Ⓥ Abusive Relationship

Someone in one of the vegan groups I follow on Facebook posted a video, a while back, that really got me thinking about body image in our culture. I know I've talked about this before ( a few times, I think) but, hopefully, this is a slightly different perspective on it. I shared the video at the bottom of the page; you should definitely check it out, if you have a chance. 

The basic idea of the video was that there are all of these video bloggers who are promoting unhealthy ideas about body image, and telling girls how to lose weight in unhealthy ways. They condone everything from extreme calorie restriction to diet pills, and pretend that these things are totally acceptable. The video also points out that many of the followers of these blogs are very young and these women are helping them to develop destructive habits very early in life that are likely to cause serious health problems later on. 

I have heard this argument many times before, that our culture puts too much pressure on women, and especially young girls, to be skinny and that it creates a whole society of women who hate their bodies. This video had a slightly different take on it though. Instead of just telling us to love our bodies as they are, he recommends a different set of bloggers who offered advice on healthy ways to take care of your body. These people tell us to eat better food, not less food, and advise their followers to keep their bodies healthy, not skinny. 

I think this is something that needs to be discussed more often. It seems like our culture has two setting, when it comes to body image. There is the group that tells you that you need to be skinny, and there is the side that tells you to "love your body". Well, I agree wholeheartedly that we should love our bodies, but I feel like that means something else to me than it does to most people. It seems like a lot of people who claim to "love" their bodies, don't really do a whole lot to take care of them. 

To me, claiming to love your body while depriving it of the things it needs, like healthy food and exercise, sounds an awful lot like an abusive relationship. Saying "I love you" while abusing or neglecting the one you claim to love is not really love. If we truly want to love our bodies, we should absolutely stop starving them and hating them for not looking the way we want them to, but we should also do what is necessary to keep them healthy, like giving them proper nutrients and exercise and not filling them up with foods full of chemicals, grease, sugars, cholesterol, and other nasty things. 

Another thing to consider when talking about loving your body is the fact that our bodies aren't these separate things that we can observe from a distance. Our bodies are us. Whether you believe there is more to us than our physical bodies or not, I think we can all agree that, at least for the duration of our lifetime, we are inextricably tied to our bodies. So loving your body, also involves loving yourself as a whole. To me, this means being the kind of person who I can love; doing what I know is right. 

As far as I'm concerned, giving my body what it needs to be healthy and giving myself what I need to feel good about the person I am (mostly) come down to the same thing, veganism. Animal based foods are bad for our bodies, our minds, and our souls. They contribute to (if not outright cause) a multitude of illnesses, force us to ignore the basic facts about these products to justify continuing to eat them, and cause a sense of guilt and shame that we may not acknowledge but is there just the same. 

So, please check out the video and think about your own feelings about your body. You can decide for yourself what it truly means to "love your body" but try to remember how you express love in any other situation. Then ask yourself if the relationship you have with your body is really one of love or of abuse. 

Perhaps I Should Fear After All

You know how I have been putting carolina reapers in my food lately? And that they weren't as hot as I expceted? Well, I think I may have been mistaken. I ate them in my food everday for several weeks, and really liked the flavor. Then, a few days ago, I noticed that I had this big wound on the inside of my mouth. It was like I had bitten my lip three or four times right next to each other. I kept wondering how I had done it; I thought maybe I had been chewing on my lips in my sleep or something. Then I noticed that it burned like hell when I ate the teff with the reapers in it, and thought "Hmmmm....I wonder....." So I did a little experiment. I tried chewing the teff exclusively on the other side of my mouth (because, apparently, I chew much more on the right than on the left?) and by the next day, it was kind sore and raw on that side. Then I started thinking that, if they were doing that to the inside of my mouth, what the fuck were they doing to the rest of my body? Scalding me from the inside out? Liquefying my organs? Who knows. So yeah.....no more reapers for a while (alas!). It's been, I think, five days and my mouth is almost entirely back to normal. So that's good I guess.

If I had sontinued eating then, I think there is a chance that I would have ended up like one of the vampires from True Blood. 

Another Bright Idea

Yesterday my mom, my sister and I went to pick blueberries. I thought that it might be nice to dry some of my own fruit. See, I eat a shit-ton of raisins and I've been wanting to try something else, but everything is just too fucking expensive. So instead, I thought I would buy a dehydrator, then spend a couple hours picking berries, then pay eighteen dollars a gallon for them, then spend many hours letting them dry, after which they will most likely not add up to enough to last me for more than a week. Yet another of my brilliant ideas in action.

