The Search

You know what just about the most irritating thing in the world is? Knowing exactly what you're looking for online and not being able to find it. You know how it's sort of a running joke how no one ever goes to the second page of their Google search results? Well, I do. In fact, I frequently get to the fifth or sixth page before getting so frustrated that I just give up. I don't know if I'm looking for things that are too weird, or too specific, or what, but no matter what I'm looking for I can never seem to find it.

This issue usually presents itself when I'm looking for images for this blog. I will have this perfect image in mind, usually a scene from a show, and know exactly what episode it was from, who was in it, what was said, and yet I can never seem to find just the one I wanted. I know that it has to exist somewhere, it just has to. So I will try phrasing my search 8000 different ways and still never find it. Then, sometimes, weeks later when I'm looking for something else, there it will be just sitting there in my search results like "Oh, were you looking for me?"

Trying to buy things is even worse because then, not only do I have to worry about wanting something that is too specific, but I also have to try to find a vegan version of it. I gave up a long time ago on expecting to find the things I want in the real world. I have gotten used to buying most of my stuff online because then I at least have a chance of finding what I'm looking for. Unfortunately, it's still difficult as fuck to find stuff that I like that doesn't conflict with my values.

You know what the very worst thing to try to find is though? Vegan tattoo artists. This is why I have an endless list of tattoos that I want to get. I can never find anyone to do them. I spent, literally, three hours this morning searching for someone who does vegan tattoos anywhere even remotely near where I live. You know what I found? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing.

I am, I really am.