Monday, December 31, 2012

Looking Back

Well everyone 2013 is almost here, so here is a list of my twelve favorite things from 2012, some I would generously call "accomplishments" others are just random things that happened to me.

1. I interned at Farm Sanctuary's Acton California shelter. This actually entailed three pretty exciting things. The internship itself, traveling to California (which I have always wanted to do) and flying for the first time in my life.
2. I got paid for writing for the first time, thanks to The Flaming Vegan!
3. I ended up with As in all of my classes (the gods of laziness have smiled upon me once again.)
4. I spoke about animal rights in front of a room full of people (more than once.)
5. I learned how to go from standing into a back bend and then back to standing, quite awkwardly for now but I'm still working on it.
6. I discovered an affinity for British Television (thanks to my Pinterest friends) which has somehow managed to make my own voice inside my head speak with an English accent most of the time.
7. I learned to go across the rafters in the pig barn like monkey bars.
8. I have gotten into the habit of getting up absurdly early in the mornings, like between 3 and 5 early, which for some reason really seems to be working for me.
9. I had a class with a vegan professor.
10. I have gotten to the point where I am, at least sort of, satisfied with my body. Okay, maybe satisfied isn't the right word, but I don't completely hate it anyway.
11. I Finally got a coat that I like. I know that sounds stupid but I have wanted a sort of signature coat for years and I finally have one.
12. I have learned to stand up for my beliefs, at least a little bit.

Limping Is Sexy, Right?

I have been doing the same workout every day for over a year now and was getting really good results. Recently it seems like I've reached a bit of a plateau, so two days ago I decided to do another one in addition to the one I was already doing. I woke up yesterday and felt like I had pulled every muscle in my legs. What did I do? Why the same two workouts again, of course. So today I'm hobbling around like I got hit by a car. And you know what? I'm going to do it again today too. Tomorrow I'll probably have to drag myself around with my arms.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Is There a Company Somewhere That Hires People to Go Around Kicking the Shit Out of Factory Farmers?

I could be wrong here, but don't most people have a dream job? Doesn't almost every person on the planet have a job that they want to do, even if it's completely unrealistic? I truly don't know what I would do, even if I could choose any job in the world. I have given this a lot of thought because, if I could find it, I would do ANYTHING to get it, but it just doesn't exists. I want to do something truly meaningful, that will allow me to help animals (and maybe people) but that is also exciting. When I say exciting, I really mean life-threatening. I want a job where, at the end of the day, my soul is fulfilled and my heart is pounding.

Just Glad They Aren't Me.

It seems like my entire life is one giant annoyance. Nothing really terrible ever happens to me (which is good, I guess) but every little pain in the ass thing that could possibly go wrong does, on a daily basis. Every time I start bitching about the stupid little things that happen to me, I always wonder if I am just being dramatic. Maybe everyone's life is like this, and they just don't talk about it. So one time I'm telling my sister about all the ridiculous little aggravations I encountered that day and she says "you know there are starving kids in Africa." I think, "okay, she's right. I'm just making a big deal about nothing. " Then she says "and they're just glad they aren't you." Obviously this is a bit of an exaggeration, and probably a bit offensive, but it does make me feel better to know that I'm not just being overly sensitive. My life really is as bad as I think it is.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Funny, Universe. Real Fucking Funny.

I find it to be a bit of a cruel cosmic joke that I both love animals and hate germs. I feel like I'm constantly cleaning up, and frequently stepping in, shit, piss or puke. My dog has this weird skin condition that causes him to smell awful and have flaky, itchy skin. He sleeps in bed with me, so my bed is always full of stinky dog skin flakes. Sometimes while I'm sleeping he likes to move up and lay right next to my face. My cat climbs in the toilet every time we forget to close the lid and then walks on me with little, wet, toilet feet. Petunia, one of my pigs, gets overly enthusiastic when she eats and gets food up  her nose. Then she comes up to me, looking for her treats, and snorts, spraying me with a combination of snot and pig food. I feel like I'm going to catch the fucking Ebola Virus, and I'm not even sure it exists anymore. Thanks, Universe.

Sugar and Spice and ....I Don't Know ....Battery Acid?

