And So It Begins

The ladybugs are back.

I'm Under Attack

Yesterday, as I was on my way to work, I had the windows down, and the radio blasting, and was just trying desperately to ignore the fact that I was running late for work, and the fact that I didn't want to be going in the first place. Suddenly, I feel something tickling the side of my neck. I didn't really think anything of it, a fallen hair? a fly who had come in through the window? my imagination? So I reach up to brush whatever it is off, and I feel it fall down onto my chest. Okay, so not my imagination, too heavy to be a hair, flies don't usually fall. I look down and there, sitting on chest, just staring at me is this angry looking spider. At first I thought "I'll just pick him up and toss him back out the window, that he apparently just came swinging in through." However 1-I couldn't catch him, 2-The harder I tried to catch him, the angrier he got and the more concerned I became that he might bite me, and 3- I wasn't entirely sure that he wouldn't just land in the road and get run over. As I'm looking for a good place to pull over where I can quickly get him out of my car, get back on the road, and maybe maybe make it to work on time, he continues to run all over my body. At one point, I lost track of him for a second and then realized that he was hiding under the edge of my leg. I finally find a good place to pull over, push myself up so I'm sort of hovering above him and try to quickly pick him up and throw him out. He was too fast for me. He dove onto the floor before I could grab him. So I picked up a piece of paper off the floor and tried to flick him out. Apparently in the two seconds between when he hit the floor and when I picked up the paper, he had managed to tie himself down, because when I flicked him out he just bounced right back in. It took me four tries to finally get him to stay out.

Okay, so he looked nothing like the Racnoss and he was actually kind of cute, but that doesn't negate the fact that he was a talented and dedicated little warrior.

P.S. I made it to work with 7 seconds to spare.

Oh So We've Moved on to Biblical Plagues Now, Is that It?

You know how I said I was cursed? Well apparently my curse is expanding to include new and more creative forms of torture. Don't believe me? Well get this, somehow, my car has become infested with cockroaches. That's right, cockroaches! First of all, let me just say that while it is true that my car is very messy I do not now, nor have I ever, had any food in my car. I don't EVER leave anything remotely edible in my car, which I know many people do. I have absolutely no idea how or why they would have ended up in my car, there is  no reason for them to be there, NONE. Secondly, I would like to say that there is no other creature in the world that would disturb me more by choosing to inhabit my vehicle. I would honestly be less bothered if my car was full of bees, spiders, snakes, or fucking grizzly bears! I don't know why I'm so bothered by cockroaches, but I am. Anyway, I abandoned my car next to the pig barn with the windows open, in the hopes that they will leave of their own volition but I'm half afraid that I'll go back tomorrow and find my car completely overrun. I may just have to bun it. I'm fairly certain they're just sitting in there right now doing this.....

Something Worse Than the Ladybugs?

What is the deal with insects attacking me while I'm trying to exercise? Today, I'm right in the middle of my workout and I brush my arm against my pants and feel this sharp pain. I look down and there is a wasp just sitting on my leg. I was already running very late, so I just knocked him off of me and continued with my workout. I tried to keep an eye out for him, but I I didn't see where he went. Then, just as I'm finishing up, I feel multiple stings all over my back. The little fucker flew down the back of my shirt and I didn't even notice until he decided to decided to wage war against me. I can't even tell how many stings there are, but it feels like quite a few.

Stinky Little Winged Bastards!

The house where I live is completely overrun with ladybugs. They are everywhere! They seem to be especially fond of the upstairs, which is sort of my section of the house. The little fuckers fly at me, and frequently land on me, while I'm trying to exercise in the mornings. Of course I won't kill them, so there's really nothing I can do about it. That's okay though because apparently their life-cycle is pretty short anyway. I know this because their crunchy little corpses keep collection all over my floor. You want to know the best thing about them though? Riley Pug likes to go around every morning and eat the dead ones. He walks around and slurps them off the floor and then makes this god awful gagging noise. I don't know if it's because of that weird smell they give off, or if they get stuck in his throat or what, but it's really unpleasant. (sings) The beeeeeest part of waking up......is your dog gagging loudly the whole time you're trying to eat breakfast.