time, so we got a lot more work in than we usually do. At the end, the Instructor joked that he was going to make me keep working because I was the only one who didn't look totally worn out. I was still real fucking sweaty though. I think I get much more of a self-esteem boost from stuff like that than I probably should.

I got some pretty nice bruises too, on both hips from holding pads for kicks and this ^ really weird one on my wrist because I'm a dumbass and left my bracelet on under my gloves while blocking punches.

Another Poem Video (Ban-Gaisgedaig)

Here is my new video of my poem, Ban-Gaisgedaig. I really need to find a better place to film these things than on my mom's couch. Also, I got kind of lazy this time and decided to read the thing instead of memorizing it, sorry about that. 

By the way, if anyone actually has any idea how to pronounce that word I would love to know! I found it online so I've never heard it said, and it's Celtic so I know it wouldn't just be pronounced the way it's spelled. 

Chronic Politeness

I truly believe that the best way to be happy with yourself is to make a point to cultivate characteristics that you respect in others, and to try to overcome the ones you don't respect. I have been making a conscious effort to do this for some time now, and I believe that it has made a huge difference in my self-esteem. At this point, there are very few things that I am ashamed of. There is still one thing though that I just can't seem to get past. I just cannot seem to get over this whole doormat mentality that I have. All the people I respect most tend to be those who don't take shit from anybody; people who stand up for themselves, their beliefs and other beings. I seem to have what you might call "chronic politeness" I am compelled to be polite to people, even when they are being complete dicks to me, and I HATE that about myself.

Last night this woman came into Goodwill and was looking at the jewelry counter. I was standing there waiting to see if she would want me to get anything out for her. She asks to see my tattoo (the Vegan one) and when I show it to her she says, and I quote "Oh that's terrible." and shakes her head slowly. I honestly laughed, I was so taken aback. I mean, I have had people ask to see my tattoo and then not know what to say when they see what it is, but never has anyone expressed such blunt disapproval. Then she says "I have some friends who are vegans (I would just like to say that she may well know some vegans but, considering her attitude toward them, I would be willing to bet that they don't think of her as a friend.). You can usually tell who's a vegan because they're always scrawny like you." I really, REALLY wanted to punch her in the face. I seriously considered telling her that I think her concept of a healthy weight is a bit skewed (she was at least 30 pounds overweight), and/or dropping to the floor and doing 20 or 30 push-ups to show her how fucking "scrawny" I am. Instead, I just rang up her stuff and told her to have a nice night. I then proceeded to berate myself for it for the rest the night and again today.

I'm fairly certain Aeryn would kick the living shit out of anyone who had the nerve to call her scrawny, and I should have done the same. 

Why Don't You Just Let Us Carry It?

Yesterday, my dad and I had to go pick up a couch that my grandma had bought. It was one of the ones that has recliners built in to it. These two guys were carrying it out of the store for us; and to be fair the thing was fairly heavy, but holy fuck did these guy complain a lot. At one point, one of the guys asked my dad if he could pull the trailer closer because "This thing is really heavy!" My dad, who gets a real kick out of screwing with guys like this, says "Oh! Is it?" The guy replies "Just imagine, two recliners and a couch all at once!" I had a really hard time not laughing at the guy. "Picture if you will....TWO recliners!" HAH! I restrained myself though. My dad, not so much.

Anyway, after we left, my dad said something to the effect of "If I was doing that job, I would never complain to the customers about how heavy something was." Well, I have done that job, and I can tell you that I have never complained to the customers, or anyone else for that matter, about how heavy something was. I just don't do that. Unless it's actually too heavy for me to physically be able to pick it up, I will pretend that it's not heavy. Even if I feel like I'm going to fall over trying to carry it, I will act like it's no big deal. Apparently, this is not a common trait.

"Two recliners" 

What More Can a Girl Ask for?

As I've said about a million times (sorry about that, by the way.) what I really want out of a job is purpose. I want to be able to say that my job means something. However, considering the fact that it may be entirely delusional to think that I could find such a job, I've given a lot of thought to what kinds if things I'm looking for in a regular, just for the money, job. I've come up with;
1-I want something physical to do. I can't handle just sitting around all day.
2-I want to be able to take time off if I want it.
3- I want to be able to work evenings so that I don't have to get up at 3am just to get ready.
4- I don't want to have to have a separate wardrobe to wear to work.
5- I want to stay busy.
6- I want to have enough free-time to do the things I actually care about.
7- I want to do something I'm good at.
8- I want to be able to feel, at least, okay about what I do.
9- I don't want to have to deal with animal products.
10- I want to be able to make enough money to get by.

Then I realize that, except for that last one. I pretty much have all of that at Goodwill. And then I think ......

