Knowing Your Weaknesses Part 1

You know how there are people who are called "life coaches"? Well, I've realized that what I need is a "life judge". I need someone to just follow me around and tell me what I'm good at, what I need to work on, and what I should really just give up on. Seriously, I honestly have have no idea how to gauge my own abilities/traits/whatever. I constantly bounce back and forth between thinking I'm good at things, and thinking I'm hopelessly incompetent. This especially goes for artistic endeavors, but also for everything else.

I feel like knowing what your own strengths and weaknesses are a fairly fundamental part of deciding what to do with your life, not just career wise, but in general. Unfortunately, I am at a complete loss when it comes to that.

For example, here is a list of things that I like to do/would like to try, but don't do/only do when I'm alone because I don't know if I'm any good at them.
Singing
Dancing
Fighting
Acting
Flirting

and here is a list of things that I would like to be, but I don't know if I am.
Interesting
Attractive
Clever
Funny
Talented

I feel like I could also benefit from an overall rating of myself as a whole. I really just need some unbiased person to follow me around with a bunch of score cards, so I'll know whether or not I suck.

If I ever saw this ^ then maybe I would finally know what to do with my life.