Also, the blueberry bushes were covered in weird, angry caterpillars. Like these^.

Ⓥ The Great Divide

I feel like one of the greatest divisions in the vegan community is between those who believe in natural health and those who support modern medicine. At times it seems there is this, sort of, war between the two sides. The medical side seems to be especially critical of the natural side; often accusing them of being irrational, uneducated, or downright crazy. They seem to think that people who choose natural health over conventional medicine give us a bad name.

I will admit, there are those who I believe take natural health a bit too far, putting too much stock in things that don't make a lot of logical sense. However, for the most part, I tend to side with them anyway, and here's why. First and foremost, the entirety of the medical/pharmaceutical industries are dependent upon animal-testing. I, for one, will do anything and everything to avoid supporting such a horrible and unnecessary practice. It is true that there are some natural health companies that conduct animal-testing as well but there are also many that do not, and there are quite a few of these companies that are entirely vegan, or at least vegan friendly.

The other reason is (and you don't even have to be interested in animal rights to understand this one) modern medicine, and the pharmaceutical industry especially, thrive because of illness. If people don't get sick, they don't make any money. That has to make you wonder "Who's best interest are they really focusing on here?" You see, medications in general aren't meant to make you healthy, they are meant to make you feel just healthy enough to keep coming back for more. They don't want to prevent illness, they don't even want to cure it, they just want to treat the symptoms so that you have no choice but to spend absurd amounts of money to keep buying more and more of their product.

If the drug companies were actually trying to help people, there wouldn't be commercials for their products on TV to convince people that they need to be medicated for things that are often just normal parts of being alive. If doctors were actually trying to help people, they wouldn't be pushing these products on everyone who comes into their offices. The companies that make these drugs and the doctors who prescribe them are both working to keep us all just sick enough to think we need the medications and just healthy enough to believe they're working.

Obviously, the people who sell natural health products are also trying to make money, but there are a few distinct differences. First of all, there is not nearly as much money involved. I don't know about you but, from my experience, the more money is on the line the more immoral people tend to become. Second, most natural health products are designed to actually prevent or cure health problems, not just lessen the symptoms. Even the ones that are used to simply treat symptoms are usually, at least, intended to also make the symptoms less severe over time, whereas medication often requires progressively higher doses to keep the symptoms under control.

So yes, maybe some of the proponents of natural health are a little out there, and some of them believe in things that don't necessarily make sense. I believe their intentions are good though. Besides, what harm can it really do to believe in things that may or may not work? Even ineffective herbs and vitamins are probably not going to due any real harm. So, personally, I'll trust the people who I think are actually out to help me to stay healthy not just help themselves to stay rich.

So what if some of us are a little crazy? 

Luck or .......Something Else?

Yesterday, a client was telling me about all of the times he had been in the emergency room. I'm really not sure how we ended up talking about that, but it was a rather interesting conversation. After he had gone through this whole list of different injuries and whatnot, I said that I had never been in the emergency room (in fact, I've never been in the hospital at all). He said "You're really lucky." and I was like "Yeah, I guess I am." but the truth is, I think luck had very little to do with it. I'm fairly certain the fact that I have never been in the hospital is due to a combination of taking excellent care of my health and extreme stubbornness.

As I have mentioned, many times, I don't get sick nearly as often (or nearly as badly) as other people. I also think that, on the rare occasions (or the more frequent occasions from back before I was so concerned with being healthy) that I have been much more calm about it than a lot of people. When I was young, I used to get sore throats a lot, and the doctor wanted me to get my tonsils taken out but my parents and I decided against it, and it worked out just fine. There was also the time, back when I was at WVU, when I had a sinus infection for like months and my mom swears that, at one point, it looked like one of my eyes was bulging out of the socket. Again, it eventually went away. I mean it seems to me that in most cases, people get sick, then they get better, why bother with the hospital?

There have been times in my life though, when the sane thing to do probably would have been to go to the emergency room. I know there are plenty of times when I probably should have gotten stitches. There was that time, when I was a kid, that I stepped on a rusty thumb tack and a couple of days later my foot got all red, and swollen, and hot, and I had red stripes running up my leg. There was the time I drove my car off a bridge; I wasn't actually very injured (aside from the air-bag burn all over my face), but I just feel like most people probably would have gotten checked out anyway. There was the time, not so long ago, when I punched a door and got that huge, bulbous, fluid-filled knot on my hand. It turned out to be fine, but at the time I thought I might have permanently ruined it. Not to mention the big, weird, knobby thing that's always on my hand.

