Forever Alone

As I have mentioned before, I have realized that I am most likely never going to have a successful relationship (in fact, it's starting to look like I am never going to have any kind of relationship ever again). Well, here's why. The things I would need in another person are things that simply don't exists within the same person. I would need someone who had so many conflicting traits that his/her head would most likely explode. For example, I need someone who;

1. Is damaged enough to understand me, but not too damaged to function (this is a VERY fine line).
2. Understands that it is possible to simultaneously hate people and feel compelled to help them.
3. Is adventurous, possibly to the point of stupidity.
4. Understands my germ issue.
5. Is willing to put up with my poorly behaved animals.
6. Cares about health/fitness at least somewhere near as much as I do. .
7. Has a twisted sense of humor.
8. Doesn't care about having nice/expensive things.
9. Wants to make the world a better place.
10. Is at least as much of a guy as I am (I'm sure this sounds weird, but it is surprisingly difficult. If I ended up dating a girl, this wouldn't be as much of an issue but I still couldn't be with some winy bitchy girl. I just couldn't handle being the guy in a relationship with a guy though.)
11. Doesn't do any of that cutesy shit. I can't stand that.
12. Can have an intelligent conversation without trying to prove anything.
13. Doesn't need too much reassurance (not because I don't want to be reassuring, but because I'm not good at it.)
14. Has a weird sense of style, or at least doesn't mind that I do.
15. Is not overly emotional.
16. Accepts the fact that I am overly unemotional.
17. Is as tough as me (once again, not as important for a girl but still important.)
18. Shares, or at least understands, my taste in music, TV, movies, etc.
19. Isn't terribly disturbed by my sometimes self-destructive tendencies.
20. I love and loves me back ( I guess that's the big one, huh?)

So I would say there's what? Maybe a 1% chance that I would ever find anyone like that? Then you add in the fact that the person would HAVE to be vegan (or at the very least vegetarian, and willing to go vegan) and it drops to 0. So yeah.