I swear I'm more of a guy than any guy I've ever known. I don't do any of the things that girls are expected to do. I don't know how to be cute or flirty. I pride myself on being strong and tough and able to do things by myself. I refuse to get emotional. If I'm going to talk about my problems I will do so in a matter if fact way. I HATE crying. I don't do it and get incredibly uncomfortable when other people do. I don't like shopping or going to the spa or getting my hair done. I don't understand all of that cutesy stuff that girls always do when they're in a relationship. Why should having a boyfriend cause you to act like a five year old? I'm not into fashion. I buy my clothes at Goodwill and wear them until they get holes in them. I have a twisted sense of humor and it's nearly impossible to offend me. You would think guys would like a girl who doesn't do any of the annoying shit that girls usually do, but you would be wrong.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Black Sheep and Flying Pigs

I have often thought that I would like to write a memoir (That word sounds sort of pretentious, but I'm not sure autobiography sounds any better.) because I feel like there have been some aspects of my life that some people might find interesting. Then I remember that it would have the wort ending ever. I would go through all of these semi-interesting events and then conclude with "and now I have no idea what I'm doing with my life." I just hope that someday something happens to me that would make a good end for a story.

My Vegan Superpower

How pathetic is it that one of the things I'm most proud of in my life is my pain tolerance? There are few things that boost my self-esteem as much as being able to do something that other people can't do because it hurts too much. I remember once, back when I was in college the first time, I was with a group of "friends" (I'm not going to go into the reason I put that word in quotes. Maybe later.) and one of them brought one of those trick lighters that shock you when you try to strike them. They all took turns passing it around, pushing the button, then immediately throwing it down, often with a shout. After they were done, I picked it up held the button down for probably close to thirty seconds then calmly placed it on the table. They all started at me like I was psychotic, but I felt like a fucking superhero. I have also been shot with a paintball and consumed a spoonful of pepper spray for the same reason, just to prove that I could do it without flinching.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

This Is Probably Not Healthy

I am unavoidably drawn to people (real or fictional) who are terribly and irreparably damaged. I don't know what it is, but there is just something so appealing to me about people who are completely fucked up. I think maybe it's that I try so hard to keep my multitude of issues in check, that I find it sort of cathartic to be around those who don't. I am attracted to those who dare to be, on the outside, the deranged mess that I am on the inside. But alas, the percentage of people in the world who are both deranged and vegan is probably near zero.

And All that Was Left Was a Pile of Ash and a To-Do List with Nothing Checked Off

Lately I have had this strange feeling like there is something I'm supposed to be doing. It's like that anxious, nervous, overly energetic feeling you get when you have something really important to do and you're running late. The problem is, I have absolutely nothing going on. My whole life, I have always said that I just want to make a difference in the world and now it's seems my whole body is just creaming that it's tired of waiting. I have this overwhelming urge to do something meaningful, specifically something related to animal rights, but also something physically challenging. It's like my mind, my body and my soul are all feeling painfully underutilized. Unfortunately, I still have no idea what to do. So now I just constantly feel like I'm about to spontaneously combust. Fantastic.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Intangible Things

Our world is defined by intangible things; our commonalities, our differences, the invisible threads that tie us all together, the untouchable walls that keep us apart, the inexplicable shutters that open to allow some of us to see the truth and keep others forever blind. We fill our lives with things we can see or touch or taste but the things that matter are the ones which can never be known or understood.

Sort of an Androgynous Gunslinging Space Vampire?

A lot of people take style cues from magazines, fashion designers or their favorite celebrities; I get mine from my favorite sci fi/ fantasy characters. Right now I'm going for sort of a Zoe meets Mitchell look (with a few vegan/animal rights accessories of course).

This could have something to do with why I'm single.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

What Fucking Species am I?

I suck at this whole human thing. I swear, sometimes I feel like I don't even speak the same language. I try to talk to people, even people who supposedly know me well, and they just look at me like I'm insane. I just find so many aspects of life to be so incredibly boring and inconsequential.