I guess what I'm saying is, I'm not so much "lucky" as I am an exceptionally healthy dumb-ass. Plus........

Ⓥ Tips and Tricks Part 1; Food

I've been vegan for over ten years now and, while I know I take the whole thing a bit farther than most vegans do, I feel like I have, over the years, acquired a fair amount of useful knowledge. So I just thought I would share some helpful tips with you. This is information that I feel would be of use to anyone who is new to veganism, is thinking of becoming vegan, or is simply interested in limiting their contribution to animal exploitation.

1-Whenever anyone asks me for advice on becoming vegan, the first thing I always say is "Buy a rice cooker." Honestly, this appliance has been the most useful thing I have ever owned. I have never found a single grain that doesn't cook perfectly in my rice-cooker, and without any real effort on my part. It doesn't just have to be grains either; for the most part, you can just throw all of your ingredients in there at the same time, and just leave them until it shuts off. Seriously, it will change your life.

2- I, personally, do not like to cook (hence my reliance on the rice-cooker) but, if you do like to cook, Pinterest is probably the best place to find vegan recipes. Just type in "vegan" at the top, and I guarantee you will find endless delicious recipes for anything you could imagine.

3- When it comes to buying vegan and cruelty-free products (without unlimited financial resources), I find that the secret is to know where to shop. Two of my favorite places to shop for vegan food and other products are Vitacost and iHerb. They both have similar products, but each has some that the other doesn't and the price differs one way or the other between the two, depending on the product. Still, it is well worth a little checking back and forth to get good quality stuff without spending a ton of money.

4- Personally, I like to keep things simple (again, cooking is not my thing) so I tend to have a few basic staple foods that I rely on. I think my very favorite staple foods are nut and seed butters, especially almond butter. They are delicious in pretty much any way you want to use them; sandwiches, dips, sauces, spreads, whatever.

5- Another great staple food I found recently is teff. If you haven't heard of it, it's a tiny grain from Ethiopia that is full of all sorts of nutrients, and very high in protein. It tends to cook into a big clump, but if you just fluff it with a fork it gets a really nice sort of couscous-like texture. I love it!

6- Anyone who has been vegan for any length of time probably knows about nutritional yeast. It is a great way to add a slightly cheesy taste to any food. Plus, again, full of great nutrients (including the elusive B12). Also, most cats absolutely love the stuff. This was the only way I got my, exceptionally picky, cat on a vegan diet.

7- Speaking of vegan companion animals, Evolution Diet is the best vegan "pet" food around. I won't pretend that it's cheap, but it's worth the price. My animals have all done remarkably well on it, and are healthier than they ever were on meat-based foods. A lot of other people have had similar experiences.

8- For the longest time, I refused to use any sort of protein supplement because I didn't want it to seem like I thought my diet was deficient in any way. I absolutely still stand by that, I easily get everything I need in order to be healthy with no help from supplements. However, when I started working out more, I realized that all of these meat-eaters who work out were drinking protein shakes in order to build muscle. So I thought "if they can do it without people assuming their diets are deficient, then so can I!" I've been drinking Sunwarrior for several months now, and it has definitely made a huge difference for me. It took some getting used to because, as I said, I've never had protein powder before, but I've grown to really enjoy the stuff.

9- If you're looking for a quick, healthy, vegan snack, I recommend larabars. Most of them are made of only fruit and nuts, and they taste great. Be careful though, they used to all be vegan but they have come out with a few new flavors that aren't. Just look for "vegan" on the label.

10- Probably the most expensive, and unnecessary product I buy is Solar Energy Gum. The way I see it though, if chewing gum is my only real vice, I can afford to splurge a bit on it. You might not guess it, but vegan gum is kind of hard to find, and even when it is vegan it's still usually full of nasty chemicals. This one is healthy though, and has a ton of B vitamins to help give you energy (hence the name). Okay, this isn't really a food, but close enough.

Hand-stand Push-ups (Video)

I couldn't think of anything good to do for my video this week, so I filmed myself (kind of) doing hand-stand push-ups. I don't know if you guys remember, but that was one of my goals for this year. I can't quite do them properly yet, but I think it's still the most impressive thing I've got right now. Also, you can get a look at the hole (well, one of the holes) I knocked in my wall.

