How Did I Get Here?

How did it get to the point where my entire life is nothing but germs and noise? Seriously? Everything in my life is either gross or loud or, in most cases, both. Despite the fact that he was obviously feeling better yesterday, Kaya decided to go ahead and piss on the couch right in the spot where I always sit. So now I have had to wash cat piss of my body twice in the last three days. Also, we have this new kitten (who I have been calling Kilgharrah, after the dragon from Merlin) who is currently living outside but we are trying to convince to move inside. Well, last night when I let him in he proceeded to follow me around screaming at the top of his lungs for fifteen minutes, and then shit in the floor. Then, of course, there are the dogs who do nothing but bark and piss on the chair legs in the dining room, and the pigs who roar like fucking grizzly bears and then splash rancid mud in my face every time I'm near then. Good fucking times.

Please!? I would really like to go now!