You're a Little Late

It's really goofy how life works sometimes. Whatever you're waiting around for never seems to happen, but if you decide that you don't give a shit about it anymore and start waiting for something else, (BAM!) there's that other thing all of a sudden. Kind of like how no one ever asks you out unless you're already dating somebody, or how you can't ever get a job unless you already have a job.

You know how I said I was doing the whole online dating thing? Well, it was basically a fucking disaster. I kept checking my email all the time, just hoping that someone (who wasn't creepy and three times my age) would contact me. Well, it just wasn't happening, so I said "fuck it!" and tried to forget about the whole thing. Then a couple of days ago, I found this shop  and wanted to buy the whole fucking place! I managed to limit myself to three or four things though. One of them was a bottle of perfume and I was fairly certain it was vegan, but I wanted to make 100% sure before I bought it. So I wrote to them and asked them about it. Being the crazy person that I am, I was super excited to buy all the amazing stuff I found so I was VERY anxious for them to write me back. So naturally, I checked my email about 800 times yesterday, just hoping for a response from the shop. Well guess what? They never did write to me. Guess who did write to me? Two different guys from Vegan Passions. TWO! And they both seem decent. All this time I've been driving myself crazy just hoping to hear anything from anyone, and now that I basically gave up on it and stared driving myself crazy over something else, now I get two!

I am The Girl Who Waited......and then got the thing she wasn't waiting for anymore. 

What More Can a Girl Ask for?

As I've said about a million times (sorry about that, by the way.) what I really want out of a job is purpose. I want to be able to say that my job means something. However, considering the fact that it may be entirely delusional to think that I could find such a job, I've given a lot of thought to what kinds if things I'm looking for in a regular, just for the money, job. I've come up with;
1-I want something physical to do. I can't handle just sitting around all day.
2-I want to be able to take time off if I want it.
3- I want to be able to work evenings so that I don't have to get up at 3am just to get ready.
4- I don't want to have to have a separate wardrobe to wear to work.
5- I want to stay busy.
6- I want to have enough free-time to do the things I actually care about.
7- I want to do something I'm good at.
8- I want to be able to feel, at least, okay about what I do.
9- I don't want to have to deal with animal products.
10- I want to be able to make enough money to get by.

Then I realize that, except for that last one. I pretty much have all of that at Goodwill. And then I think ......

Everything but the Desert Island

Yesterday I ended up talking to some woman at Goodwill about veganism. Well, what really happened was, I tried to be polite as she spouted off every cliche an omnivore has ever said to a vegan. Except the one about the desert island, which is good because if she had said that one I just might have snapped. Now, allow me to recreate for you the awkwardness that resulted from her obnoxiousness and my social ineptitude.

I was standing at the register, talking to my manager, and this woman comes up behind me and says "What size do you wear, little missy, 00?" Little missy? Really?
To which I replied "Hahah, afraid not." I know that was a dumb thing to say, but really what do you say to that?
Then she says "Seriously, how do you stay so thin?"
I say "Well, I'm a vegan." Now obviously there are other factors, like my compulsive need to workout for an hour and a half every day, but I always credit veganism first.
She says "What?"
Me: "A vegan. I don't eat any meat, milk, eggs."
Her: "Oh, you're a vegetarian."
Me: "Yeah." No, I'm a fucking vegan. That's why I said vegan. But whatever.
Her: "So what do you eat? Just fruits and veggies?"
Me: "Yeah, and rice and pasta and things like that."
Her: "Do you ever eat fish or anything?"
Me: With a big fake smile. "Nope."
Her: " But where do you get your protein?"
Me: Through gritted teeth. "Well, most people don't know that lots of plant foods actually have a lot of protein. I eat nuts and beans and that sort of thing."
Her: Sort of waves what I just said away. "Don't you ever crave it though?"
Me: Trying to seem amicable "Well, it's been thirteen years for me. So I'm pretty much over that, hahah."
Her: "Oh." "So you really think that works for you, huh?"
Me: "Yeah, it really works very well for me."
She then proceeds to tell me all about how the guy who owns Goodwill is getting rich off of people's donations.

Thank you, lady at Goodwill, for a truly stimulating conversation.