In case you guys were wondering why I always post an image that looks exactly like the video, it's because Pinterest won't let me pin videos from here. I have no idea why. 

Just What I Was Hoping For

For the past several weeks, I have been desperately searching for a new pair of Mitchell

Gloves (which is what I call those fingerless gloves). I had several pairs of the knitted ones, but they are all starting to wear out and I kind of wanted some that were vinyl or something, so that it wouldn't look quite as weird if I continued to wear them once the weather clears up. Anyway, once again, I ran into the problem of all the ones I like being leather, and/or super expensive, and/or from overseas. I finally found some that I liked in L.A. (still a little farther than I would like, but I was willing to deal with it) for, get this, $4.99! and free shipping! I was so happy that I bought two pairs, so I would have an extra. Well, they arrived a couple of days ago and I couldn't wait to try them on! When I took them out of the envelop, the first thing I noticed was a big WARNING stick which informed me that they contained chemicals which may cause cancer. I found that a bit disconcerting, but I was willing to overlook it. Them I tried them on and realized that, not only would they apparently give me hand cancer, but they made me look like I already had it. They were sown crooked so they had (obviously unintentional) holes everywhere, they were completely square, and they were several sizes too big (despite being "one size fits all"). Basically, they made it look like I had giant robot hands that had torn through my gloves in random places. Yeah, yeah, I know "you get what you pay for" fuck you.

Mitchell^.....................Gloves^                 

Absolutely True Rumors

I just had to share this with you guys. I recently discovered this lip balm called Crazy Rumors and it is completely amazing and you should buy some right now! All of their products are vegan, cruelty-free and all natural and, I'm telling you, this is the best stuff I have ever put on my lips. I haven't even been wearing lipstick lately because 1- I don't want anything else on them but this stuff and 2- They look so much better that I really don't feel like I need it anymore. They have about a million different flavors to choose from and it feels incredible and has managed to fix even my nasty, dried up lips. I bought the Red Velvet Cake flavor a while back and have used it obsessively ever since. It is absolutely delicious, though it does taste a bit more like Tootsie Rolls than cake to me. So, since it is nearly gone already, I decided to order the Mocha flavor. It just came yesterday, and holy fuck does it smell amazing! Also, all their stuff is surprisingly affordable. Just Saying.

Chronic Politeness

I truly believe that the best way to be happy with yourself is to make a point to cultivate characteristics that you respect in others, and to try to overcome the ones you don't respect. I have been making a conscious effort to do this for some time now, and I believe that it has made a huge difference in my self-esteem. At this point, there are very few things that I am ashamed of. There is still one thing though that I just can't seem to get past. I just cannot seem to get over this whole doormat mentality that I have. All the people I respect most tend to be those who don't take shit from anybody; people who stand up for themselves, their beliefs and other beings. I seem to have what you might call "chronic politeness" I am compelled to be polite to people, even when they are being complete dicks to me, and I HATE that about myself.

Last night this woman came into Goodwill and was looking at the jewelry counter. I was standing there waiting to see if she would want me to get anything out for her. She asks to see my tattoo (the Vegan one) and when I show it to her she says, and I quote "Oh that's terrible." and shakes her head slowly. I honestly laughed, I was so taken aback. I mean, I have had people ask to see my tattoo and then not know what to say when they see what it is, but never has anyone expressed such blunt disapproval. Then she says "I have some friends who are vegans (I would just like to say that she may well know some vegans but, considering her attitude toward them, I would be willing to bet that they don't think of her as a friend.). You can usually tell who's a vegan because they're always scrawny like you." I really, REALLY wanted to punch her in the face. I seriously considered telling her that I think her concept of a healthy weight is a bit skewed (she was at least 30 pounds overweight), and/or dropping to the floor and doing 20 or 30 push-ups to show her how fucking "scrawny" I am. Instead, I just rang up her stuff and told her to have a nice night. I then proceeded to berate myself for it for the rest the night and again today.

I'm fairly certain Aeryn would kick the living shit out of anyone who had the nerve to call her scrawny, and I should have done the same. 

