Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Where Do I Belong? Where Do I Fit?

At this point in my life I feel like one of the things I want most is just to have my own space. I have been living with other people my whole life and I am just not good at it. I am far too neurotic and weird and have far to strange a sleep schedule to live with anyone else. The germ thing is the biggest issue. No matter how careful I am about keeping certain things clean, as long as I'm sharing a space, things are going to get "contaminated." It's not just that though. It takes me for fucking ever to get ready in the mornings, so sharing a bathroom with another person is a giant pain in the ass. I get up absurdly early in the mornings and have to tip toe around trying not to wake other people up (and I usually fail). I have an infinitely easier time getting going in the mornings if I can play music, which I can't when someone else is sleeping. I fucking hate TV. If it were up to me I wouldn't even have cable or satellite or anything. On the other hand, I can watch Netflix all damn day. I sing all the time when I'm alone and, living with other people, I have to constantly remind myself not to do that. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have a place that really feels like mine.

Despite all of this, from time to time, I think that what I really want is not my own place but to share a place with someone who makes all of this bullshit seem worth it. Probably never going to happen.

Furthermore, I wan to live here. 


*The title is a quote form Being Human and is to be read with an Irish accent. 

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