Tree Climbing and Other Childish Things (Video)

I just felt like acting like a dip-shit today. 

Adjustments

It's so weird to me how quickly we get used to certain things; you deal with something for a little while and then all of a sudden it's the norm and you don't even notice anymore. (Of course, this only works for some things. There are always the things that you never do get used to, but I talk about that enough.)

The last couple of days the weather has been significantly cooler here. Not cold, by any means, just cooler. And I have been freezing my ass off! Today it is in the seventies outside and I'm wearing a long-sleeved shirt. I hate long-sleeved shirts, I never wear them unless I absolutely have to. Last night I think it got down into the upper forties. All through last winter, I slept with my window cracked at least a little almost every night. Last night I woke up and closed the window all the way and added a second blanket to my bed, even though I have been sleeping with just a sheet for the last couple of months.

It just always amazes me how differently our bodies (and our minds) interpret things based on what has been happening recently. I know damn well that a couple of months ago this weather would have felt amazing, but since it has been upward of ninety degrees lately, I feel like I'm going to freeze to death. It's not even like I got used to being comfortable and am now uncomfortable, the heat hasn't been particularly pleasant either, it's just that something different is happening and now my body is convinced that it is now winter.

Well...if I had a tail, it would be.

Pretty Twisted

I don't even remember how this came about, but a few days ago my mom and I were talking about nightmares. I said that most of the dreams that I actually remember (which is a pretty small number) are what most people would probably consider nightmares. Usually I seem to dream about awful things happening. Yet, I don't mind them the way I imagine most people do. The truth is, my real life is so fucking boring that I would rather be chased by a serial killer or something than wake up and do fucking dishes, and laundry, and whatever other meaningless bullshit I have planned for that day. This is not a healthy attitude. Oh well, at least I still have a few Deadpool comics left to read, and they released the trailer for Supernatural season 11. As long as I can immerse myself in enough fiction, I can usually (usually) tune out real-life enough to get through the day.

Ant-Man

My mom, my sister, and I went to see Ant-Man today. I'm sure you will all be surprised to hear this, but I loved it! (perhaps I'm not the most objective when it comes to Marvel movies, because I think I say that about all of them but, seriously, this movies was really great.) We ended up being the only three people in the whole theater, which I though was really sad. I mean, I know it's already been out for a while, and we did go to the 3:30 showing, but still, why aren't you going to see this movie, people? Here are the reasons why you should go watch it-

1- Marvel has a rather incredible knack for taking things that should be ridiculous and making them super fucking cool. I mean seriously, anything called "Ant-Man" should be totally stupid right? Wrong!
2- As always, Paul Rudd was fantastic. Also, he obviously put a good bit of effort into getting into superhero-worthy shape.
3- Scott Lang is a really cool and interesting character.
4- Scott's daughter is fucking adorable. For example, at one point he gives her the creepiest looking toy rabbit I have ever seen. To which she replies "He's so ugly! I love him!"
5- We get another badass female character, Hope.
6-  I really liked the ants and the fact that they were, at least to some extent, given distinct personalities. I thought this was great, since a lot of people never think twice about killing ants. According to Evangeline Lilly "You could take all of us out of the movie, and it would still be really kick ass if you had the ants. They’re really the best part of the movie."
7- The big fight scene at the end was both intense and totally hilarious. Giant Thomas the tank engine flying through the air anyone?
8- Falcon has a (somewhat small, but still) part, which made me happy because I loved him in the Winter Soldier.
9- Scott has a circle professional criminal friends, who I found quite endearing. ( I don't know, I have a thing for likable criminals).
10- The post credit scene was weird and confusing (in a good way) and left you with an overwhelming need to see Civil War!

Pretty much my response to the post-credit scene^

Updates

I have three updates for you guys- One, boring one, semi-interesting one, and one super exciting one!

The boring one is that I am taking this rib fiasco as a sign from The Powers that I should stop with the fucking sandbags, and go back to doing body weight exercises. I have my new sit-up contraption, which is even more difficult than I had expected. So that should be okay. Now I've been searching frantically for various leg exercises that will work as well as squats with the fifty pound bag. I found a few that feel like they are working pretty well, but I'm still probably going to be spazzing out about it months.

