Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Futility
My life is a study in futility. I just want to make the world a better place; to be someone who matters. Yet the harder I try to stand out from the crowd, the more I fade into the background. My days, weeks, months, years are an endless cycle of trying, and failing, and trying again. I am Sisyphus. I am a fish swimming upstream in a current that is just a little too strong for her. I am the fucking itsy, bitsy spider. My whole world is a series of marathons of planning, and scheming, and dreaming that inevitably end in crushing disappointment. And after each defeat I am expected to smile politely as I rush back to the starting line to do the whole thing all over again, meanwhile assuring everyone that this time it will be different.
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You know, inspiration can come from the most unlikely source. A few months ago while vacationing on Tybee Island, I treated myself to a massage. The woman whose business I randomly selected for the service was the person who sent my life on a different path. She told me a bit about her unplanned life path and how reading the book "The Magic," made a difference. I like personal references for books, so I looked into it. Another book by the same author was "The Secret," and I accidentally ordered it from my library when intending to order "The Magic." Didn't matter. I've since read both books and they're changing my life every single day. Since that day, I've noticed references to the same advice in all kind of places throughout the centuries. Most recently, on a visit to an African-American historic church in Savannah. The law of attraction. I'm a believer. And it all started (for me) with that random conversation with the massage therapist on Tybee.
ReplyDeleteMy mom loved The Secret. I don't know, it just never really seemed to work for me. I'm really glad that things are going well for you though :)
DeleteI really like this poem, but I believe this won't be existence forever.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I hope you're right because this shit is getting old, hahah.
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