Ripped Apart

I feel as if I am constantly trying to rip myself apart. Every aspect of my being is eternally pulling, shoving, fighting, against all of the others. How can these different facets all exist within the same person, especially when they hate each other so? I have the mind of an artist; striving for creation, for expression. I have the soul of a monk; longing for fulfillment, for meaning. And I have the heart of a warrior, searching for challenge, for victory. These people, these archetypal concepts, that dwell within my consciousness are in a never-ending battle for dominance, for control over my life, my choices. My mind tries to create things of beauty, but my soul asks "what worth is there in beauty?" and my heart bellows "where is the adrenaline rush?" My soul dreams of building a better world, but my mind  cries "I will wither away!" and my heart demands "I must have an enemy to conquer!" My heart tries to make me strong and fearless, but my mind asks "what will that leave behind when you are gone?" and my soul asks "what impact will that make on the world?" I don't know how to please them all and I fear that to satisfy one is to sentence the others to death.

I realized today that it had been quite a long time since I posted any disturbing poetry. This one is a work in progress. 

Excuses Excuses

Sorry I'm late everyone. You see, I got stuck at work until almost ten (we close at 9). Therefore, I was really fucking tired and my brain was just not working. Plus, I had to get up early today because we have to go pick up some hay for Riley and Tuni, then I have to come back and wash all the hay off me so I can go grocery shopping. Anyway, the point is this; there was no blog last night because I simply did not have time to sit around and wait for my quickly deteriorating brain to present me with a decent post. Anyway, I got stuck at work because the guy that works in the back had a shit-ton of donations to deal with and couldn't get all of it carried inside by himself. So basically I stayed at work and carried heavy shit for an hour. As I'm sure you all know, I don't mind physical labor. However, I do mind having to stay late at work. Here's how pathetic I am though.....are you ready? As we were leaving, the manager said something to the effect of "I shouldn't have kept you so late, but I knew we needed you." To which I replied "Oh, that's no problem." but in my mind I'm going "They needed me!" Then I didn't even mind that I had to stay late. I am depressing.

Over-Identifying

In every book/movie/TV show that I get into, I invariably find at least one character that makes me think "Holy shit! He/she is just like me!" Well, my dad and I just started watching Farscape and I'm telling you, I am Aeryn Sun. She hates showing emotion, she doesn't know how to interact with other people, she has no idea what to do with her life or where she belongs, she absolutely does not do the girly thing, and she's pissed off all the time. Plus, she's really good at carrying heavy shit.

Seriously, we're the same person. 

I Am Human

It seems that I may have a cold. I am more bothered by this than I have any right to be. You see, I have this need to convey an image of invincibility. I'm not sure how many other people buy into it, but I usually manage to keep myself pretty well convinced. Veganism keeps me healthy; I'm fairly certain this is the first illness I have had in at least a year and I'm still not even entirely sure that's what this is. I mean I am surrounded by allergens of every shape and size all day long. My workout schedule keeps me strong, and I compensate for any lack of strength I may have with pure stubbornness. And my high pain tolerance and lack of concern for my own safety give me the distinct feeling that nothing can hurt me. That is, until I get a fucking cold! Then I realize that despite my best efforts (and my best delusions) I am still just human after all. Alas.

Volatile Vegan Fitness

For the first time in my life, I am half-way satisfied with the state of my body. Just so you know, I will never be entirely satisfied with the state of my body (or anything else for that matter) because I am obsessive and filled with of self-loathing. However, I feel that at this point I look better and am more physically capable (which, in my opinion, is just as important to one's feelings about his/her body) than I have ever been previously. Anyway, not that anyone cares or has any reason to take my advice, but I just thought I would share some of the things that I believe helped me get to the point where I am.

1- Keep trying different workouts until you find one you actually enjoy.
2- Learn to judge your progress by what you are able to do, instead of visible changes to your body.
3- No matter how tired or generally crappy you feel before you workout, you WILL feel better afterward.
4- No matter what anyone tells you, crunches do not do the same thing as sit-ups. Sorry.
5- Pay attention not just to what exercises you are doing, but how you are doing them. It's amazing how much difference it can make to do things the right way.
6- Pay attention to how your body feels when you workout regularly. I never noticed before that I could actually feel the tone in my muscles when I move.
7- Keep yourself motivated by focusing on how far you've come and think about how great it will be if you keep at it, instead of thinking about how much further you have to go.
8- Do at least a few things that are very hard for you. You will be amazed at how quickly they become easy.
9- Yoga makes other types of exercise easier. I think it's mostly that it teaches you how to breathe, but I'm not sure. I just know it works.
10- Do push-ups. Yes, they suck. Do them anyway.
11- Sometimes being obsessive is good; it helps you not to skip doing things that are good for you.
12- Stop eating shitty food. You will get used to not eating it and soon it won't even look good to you anymore. Eventually it won't even look like food to you anymore.
13- Learn to enjoy challenging yourself.
14- Don't even bother with scales; weight means nothing. I have no idea how much I weigh and I truly don't care.
15- I you ever really feel like doing something physical, do it! Do it right then, because the feeling will pass and then you will wish you could get it back.
16- Don't ever buy food that you know you shouldn't eat. If all you have is healthy food then all you will eat is healthy food.
17- Base your goals only on what YOU want. Ignore other people completely. Work as hard as you have to in order to get to a point where YOU are happy with the way you look and feel.
18- Make a rule for yourself that you will do some type of exercise every day, even if it's just for ten minutes.
19- Find excuses to use you new found strength. You will get addicted to the look on people's faces when they see you doing things that they can't do.
20. Most importantly......... GO VEGAN! It will be the best decision of your life. I promise!