I was totally winning at defensive omnivore bingo. 

Dollhouse Pants

Do you ever have inside jokes where you're the only one inside? Well I do. Many times I don't say them aloud, because I know no one will know what the fuck I'm talking about. Other times I do, just because they're so funny I can't keep them to myself. Needless to say, no one else ever seems to think so. I especially like to have clever names for my clothes. I have;
1-Amy Brown socks- Tall striped socks, named for the artists who draws a lot of fairies with such socks.
2-Mitchell gloves- If you've seen Being Human, you know what I'm talking about.
3-The Travelling Shorts- A pair of shorts I bought at Goodwill a couple years back. They are jean shorts with a tag that says "one size fits all". I was with my sister and my boyfriend (at the time) when I found them. We all thought it was ridiculous and there was no way they would fit multiple sizes. So just for shits, we all decided to try them on. They fit all of us! It was insane! (by the way, I have neither seen nor read The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants. I just know the concept and thought it was funny.)
4- For years now, I have been wearing this certain type of pants to sleep and exercise in and I've never been sure what to call them. I usually call them sweat pants, but they're not exactly sweat pants, or pajama pants, but they're not those either. I guess they're sort of yoga pants, but not quite. Well, I've finally figured out what they are. They're Dollhouse pants.

The Power of Words

I haven't said much about it for a while, but I've still been reading up on Wicca. The more I find out about it, the more I like it. I like the polytheistic aspect of it. I love the emphasis on a connection to nature and the idea that we are able to interact with the planet's energies in a meaningful way. I think the thing that I like the most though, is the focus on the power of words. The whole idea behind a spell is that the right combination of words can actually create an energy force that can cause a desired outcome. When you think about it, isn't that the point of writing? To find the specific combination of words that  has the greatest effect? I just started reading The Deep Heart of Witchcraft (my third book on the subject) by David Salisbury, who happens to be a gay, vegan witch (YES!). When I found him it sort of dispelled any reservation I had about Wicca after reading The Witches' Way. The authors of The Witches' Way put a LOT of emphasis on the importance of the male/female polarity and the whole thing seemed rather discriminatory to me. They also talked about non-humans as having a lower form of soul with no individual consciousness (bullshit!). Anyway to get back on topic, there is a quote right in the very beginning of David's book which says "When we write something down, we're affirming the thought in our heads to the physical world, bringing it into being. In that sense, every act of writing is an act of magick and should be treated as such." Love it!

Epitaph

For the sake of the planet and all of the beings who inhabit her, I really hope that humans get their shit together soon. I feel like there is a good chance that we're on a direct path for our own destruction and if we don't make some changes soon, we are going to ruin everything for everyone. For my own sake though, I sometimes hope that they just go ahead and burn it all down. The things is I just don't feel, and never really have felt, that I was built for this world. I sometimes think that I might thrive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. I sometimes think that a good struggle for survival might be just what I need.

Mayhap there is a weird depressing poem in here somewhere? 

Also, the title/image are Dollhouse reference, just so you know. 

Festival of Colors

Yesterday, a group of us went to the Festival of Colors. It was held at the Palace of Gold  in Moundsville WV. First of all, may I just say that I am completely amazed that this place exists in WV. It was absolutely beautiful! The buildings were incredibly intricate and detailed. There were these amazing statues everywhere. They had a huge rose garden with varieties of roses I have never seen before. And there was a gorgeous pond full of lily pads and huge lotus blossoms. Then there was the event itself. It was the most fun I have had in a very long time. I had seen pictures of it online many times and always thought "I want to do that someday." but as far as I knew they only did it in India, and I knew I was most likely never going to make it to India. Then I found out they were having it in fucking Moundsville WV! I was more than a little shocked. Everything about it was beautiful. A whole crowd of people covered from head to toe in every color of the rainbow, and then some. Every hour they had a group color toss, during which everyone threw handfuls of color into the air at the same time and created this enormous cloud of swirling dust. Plus the colors were scented with some sort of incense, or something, that had this pleasant lightly rosy smell. The whole thing was fucking fantastic and I'm definitely going back next year!

Caty posted some truly great pictures on Facebook. Check them out!