Speaking of my rib, it turns out that, at least according to the chiropractor that I work for, it is not cracked. Well, actually he said "it isn't broken" which I already knew, (I'm fairly certain I would have realized if it was actually broken) but I assume he would have told me if it was cracked too. Unfortunately, that doesn't really do me much good since it's obviously still fucked up. It does seem to be getting slightly better though, so I guess that's good. That was the semi-interesting update, by the way.

Now for the super exciting update! They finally released the official Deadpool trailer (Loud squealing noise) and it is amazing!

No stupid rib is going to stop me!

What Would You Do If I Sang Out of Tune?

This is something I've been thinking about doing pretty much ever since I started the video blog, but every time I start to do it, I pussy out. You know how I have said multiple times that I pretty much sing all the time, when I'm alone? But that I never sing in front of other people, because I really have no idea if I can sing or not? Furthermore, how one of the things on my bucket list is to sing in front of people? Well, I think I am going to sing in a video, and let you guys tell me, once and for all, whether I suck or not. I'm serious, I want honest opinions. I mean you don't have to berate me or anything, but a letter grade or a scale of 1 to 10 would be great! I will also settle for a thumb-up vs thumb-down, or pass/fail. Just so I'll finally know.

So lend me your ears (on Wednesday) and I'll sing you a song. And if I sing out of key, please tell me so I don't embarrass myself in the future! Also, I'm now half tempted to sing this ^ song, just because at least then it might be kind of funny if I suck. I probably won't though; I'm actually leaning toward Just Before It Gets Dark.

Homeward Bound

My camper is officially on it's way! So it should be here sometime this evening. I'm still trying not to get overly excited until it's actually sitting in my yard, but the fact that the guy did manage to pick it up and get it on the road seems like a pretty good sign. Once it gets here, we will still have a shit-ton of work to do before I can live in it, but I think I really am on my way to having my own home (small and shitty though it may be).

The more I think about how nice it will be to have my own space, where I can do things the way I want to, the more I think that it will make a huge difference in my life. I truly feel like I will be much less angry and on-edge than I am now, if I can just do things my own way in my own "house". Who knows maybe I'll even get to the point where I truly think of it as home.

I guess I'm not so much homeward bound as my home is meward bound, but close enough.

Ⓥ Vegan Superheroes

Today, I found some seriously cool vegans that I wanted to tell everyone about. I started out looking for Tim Shieff's Facebook page (the link is actually to his YouTube page, because he has some great videos you should all check out). He is an amazing athlete who often speaks out about veganism and animal rights issues.

Anyway, when I found it, I started scrolling through his feed and found a link to a page run by a friend of his who is a vegan stunt man. It's called We See You, and it's full of beautiful images of farmed animals. The goal of the page is to change the way people perceive these animals.

From there, Facebook recommended that I check out Casey Michaels' page. She is another vegan stunt person and apparently she was actually Scarlet Johansson's stunt double in Age of Ultron. So yeah, the real Black Widow? the one who pulled off all of those amazing moves? Vegan! She was also Hit Girl's double on Kickass 2. Plus, she makes a point to proclaim her veganism on her page by calling herself a "vegan stunt performer."

I am always happy to find any public figures who are vegan, especially when they are as open about why they are vegan, as these people are. I am particularly excited though to find people who also manage to prove that veganism can be an asset to the individual as well as to animals and the planet. These people do things that the average person can't even imagine being able to do, and they do them while maintaining a compassionate lifestyle. These are true superheroes, in every sense of the word! They have skills and abilities far beyond those of regular people and they dedicate themselves to protecting the innocent. What could be more heroic than that?  

Pretty sure that's actually Casey.

Home

I just thought I would go ahead and explain to all of you why having my own space is so important to me that I'm willing to go through all of this fucking hassle just to get a shitty, thirty year old, camper to live in. The things is, I haven't had a place that feels like home to me since.....well....forever. I mean, I'm sure there was a time when I was a kid that I felt at home in my house, but I don't remember it. As long as I can remember, I have been trying to squeeze myself, and my life, and all my stuff, into someone else's space. I've never had a place where I felt comfortable. I've never had a place where I felt at home. I've never had a place that was mine. I need a retreat, a sanctuary, a place where I can go to feel at ease when I just can't deal with the world anymore. I need to know that there is one single place in the world where I can go where I won't have to pretend, or tip-toe around, or try to work my way around other people's stuff. I just need that feeling of home.

To Be (In Debt) or Not to Be (In Debt)?