Happy Whatever

The holidays always remind me how far removed I am from the rest of society. It seems that for most people there are two approaches to the holidays 1 embrace the whole family togetherness thing, or 2 get drunk. Neither of those things appeal to me. Of course a large part of the problem I have with the holidays comes from the fact that I refuse to ignore the inherent hypocrisy in celebrating "peace on earth" while millions of animals are being killed for some ridiculous feast, but that part I'm okay with. I decided a couple of years ago that I am not going to do the family dinner thing anymore because I can't stand to just sit there and pretend that I don't mind that they're eating an innocent animal. What bothers me is when I try to do things that I don't have any moral objection to and still can't seem to find any enjoyment in them. But oh well, happy holidays.      

Monday, December 24, 2012

I Will Go all River Tam on Your Ass

A while back, in my communication class we did group presentations. One group did their presentation on why they DON'T support equal rights for women. One of the reasons they gave, all of which were completely idiotic by the way, went something like this "Girls, if you punch your boyfriend do you really want him to be able to punch you back?" I want any guys who are out there to know this; if I ever punch you, I fully expect you to punch me back. Just like if you ever punch me, you can expect me to kick the shit out of you. I don't feel that the fact that I'm a women in any way entitles me to violence without repercussions.

Good Morning Sunshine

So this morning I slept several hours longer than I had intended to, which pretty much fucked up my schedule for the whole day. Then I dropped my reusable coffee filter out the window and had to drink coffee filtered through a paper towel. Fantastic.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

I Beg to Differ

I find it quite disconcerting when people claim that cursing indicates a limited vocabulary. I myself am proof to the contrary. I happen to posses both a rather extensive vocabulary and an affinity for curse words. So fuck you.


I long for adventure in my life. I want to run from danger. I want to save the day. I want to laugh with relief after I don't die when I was so sure I was going to. I wan to fight for what I believe in, literally not figuratively. I want to change the world with my own two hands.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Let's Get to Know Each Other, Shall We?

I'll start.

5 facts everyone should know about me.
1. I'm a vegan.
2. My goal in life is to do whatever I can to further animal rights.
3. I am in college, studying Psychology.
4. I write so I can feel like I'm connecting with people.
5. I have two dogs, one cat and two pigs (real pigs, not mini-pigs)

5 facts almost no one knows about me.
1.  I never sing around other people, unless the radio is so loud that it drowns me out, but I sing almost constantly when I'm alone.
2. If I really like a TV show/movie/book I will write myself into it, in my head, and come up with storylines for myself. (my real life is painfully dull)
3. A small part of me really believes that someday my life will be like those TV shows/movies/books.
4. I have never been in a physical fight in my life but I really want to, just to see how good I would be at it.
5. When I'm really pissed I tend to punch inanimate objects.

5 embarrassing facts about me
1. I have had a grand total of one romantic relationship in my life.
2. A few years ago I wrote a book of very bad poetry.
3. A while back, I applied for a job as a stripper and they never called me.
4. I once drove a car off a bridge.
5. Two of my toes are grown together.

5 other random facts about me
1. I workout every morning and if I ever skip it I stress about it all day.
2. I almost never offer information about myself but, if you ask, I will tell you pretty much anything.
3. I was homeschooled most of my childhood.
4. I love tattoos. I have eight and would have many more if I could afford them.
5. I am so socially awkward that I find it nearly impossible to make eye contact with people.

So there you have it, pretty much everything you would ever want to know about me. If anyone else feels like sharing, please do so! Also, feel free to friend me on Facebook.

Thanks for reading!

Welcome to My New Blog!

I have started multiple blogs in the past and I never manage to stick with them for any length of time.So I am going to do things a bit differently this time. For one thing, I have always tried to write only about animal rights issues and veganism but I find that becomes difficult for me and, I think, boring for my readers. So this blog will still cover animal rights an veganism, but not exclusively. Another issue I tend to have is making my posts too long. Trying to say too much at once makes my posts seem daunting both for me to write and for others to read. So here's the new plan, at least one short post everyday about whatever I think is interesting at the time.

 Here are some things you can expect to see on this blog:

 1. Posts about animal rights and veganism.
 2. Posts about Psychology.
 3. Angry rants.
 4. Painful awkwardness.
 5. General nerdiness.
 6. Posts about health and fitness.
 7. Unnecessary cursing.
 8. Over-enthusiasm about things that probably don't matter.
 9. Under-enthusiasm about things that probably do matter.
 10. Random lists.

 Thanks for reading!