Well, So Much for the Vegan Police

It looks like the police job is no longer an option. Apparently the vegan food situation at the academy wasn't such a big deal, but the idea of having a belt that isn't made of leather is utterly absurd. I'm so very glad that I put off looking for another job for months before realizing this. Now I get to be completely broke for absolutely no reason. Awesome. Once again, I'm back where I started.

And I was really looking forward to being one of these guys too. Oh well I guess. 

Only to Me

About a week ago I went in to the police department to get fingerprinted. While I was there I mentioned that I was concerned about the availability of vegan food at the academy. The lieutenant who was handling my fingerprints, paperwork etc. said he would call the academy that day and find out what the food situation would be like and then let me know. After several days of waiting for him to call, I basically gave up on ever hearing from him. I assumed that the academy said there was no way I was going to be able to get vegan food and then he just wrote me off and moved on to the next person on the list. Well, today I realized that I hadn't gotten any voicemails for quite some time so I called my voicemail just to check. Guess what? I had THREE messages form him! THREE! My stupid phone just decided not to give me the messages. Fucking awesome. I am fairly certain this shit does not happen to other people.

You are a heartless bastard, phone!

Alright Universe This Is Your Last Chance

So I've decided that I'm going to go ahead and see this police thing through. I called them back today and I'm going to get fingerprinted on the 14th. I thought about it, and I still feel like it's my best shot at actually feeling like I'm doing something worthwhile with my life. I'm sure, if I actually manage to get the job, there will be things I won't like but I think it might be the closest I will ever get to doing what I want to do.

Plus as stupid as this is, I can't help but feel like there has to be some reason why things keep happening the way they do. Most of the time it really just seems like something out there is trying to drive me insane, but I keep trying to believe that eventually it might work out for the best. I really had given up on this job. Then I was just about to apply for another one, or several. If I had actually accepted another job before I heard from the police department I wouldn't have wanted to turn it down. So who knows, maybe I heard from them now because the universe knew that it was almost too late.

I'm telling you what though, if nothing good comes out of this I'm not paying attention to anymore "signs" from the universe ever again. I'm just going to assume that something out there is just fucking with me for the fun of it. I mean it universe! This is it!

Shitty, Shitty Timing

I swear, the timing in my life is fucking ridiculous! You know how I've been waiting to hear about that police job basically forever at this point? Well, about a week ago, I decided that I just couldn't wait anymore, so I started looking for other jobs. At first I was really disappointed, because I was convinced that I REALLY wanted this job. When I decided that I couldn't wait around for them anymore I started telling myself that it probably wasn't right for me anyway. I started thinking about all of the reasons it was a bad idea, things like; "It will probably be really boring." "I hate uniforms!" "I might not even be able to do it because of the food issue at the academy." "I'll probably have to write tickets/ arrest people for things I don't think should be illegal." etc. I think these are actually all valid. Anyway, I finally had myself convinced that I was better off without this job. Plus I found three or four jobs in the paper that I was going to apply for. Then guess what? Today I get a call from the police department! I didn't answer it and I really don't know what to say when I call them back. I tried to get all excited about it, but now all I can think about is all of those reasons I told myself I didn't want it. This is how things always seem to happen for me. I only get things I want after I have given up on ever getting them and convinced myself that I didn't really want them in the first place.

Fun?

Very soon the semester is going to be over. This signifies two things 1- I am going to be very relieved. 2- I am going to be very bored. Obviously, I am going to have to find a job. Whether I get the police job or not, I have to get some kind of job or I'm not going to be able to eat, but I also need to have something to do with my time. You know what would be really great? If sometime over the summer I could manage to actually find something that I enjoy doing. Maybe some sort of social activity? Something fun? I don't even think I understand the concept of fun anymore; in fact, I'm not sure I ever did. There was a time when I thought I was having fun, but in retrospect it seems kind of awful.

An Interesting Development

Well, it looks like maybe the police department hasn't counted me out after all. A friend just told me that she was talking to a couple of officers and they mentioned something about how the new "vegan chick" is going to have a hard time when they all start telling hunting stories. While I'm certainly not thrilled about the idea of having to listen to a bunch of hunting stories, I'm pretty excited to hear that they seem to think I have a good chance of getting the job. Also, I don't know if they realize this but I've lived in West Virginia my whole life. I've heard my fair share of hunting stories.