You remember when I mentioned that I was thinking about taking a nutrition class? Well, I'm seriously starting to think about doing it. I just feel like I need to do something with my life. I need to find some way to make some sort of progress. I'm still not sure that it's something that will be particularly fulfilling for me but, at the very least, it should give me some useful information. The problem is, it will put me even further in debt. I'm almost, almost, done paying off my first student loan (from massage therapy school) and it just seems kind of stupid to immediately add more debt right back on. So what do you guys think? Worth it?

While (obviously) not the same line, this is David Tennant as Hamlet.

Luck or .......Something Else?

Yesterday, a client was telling me about all of the times he had been in the emergency room. I'm really not sure how we ended up talking about that, but it was a rather interesting conversation. After he had gone through this whole list of different injuries and whatnot, I said that I had never been in the emergency room (in fact, I've never been in the hospital at all). He said "You're really lucky." and I was like "Yeah, I guess I am." but the truth is, I think luck had very little to do with it. I'm fairly certain the fact that I have never been in the hospital is due to a combination of taking excellent care of my health and extreme stubbornness.

As I have mentioned, many times, I don't get sick nearly as often (or nearly as badly) as other people. I also think that, on the rare occasions (or the more frequent occasions from back before I was so concerned with being healthy) that I have been much more calm about it than a lot of people. When I was young, I used to get sore throats a lot, and the doctor wanted me to get my tonsils taken out but my parents and I decided against it, and it worked out just fine. There was also the time, back when I was at WVU, when I had a sinus infection for like months and my mom swears that, at one point, it looked like one of my eyes was bulging out of the socket. Again, it eventually went away. I mean it seems to me that in most cases, people get sick, then they get better, why bother with the hospital?

There have been times in my life though, when the sane thing to do probably would have been to go to the emergency room. I know there are plenty of times when I probably should have gotten stitches. There was that time, when I was a kid, that I stepped on a rusty thumb tack and a couple of days later my foot got all red, and swollen, and hot, and I had red stripes running up my leg. There was the time I drove my car off a bridge; I wasn't actually very injured (aside from the air-bag burn all over my face), but I just feel like most people probably would have gotten checked out anyway. There was the time, not so long ago, when I punched a door and got that huge, bulbous, fluid-filled knot on my hand. It turned out to be fine, but at the time I thought I might have permanently ruined it. Not to mention the big, weird, knobby thing that's always on my hand.

I guess what I'm saying is, I'm not so much "lucky" as I am an exceptionally healthy dumb-ass. Plus........

So Cool

A few days ago, I rented The Wolverine from Redbox and today I finally got around to watching it. It was good; I thoroughly enjoyed it. What I enjoyed more though was finding what I think is my new favorite, comic-based, character; Yukio. She is fucking fantastic! Everything about her is just so incredibly badass. First of all, she is an amazing fighter. She saves Logan's ass on multiple occasions. Second, her weapon of choice is a sword, which is definitely what I would choose. Third, she is super brave and not in that "I want to go with you, but then you have to drop what you're doing and come save me when I get in trouble." way that a lot of female characters in these kinds of movies are.

Fourth, she and I have practically the same sense of style. Those boots look just like mine. I had those same socks a few years ago and wore them util there was nothing left of them. I had my hair that color for years, and probably still would if mine didn't fade to obnoxious pink after about a week. I even lover her coat; assuming that's not real sheep, which I'm fairly certain it's not. 

P.S. At the beginning of this movie, Logan gets into a fight with a dumbass hunter who killed his bear friend. This automatically gets it a thumbs up from me. It was still really good after that too though. 

Now There's an Idea!

I just suddenly remembered that I totally forgot to write a post for today. It's not like I have anything exciting to talk about anyway, but I thought I should get something down here. So here's this. I've been on a serious superhero kick lately. I recently realized that I am just a natural born multitasker and that I have a hard time doing just one thing at a time, especially things that are time consuming and/or difficult. My mind gets bored or frustrated and I just end up giving up on whatever it was that I was trying to do. Well since, lately, I have been trying to teach myself how to do all of these new things, sculpting, drawing, making utility-belts, etc, I've been watching movies to keep my mind occupied whilst I struggle endlessly with the things I'm trying to make. For whatever reason I have been mostly interested in watching superhero movies. I already had some and I bought quite a few more from various discount movie bins. So far it has been working pretty well. I don't even notice that it takes me for-fucking-ever to make really small, unimportant, things. An unfortunate side-effect is that I keep finding myself thinking "Hey, you know what would be a lot more fun than making misshapen mugs? Being a fucking superhero!"