Also, you could consider using soulless Sam as inspiration. It works for me. 

Okay?!

I warned you. Here is the list of reasons why people need to stop treating me like some weak, innocent, little, pussy.

1- I have eight tattoos (and didn't whine for a second during any of them, just so you know)
2- I spent two months trudging through snow up to my knees in, frequently single-digit temperatures.
3- I spent another two months lifting trash cans full of shit and wet straw over my head.
4- I once let someone shoot me in the back with a paintball, just for shits. It leaves a fairly massive bruise, by the way.
5- I seem to have completely lost my ability to become afraid, which is pretty cool actually.
6- I worked construction for a while.
7- I work out for an hour and a half every day. This includes my power yoga DVD, twenty push-ups, twenty triangle push-ups, and fifty sit-ups.
8- I can eat spicier food than anyone else I've ever met, and usually enjoy it.
9- I haven't taken any sort of pain killer for over ten years, probably closer to fifteen. No matter what.
10- I have been bitten by a remarkable assortment of animals.
11- I applied for a job as a stripper (it's not my fault they didn't hire me).
12- I was threatened by a Brahma bull.
13- I no longer remember how many speeding tickets I have had (at least four).
14- I kicked a giant dent in the trunk of my car.
15- When I was at WVU, I was one of maybe three people I knew who could drink 151 without a chaser and without making a terrible face.
16- I can kick you in the face if I want, yes you.
17- One of the knuckles on my right hand is permanently kind of weird now, from punching solid objects.
18- I once tasted pepper spray, again just for shits.
19- I genuinely enjoy pushing my body to it's limits, just to see what I can do.
20- I have never gotten stitches, even though I probably should have multiple times.
21- I do not scream.
22- I do not cry.
23- I have probably heard every disturbing, offensive, horrifying joke that ever existed; thanks to the guys I used to hang out with at WVU.
24- Sometimes I like to go running outside in the pitch dark, just to freak myself out a little.
25- I seem to have exceptionally strong bones. I have never broken one despite doing just as many, probably quite a few more, dangerous and injurious things as the average person.
26- I truly don't mind (most types of) pain.
27- I sometimes wish that someone would try to mug me or something, just so I can see if I could take them.
28- I absolutely refuse to go to the doctor or take any kind of medications ever. If something is ever wrong with me, I just wait it out.
29- As anyone who reads this has undoubtedly noticed, I talk like a fucking sailor. Of course I don't talk like this at work or anything, because I don't feel like getting fired, but the rest of the time.
30- I may very well end up liberating some animals someday, but shhhhhh, don't tell anyone.
31- I was the only girl who even took the physical test for the police department, and I passed when at least two guys didn't.
32- I have made myself watch an absurd number of animal cruelty/ factory farming videos because I don't want to try to convince people of something that I haven't seen for myself.
33- I have almost no concern for my own safety.
34- I think really awful things about people, all the time.
35- It's just who I fucking am okay?!

Perhaps Someone Put a Glamour on Me?

There seems to be something about me that causes people to view me as this sweet, innocent (and possibly helpless) little goody-goody. I bugs the shit out of me because it's really just not who I am at all. Furthermore, nothing I do seems to have any effect on it. Yesterday, I was helping one of the guys who works in the back carry some furniture out. It wasn't even anything all that big or heavy, just a couple of cabinets. While we were carrying the first one, he looked all surprised that I was able to carry it and made a comment about me being "pretty tough". With the second one he pointed out my tattoo (which, by the way, is always clearly visible) and said that he didn't realize that I had one. I replied that I actually have eight and he looked totally shocked and then laughed and said "Oh, so you're a bad girl then." which was obviously meant as a joke. These weren't really that big of a deal. I'm just sort of confused by the fact that he didn't think I seemed like someone who would have tattoos. The thing that really annoyed me was that, when I got back, the other cashier grinned and said "So the smallest person ends up carrying the furniture?" I tried to smile back at her, but I'm not entirely sure that it didn't come out looking like a snarl. Because here's the thing; I'm not small! I have seen plenty of small girls around. There are tons of girls who are short, and skinny, and delicate looking. I am not one of them! I'm not short. I'm kind of thin, but I'm toned thin, not bony thin. And no part of me looks the least bit delicate. I have large features, long limbs and really fucking bigs hands for a girl. I'm not small, I'm not weak, and I'm not some "good girl". So what exactly is it that makes people see me that way?

Sam knows what it feels like. 

Also, there is a good chance that tomorrows post will be a list of all the reasons people need to stop treating me like a goody-goody.