Volatile Vegan Fitness

For the first time in my life, I am half-way satisfied with the state of my body. Just so you know, I will never be entirely satisfied with the state of my body (or anything else for that matter) because I am obsessive and filled with of self-loathing. However, I feel that at this point I look better and am more physically capable (which, in my opinion, is just as important to one's feelings about his/her body) than I have ever been previously. Anyway, not that anyone cares or has any reason to take my advice, but I just thought I would share some of the things that I believe helped me get to the point where I am.

1- Keep trying different workouts until you find one you actually enjoy.
2- Learn to judge your progress by what you are able to do, instead of visible changes to your body.
3- No matter how tired or generally crappy you feel before you workout, you WILL feel better afterward.
4- No matter what anyone tells you, crunches do not do the same thing as sit-ups. Sorry.
5- Pay attention not just to what exercises you are doing, but how you are doing them. It's amazing how much difference it can make to do things the right way.
6- Pay attention to how your body feels when you workout regularly. I never noticed before that I could actually feel the tone in my muscles when I move.
7- Keep yourself motivated by focusing on how far you've come and think about how great it will be if you keep at it, instead of thinking about how much further you have to go.
8- Do at least a few things that are very hard for you. You will be amazed at how quickly they become easy.
9- Yoga makes other types of exercise easier. I think it's mostly that it teaches you how to breathe, but I'm not sure. I just know it works.
10- Do push-ups. Yes, they suck. Do them anyway.
11- Sometimes being obsessive is good; it helps you not to skip doing things that are good for you.
12- Stop eating shitty food. You will get used to not eating it and soon it won't even look good to you anymore. Eventually it won't even look like food to you anymore.
13- Learn to enjoy challenging yourself.
14- Don't even bother with scales; weight means nothing. I have no idea how much I weigh and I truly don't care.
15- I you ever really feel like doing something physical, do it! Do it right then, because the feeling will pass and then you will wish you could get it back.
16- Don't ever buy food that you know you shouldn't eat. If all you have is healthy food then all you will eat is healthy food.
17- Base your goals only on what YOU want. Ignore other people completely. Work as hard as you have to in order to get to a point where YOU are happy with the way you look and feel.
18- Make a rule for yourself that you will do some type of exercise every day, even if it's just for ten minutes.
19- Find excuses to use you new found strength. You will get addicted to the look on people's faces when they see you doing things that they can't do.
20. Most importantly......... GO VEGAN! It will be the best decision of your life. I promise!

Also, you could consider using soulless Sam as inspiration. It works for me. 

Eh, It's Just a Scratch

As I'm sure you've all realized, I'm a bit of a health nut. I do everything I can to take care of my body, except when it comes to certain things. For some reason, there are a few things that normal people consider common sense that I just don't like doing. I don't like doing them because for whatever reason, they make me feel weak, or winy, or something. One of these things is taking care of wounds. I haven't used a bandaid, or ointment, or anything besides soap and water on a wound for years. Right now, I have what started out as a cat scratch that has now become a giant disgusting looking wound and is no doubt going to leave a rather obvious scar. This is not the only common sense thing that I have an unreasonable aversion to, but it's probably the most harmful.

What?

I don't know what the deal is, but my mom seems to constantly be trying to diagnose me with something. It seems like every week or so she has come up with some new disorder that I have. Sometimes I think "Yeah, I can see where you're coming from, but no." Other times I am completely baffled, like today. I guess my sister bought this book about, I think it was called, sensory defensiveness. My sister thinks she may have this, and I think she may be right. Much of it does seem to fit for her. However, my mom read parts of this book and has decided that I have it too. This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Basically the idea is that people with this issue are overly sensitive to sensory input. If anything, I am the complete opposite. I like overloading my senses. I find it comforting. I listen to my music at a ridiculous volume. I have no aversion to pain. I have never felt the need to wear sunglasses when it's bright out. I eat foods that other people think are unbearably spicy. When it comes to pretty much every possible sensory stimulus, I am less sensitive than pretty much anyone I have ever met. I asked my mom why she thinks I have this and she just kept telling me that I should read the book. What the fuck?

Mother, no offense. I know you are trying to help, but really I don't have this or any other disorder, disease, condition, whatever. I am just a general mess. I don't think they have a technical diagnosis for that. Sorry.

(Un) Important Updates

Well, I have nothing interesting to talk about today. So I thought I would just post a few updates about what has been going on in my life, in general.

