Just What I Was Hoping For

For the past several weeks, I have been desperately searching for a new pair of Mitchell

Gloves (which is what I call those fingerless gloves). I had several pairs of the knitted ones, but they are all starting to wear out and I kind of wanted some that were vinyl or something, so that it wouldn't look quite as weird if I continued to wear them once the weather clears up. Anyway, once again, I ran into the problem of all the ones I like being leather, and/or super expensive, and/or from overseas. I finally found some that I liked in L.A. (still a little farther than I would like, but I was willing to deal with it) for, get this, $4.99! and free shipping! I was so happy that I bought two pairs, so I would have an extra. Well, they arrived a couple of days ago and I couldn't wait to try them on! When I took them out of the envelop, the first thing I noticed was a big WARNING stick which informed me that they contained chemicals which may cause cancer. I found that a bit disconcerting, but I was willing to overlook it. Them I tried them on and realized that, not only would they apparently give me hand cancer, but they made me look like I already had it. They were sown crooked so they had (obviously unintentional) holes everywhere, they were completely square, and they were several sizes too big (despite being "one size fits all"). Basically, they made it look like I had giant robot hands that had torn through my gloves in random places. Yeah, yeah, I know "you get what you pay for" fuck you.

Mitchell^.....................Gloves^