Spring? Is That You?

Of course the day when I have a pile of homework to do ends up being the nicest day we've had this year. This is why, tomorrow, I am going to try to make myself get up around 3:00am so I can finish the paper that I didn't finish today. Instead of finishing my paper, I went for a walk with my mom and my sister; and my dad took me up on the hill and let me shoot at a rock. I must say, that was a very interesting though highly uncomfortable experience. I imagine I will get used to it (assuming that becomes necessary).

Oops, and Also Now What?

Alas, I completely forgot to write a post yesterday. I think this is the first time since I started this blog, which I guess is pretty good. Still, it bugs me. Anyway, sorry about that.

So now that I'm done whining about the lack of post yesterday, I'll go ahead and get to today's post. I still haven't heard anything from the police department. I'm starting to wonder if they facebook stalked me and decided that I was too "radical" or something. I had actually kind of wondered about that when I applied in the first place. I mean, animal rights is a pretty controversial subject in any setting, but I'm sure it's even less accepted by law enforcement than it is by the average person. These are the people responsible for arresting the people I think of as heroes after all. Anyway, I have now started trying to decide what my plan B is going to be. Yay! back to square one, yet again. Also, Impala pissed on my bed today, so that was fucking great.

A Time for Celebration

Well, I finally got the results from my written test for the police job today. I got a 90%, which I guess is good. It's at least good enough that I am going to have to jump through the rest of the hoops. I still have no idea whether I'll actually get the job or not, because this is my life we're talking about here and nothing can ever be certain, simply or straightforward.

There is one thing worth celebrating that is certain though. The new Supernatural is tonight! Supposedly this episode is going to have both Cas and Meg. I wonder if he'll show her what he learned from the pizza man :)

I Can Do This. I Can Do This. I Can Do This.

I actually managed to make myself go for a run today. Before I went, I had myself convinced that I was going to start running every day. It was going to be great! I was going to get in such great shape and be ready in case I actually do get this job and end up going to the police academy. Then I actually did it and remembered that it makes me feel like I'm going to die. Hopefully I will still be able to keep going, but it's going to be difficult. I keep trying to believe that, if I keep working on it, it will get easier, but I just don't know if I buy it.

Poor Excuses

Remember when I said that there was supposed to be another woman taking the test the other day? Well, I have been informed that she did, in fact, show up. She just showed up half an hour late and stated that it was because she got lost in the parking garage. What the fuck? I mean really, if you got lost in a parking garage would you tell the people who are supposed to be deciding whether or not you get a job about it? I know I wouldn't. First of all, just pick a space and park there. Who cares if it's the place where you're supposed to park? Second, how hard is it to make up a reason for being late that's better than "I got lost in the parking garage"? I can think of about a thousand excuses that are more convincing and that don't make you sound like an incompetent dumbass Needless to say, they told her to go home.

YAAAAY! I guess.....

Well everyone, I took my test yesterday. I passed the physical part and apparently it's going to be a while before we get the results from the written part. Then there will still be the psychological test and the background check. Good times. Anyway, both tests went alright for the most part.

There was supposed to be one other female applying for the job but she didn't show up, so it was me and thirty guys. Awkward.  They split us into three groups of ten (my group ended up with eleven, because there was some crazy girl there who thought she could compete with thirty guys, and who turned out to be right HAH!). I ended up in the last group which is apparently where all the losers ended up, because two people out of my group couldn't do push-ups and one couldn't do sit-ups. Then we had to run one and a half miles in fifteen minutes. This was the part I was worried about. I knew I could do push-ups and sit-ups, but I hadn't practiced running in a long time (mistake!). As I suspected, I still suck at running. I made it though, and I came in fourth or fifth out of what was left of my group. I say fourth or fifth because I lost track of one of the other guys, I think he was behind me though. It was fairly miserable, but I made it through fine. Then, as soon as I was done, my lungs said "Okay so you don't need us anymore, right?" then they collapsed. I seriously need to work on that.

Then we had to come back later and do the written test. It was weird. We had to read this little booklet for 25 minutes and try to remember as much of it as we could. Then the test asked us questions from the booklet. There were also all of these questions about what steps you should take, and in what order, in a given situation. Then there were several about distance and direction and which route would be quickest and how far you would be from your starting point and whatever. Those made me a bit nervous because I am not good with direction at all, like at all. Overall I feel pretty okay about  it though. I guess we'll find out in a few weeks.

