Why Do I Fucking Bother!?

You know how I'm a huge fucking germaphobe? how I wash my hand like a hundred times a day and freak out over any kind of dirt or germs being anywhere near my food? You also know how I'm obsessive about health? how I take excellent care of my body and only eat things that are exceptionally healthy? Finally, you know how I hate nothing more in the world than being sick? how I will do damn near anything to avoid being around anyone who might infect me with anything and then become paranoid about it for days? Well, last night my sister called to tell me that my almond butter, the thing that I eat more of than anything else, had been recalled because of, get this, salmonella! I checked and, sure enough, I had two jars from the (possibly) contaminated batch and had already eaten half of one of them. I looked it up later last night and, apparently, they don't know that it was actually contaminated, it seems to be more of a covering their ass kind of thing, but I'm still going to be flipping right the fuck out about it for a couple of days. Plus I'm going to have to throw away over $20 worth of almond butter and order more online so I don't starve.

To quote Olivia Godfrey "Fuck me.........fuck YOU!"

I imagine you can all tell from my excessive overuse of the "fuck" that I find this whole thing highly perturbing.