This Could Be a Problem

I was just scrolling through Pinterest (because that's how I spend a disproportionate amount of my time) and I saw a pin which read "I want to find the male version of me. That would be epic." At first I thought "Hahah, that's kind of cute." Then I thought "Holy fuck! Do you know how much easier life would be if I could find someone who was just like me?" I mean, people say that opposites attract, and that you need someone who will balance you out, and all that. But you know what? No! What I need is someone who gets all of my weird-ass neuroses, and cares about the things that I care about, and likes all of the goofy shit that I like, and who won't think I'm psychotic when I try to make a joke. If I were to go through the list of all the things that other people do that drive me fucking crazy and the list of things that I do that are likely to drive anyone else fucking crazy, I'm fairly certain that the only relationship I could ever have that wouldn't end in disaster is with someone who is 99% me. So, yeah, I'm probably doomed. On the upside, in my case it wouldn't necessarily have to be the "male version of me". For all I care, it could be the fucking Cylon version of me. If there is another being out there in the universe that understands my insanity, I'll take it.

Vote for me :) Come on, you know you want to.