Anyway, right now I kind of feel like this

Wish Me Luck Folks

Well, today is my test to see if I can get hired for the police officer job. As much as I still don't know whether or not it would be a good fit for me, I'm pretty excited about it. I feel like, at the very least, it would be something totally different. And that's something I definitely need right now. Plus who knows, maybe if I get a job as a cop someday I'll get recruited by Torchwood to hunt down evil aliens. Hey, it worked for Gwen Cooper.

Anyway, I'll let you guys know when I find out anything.

Don't Tase Me Bro! Actually No, Go Ahead.

Yesterday my dad told me that he talked to a guy he works with who used to be a cop. The guy told him that when you go to the police academy, everyone has to get tased. This would probably cause a normal person to question their decision to apply for a job as a cop but, because I am a raving lunatic, I was kind of excited about it. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it will completely suck. I just want to see how I react to it compared to all the big, burly guys I'm sure I will be there with.

All of this, of course, still depends on me actually getting the job and being able to work out a way to get food at the academy.

Mayhap.........

I finally got my application for the police department turned in yesterday. We'll see what happens now. I still have no idea if I'll get it or, if I do get it, if I'll be able to make it work. I do have another idea if this job doesn't work out though.

About a week ago, I found an article called " 6 Badass Jobs That You're Probably Already Qualified to Do" The first job on the list? Bounty hunter, which they describe as "all the action and danger of being a cop, with none of the rules." To which I replied "Holy fuck! That's exactly what I want!" Apparently, there is a Bounty Hunter Training Academy  that offers a two day course that will teach you things like;

Door/window breach
Non-lethal force
Forcible entries
Tactical take downs
Surveillance
Pre-text art (Essentially, lying)
Weapons handling
Weapons disarmament
Close quarters combat

So basically it sounds like they teach people how to be Sam and Dean. Sign me up! Seriously though, if the whole cop thing doesn't work out, this sounds like a pretty good back up plan.

Germaphobe or Drug Addict? You Don't Know.

So I'm still considering the whole police officer thing, and before I can take the agility test (which, by the way, makes me feel like I'm competing in a fucking dog show) I had to get a doctor to declare me to be in good enough physical condition to take the test. Yesterday I finally went to get a physical. I don't even know how many years it's been since I was in a doctor's office. I avoid them at all costs. Every time I set foot in a doctor's office, hospital, health clinic, any similar place, I become convinced that I am going to contact some horrifying illness. When I show up for my appointment yesterday, I am already on edge. I walk into the building and try to act like I'm not on the verge of sprinting in the opposite direction. To my relief, there is only one person in the waiting room, which indicates to me that 1- less people = less germs, and 2- maybe this won't take very long. I sit in the waiting room for maybe five minutes before they take me in and I'm thinking "Yes! I am going to make it through this after all." Then, for some reason they decide to leave me in the exam room for over an hour! During which time I hear multiple people coming and going. Some of them are coughing, some groaning, and some talking about how they spent the whole weekend lying in bed. Meanwhile, I'm pacing back and forth at around ninety mile an hour and alternately wringing my hands and shoving them so far into my pockets that I'm afraid the seams are going to rip. Plus I'm pretty sure my eyes looked like they were going to pop out of my head. Twice, other patients walked by and looked at me, at which point I realized that they were most likely wondering what kind of pills I was there to score.

Qualifications: Volatile, Vegan, Fearless to the Point of Stupidity, Strong, High Pain Tolerance, Burning Desire to Do Things that May Result in Death, Hard Worker.

I haven't mentioned this before because I wasn't sure about it. I'm still not sure, but I have decided to mention it anyway because now I've realized that I need advice! I've been thinking about applying for a job as a police officer. I know it sounds ridiculous! The reason I'm considering it is because I am so fucking bored I think my head is going to explode! I NEED excitement in my life. I need a job that makes me feel alive. The problem is, I live in West Virginia and if I do get this job I will probably just end up arresting a bunch of drunk rednecks and still not doing anything exciting. Plus I don't particularly like authority figures, I hate uniforms, and it has recently come to my attention that I may or may not be able to eat at the Police Academy (since I'm vegan). So here's my question; what should I do with my life? I want a meaningful but exciting job, that doesn't require me to do things I don't believe in, and I can't for the life of me think of a single job that fits that description. HALP!