Today I watched Daredevil. I found it fairly enjoyable. Plus, I'm thinking that if you can get superpowers just by going blind.........that one seems kind of feasible for me. Just saying. 

Wow! Thanks, Subconscious!

You know how, when you're asleep, sometimes your subconscious will sort of work the things that are happening in the real world into your dreams? Well, here's a good one for you.

I like to sleep with my window slightly open. Usually it's totally fine because the way my window is positioned keeps any rain, or snow, or whatever from coming in. Well apparently last night it was both rainy AND windy, so the rain started blowing in through the window and hitting me in the face while I was sleeping. Would you like to know what my subconscious mind came up with as an explanation for all the little drops of moisture hitting my face? In my dream I (and several other people, though I can't remember who they were) were standing in this dungeon type room. It was basically a huge box made of bricks. I can't remember what the room was supposed to be, or why we were there. What I do remember is that the walls and ceiling suddenly started leaking. That's not so bad, you say. But oh, I'm not done yet. It wasn't water, it was blood. There were little drops of blood dripping out from between the bricks. So yeah, I got rained on in my sleep and my brain decided that the best things it could do with that was to put me in a dungeon and have the walls bleed on me. I'm sure that's totally normal and definitely not a sign of any sort of mental illness or anything.

It's a Good Look

You know what's really stupid? Some days, I wake up in the morning and my makeup looks better than it did when I put it on the previous day. How is that possible? I spend all this time and effort trying to get it to look just right, and it ends up looking sort of meh. Then I sleep in it, and wake up looking better than when I went to bed. It actually looks a lot like that "smokey eye" look that everyone is always talking about. I have actually tried smearing it when I first put it on to get it to look that way, and sometimes it kind of works, but it never comes out quite right. I have actually considered just planning for this and putting my makeup on before I go to bed at night but then, of course, there are the days like today when I wake up looking like The Joker.

Pulling It Off

You know those people who are totally over-the-top, and ridiculous, and possibly insane, but still somehow attractive? The ones who do the weirdest, most absurd, things but you still want to be around them anyway? The ones who never get embarrassed and obviously don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks of them, and somehow that makes people love them? I have always wanted to be one of those people. I think I could do it too. I definitely have the weirdness part down. All I would have to do is stop stifling my natural behaviors. The problem is, I just don't think I have to confidence to pull it off. I have never been able to do anything crazy without getting embarrassed about it, and I don't think it works unless you can do it with no regrets. I think that's the difference between being one of those crazy charismatic people and just being really fucking weird.

Sam, from Garden State, is my hero. 

One Year

Well, it has officially been one year since I started this blog and, as promised, here is my one last secret that I have yet to reveal to all of you. It probably won't seem like much of a secret to most of you, especially considering the multitude of exceptionally personal things I have already discussed here, but it's a pretty big one for me. Here it is; despite the way I act and the immense effort I go to in order to hide it, in a lot of ways, I am a big stereotypical girl and it bugs the shit out of me!

I try to act like I only care about really important things and the only thing that matters to me is trying to make the world a better place.

But sometimes I'm like "I just want somebody to hold my fucking hand!"

Here, for your reading pleasure, is a list of all the ways in which I am just an annoyingly average girl. 

1- Sometimes I just really want someone to tell me I'm pretty. 

2- A part of me still believes in the whole "fairy tale love" bullshit. 

3- I actually do that stupid things that girls do in movies where they dance around their houses when they're home alone. 

I do, at least, wear pants when I do it though. 

4- Good romantic scenes make me really happy and really sad at the same time. 

I couldn't find a picture of the part where he picks her up and spins her around, but holy fuck do I wish someone would be that happy to see me! 

5- I'm constantly comparing myself to other women and taking inventory of our respective good and bad attributes. 

I will never be able to look at her and feel good about myself. 

6- There are certain excessively cheesy love songs that I just can't help but love, no matter how shameful they may be. 

When this song comes on the radio I find myself incapable of turning it off, or of not singing along. 