1. I am still doing the whole raw food thing, and I'm pretty much used to it now.
2. I have almost entirely lost interest in school and am now just trying to make myself keep going until the end of the semester.
3. Impala has cut down a bit on the whole pissing on everything thing. However, he did eat one of my books and the other night he attacked his own tail so hard that he fell down the stairs.
4. I have multiple papers that I am supposed to be writing for school, but instead I have been doing pretty much anything else, including cross referencing actors from my favorite shows. I know, an excellent use of my time.
5. I am also currently watching three different shows. My dad and I are watching Supernatural (first time for him, third for me and still just as good as the first time I watched it!). My mom and I are watching Merlin (a great show despite it's "family-friendly" nature!). And I finally started watching Buffy by myself; I know I'm a bit behind the times on that one.
6. Since I decided to start running, last Friday, I managed to make myself do it every day but two. Sadly, it still hasn't gotten any easier.
7. I never did make that necklace I mentioned before, which really pisses me off every time I think about it.
8. Despite my utter lack of interest in school, my midterm grades turned out okay. I got three As one B and one C. Hopefully that last one will get a bit better by the end of the semester. Although, if it doesn't, I won't really care.
9. I'm loving my new yoga workout, and I would highly recommend it.
10. I was hoping to make this a list of ten but, despite the fact that I included the most pathetically mundane things, my life is so fucking boring that I can only come up with nine.

Boring-Ass Update

I just wanted to let everyone know that so far I'm actually sticking to the whole (mostly) raw food thing. The only non-raw things I have been eating are coffee ( Fuck you, I'm not giving up my coffee!) and almond and cashew butters, which I'm putting on raw fruit to make it seem more like an actual meal. I know that's sort of cheating, but I just don't see how it can make that much difference, so whatever. Anyway, it seems to be working pretty well this time. I feel good and I'm not starving all the time like I was when I tried this before. Yeah, sorry I didn't have anything interesting to say today. Hopefully I'll have better material tomorrow.

Let's Try This Again

I'm seriously considering trying the whole raw food thing (again). There are so many people who talk about the insane health/strength/fitness benefits they get from it that I just can't justify not doing it anymore. The problem is, I've sort of tried it several times in the past and found that I get annoyed with it quickly. The truth is, veganism is easy for me because it's all about morality. The health benefits are secondary; I do it because it's the right thing to do. Going from veganism to raw food is basically like going from the SAD (Standard American Diet) to veganism, except that there really aren't any ethical reasons for it. I find that doing things purely because they are good for me is much harder than doing things because they are right. I really think I am going to give it another shot though. Partly because I saw this ridiculously cool video.

Remember this post? Well, here is a perfect example. This guy is fucking incredible!

Squish

A while back, I mentioned my issue with germs, and I just want to clarify something about that. I am not afraid of dying. I often joke about worrying that I will catch Ebola, or the Plague, or some other obscure and deadly pathogen, but that's actually not what I worry about at all. My fear is not of being infected by something that will kill me, but by something that will make me wish I were dead, which is surprisingly easy to do. I almost never get sick and on the rare occasion that I do I always get a far less severe version of the illness than everyone else (I thank veganism for that). Nonetheless, I absolutely loathe being sick, and any kind of stomach thing will make me pray for someone to put a bullet in my brainpan.

By the way, last line+title=Serenity reference

Tastes Change...A Lot

I've heard so many meat eaters say that they could never be vegan because they "just like meat too much" and a lot of vegetarians say that they "just like cheese too much." I'm sure they really think that's true. Here's the thing though people; tastes change. I'm not saying it's not difficult because, at first, it is. After a while though it's not difficult anymore. After a while you don't even miss those foods you used to eat. In fact, after a while they start to look, and smell, disgusting to you. I'm not just talking about animal products either, I'm talking about all unhealthy foods. When I was a kid I ate so much unhealthy food that when I think about it now I can't even believe it. I loved it. I would eat anything that was sugary or greasy or cheesy, and lots of it. When I first became vegan I searched for replacements for those things. Where I live though, they're hard to find and when I could find them they were more expensive than I could afford to buy on a regular basis. So I just said "fuck it" and gave them up altogether. Now I can't even think about eating most of that stuff without getting grossed out. It doesn't even look like food to me anymore. So to anyone who thinks they can't be vegan, or they can't eat healthy. Yes you can. You just have to have a little bit of willpower and a little bit of patience and I guarantee you, if you can just wait it out, you'll be so much better off in the long run.