7- Here's the one that I really REALLY don't want to admit to. Sometimes I actually do cry. Fuck do I hate it! And I never do it when anyone else is around to see, but it does happen. Usually, it's not even for any particular reason either. It's just sort of a "life in general sort of sucks" thing. 

8- I actually think it would be a lot of fun to go dancing, like in a club (gasp!). I would probably give it a try were it not for the fact that I am fairly certain I would just make an ass of myself. 

9- I totally understand every part of this post 

Every part. 

10- Part of me has always wanted, and probably will always want, to be a famous actress/singer/something. 

11- Sometimes I find myself looking at these stupid things and thinking "You know, that probably would be pretty nice." 

I chose this particular one because I think the second picture makes it infinitely funnier. 

12- I have quite a fondness for sexy underwear. 

I especially like this place because their stuff is sexy, badass, and affordable. 

13- As much as I try not to, I get extremely bothered by negative comments, especially ones concerning my appearance. 

I also have a tendency not to forget these comments for, well, ever. 

14- Whenever I happen to be near a mirror, I find that I can't help but check to make sure there's nothing for anyone to say anything negative about. Like obsessively. Usually I find lots of things. 

Too many things. 

15- I really wish I would get hit on sometimes. I mean by someone who isn't three times my age. 

Could somebody look at me like that^ please. 

So there you go, guys. My deepest, darkest secret is that I am, in fact, a girl. 

Thoughts on Love Part 1: What Is the Meaning of This?

So, I had sort of an epiphany yesterday about the meaning of Love. Maybe it's really stupid, but it felt sort of profound to me. I have more to say about it than I feel anyone would care to read in one post, so I'm splitting it up into a series of posts.

I have often wondered, as I'm sure many people have, about what the true meaning of the word "Love" is. I think most would agree that there are a multitude of different types, and different levels, of love. But there is that one type that we are all always searching for. That's the kind that I could never really seem to define for myself. My mom always says that love is "putting the other person's happiness on the same level as your's." This may be a type of love but, as far as I'm concerned, this is the type that we should feel for all other beings, and the world around us. I don't believe that is nearly enough to satisfy the average person's need for Love. So I thought "Maybe it's putting the other person's happiness above your own." but I tend to do that for everyone as well (which I'm sure is super unhealthy). So, maybe it's getting happiness from their happiness? Not quite, that can happen with any random person, from time to time. So what is it then? Well, I think I've finally figured that out (at least for myself). And I'm going to tell you tomorrow.

My People!

For anyone who doesn't know, I have a tattoo that takes up a large part of my forearm. It has pictures of various animals and says "Vegan" underneath. People at work ask me about it all the time. Usually they say "What does your tattoo say?" or "Can I see your tattoo?" When they realize what it says they either say something like "What does veg-un mean?", make a bad joke, or just look all awkward and say "I like it." obviously hoping that will be the end of the conversation.

So last night, this guy comes up to check out with four kids; his wife was still walking around in the store somewhere. As I'm ringing up their stuff, the guys says to the kids "Look at the lady's tattoo." I turned my arm so the kids could see it, thinking he just wanted them to see the pictures of the animals. Then he asks them "Do you know what that says?" One of the kids, who was probably six or seven says "Vegan". I was totally shocked. Not only did this little kid know how to pronounce it, but he said it like he knew exactly what it meant. Then the guy tells me that he and his wife have been vegetarian for years and that none of the kids have ever had meat. YES! They do exist! 

It's the Most Important Part of the Story, the Ending

For quite some time now, I have been thinking that I would like to write a book. Specifically, I've been thinking that I would like to write a memoir. I know what you're thinking "That's a stupid idea! You're always talking about how your life is super boring!" and, yes, you are right. However, despite how bored I am with my life right now, if I cut out all the boring parts and only cover the most interesting things from my entire life in a relatively short book, I think it could be rather compelling. I actually have had some rather unique and unusual experiences, that some people might actually care to hear about. Here's the problem; I have no idea how I would end such a book. I feel like anyone who might read it would want some sort of resolution at the end, and there is absolutely no aspect of my life which has been resolved. I feel like I have to do something, or be something, or at least figure out something before I can write a book about my life. At this point, I feel like if anyone actually read my life to the end they would get to the last page and yell "What the fuck was that!" and throw the book across the room. So come on, Powers That Be, give me some sort of epiphany so I can write my fucking book.

Check it out, you guys. We have the same hair.