Toughening Up

Ⓥ "Have"

Exciting (ish.....maybe) News

Sore Muscles!

Pheromones Part 2

Pheromones

I've been thinking about pheromones the last few days. 

Happy Belated Samhain!

Excuses.

Ⓥ Volatile Vegan Tips (Hair Dye)

The first in, what will hopefully be, a series of videos about some helpful things that I have figured out.  

More Fangirling

I just wanted to talk about how great last night's Supernatural was!

Just In Case I Get Ax-Murdered

Sorry if this is super morbid......I thought it was funny....

Wanted; Sparring Partner

Something I need in my life. 

Hemlock Grove

Just me fangirling over the final season of Hemlock Grove. 

The Downside to Cutting My Own Hair

Sometimes cutting my own hair doesn't work out quite right. 

Ⓥ Riley and Tuni (take 2)

I think this one turned out better than my first Riley and Tuni video.

Plans

Some things I'm think about to (maybe?) improve these videos a little.

Maybe.......Maybe Not

I am, once again, considering trying to finish my psychology degree. 

And So It Begins

The ladybugs are back.

Workout Room

I've been doing some organizing/cleaning in my workout room. 

Sit-up ......Thing

I just thought I would show you guys how my sit-up thing works.

Being Successful

Thoughts on success. Also, Youtube gives me the best thumbnail choices; enjoy this lovely claw-hand.

Ⓥ T.O.F.U. Book

T.O.F.U. magazine is releasing a book, and my article is going to be in it! 

Kickstarter campaign

T.O.F.U. magazine

At Least I'm Learning Something

I am getting more entertainment from my Japanese course that I probably should.......

Review of You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost)

Here is my review of Felicia Day's book!

Sleep Exercising...? (Video)

Apparently I was working out in my sleep.........which is super fucking weird.

Typhoid Mary (Video)

This is my Typhoid Mary "audition". I was hoping to find a good image of the original scene but, alas, I couldn't. So I guess I'll just explain it to you. It is the opening scene from Deadpool #6. It takes place in a psych ward and is a conversation between the three aspects of Mary's personality; Typhoid Mary, Bloody Mary, and Mary Walker. Try not to make fun of me too much.

Inspired (Video)

Sorry, there was no video yesterday, we went to the vegan festival in Pittsburgh and I ran out of time. Anyway (I figured I might as well go ahead and use that word one more time, seeing as how I used it about 87 times in the video) I've been reading Felicia Day's book and it has inspired me to want to be more creative with my videos. So we'll see how that goes.

Ⓥ "Just"

I've noticed something troubling about my own language when I talk about Riley and Tuni. 

Crazy Like a Kitsune (Video)

Kitsune means fox in Japanese. Also, a mythological creature once played by Jewel Staite (aka Kaylee, from Firefly) on Supernatural. 

Epilator! (Video)

Fuck you, Epilator! 

Learning Japanese (Video)

I'm working on checking one thing off my bucket list......we'll see what happens. 

Thoughts on Clothing (Video)

I've talked about this before....but I felt like talking about it again. Sorry. 

Excessive Nerdiness

I just felt like gushing about comics for a while.

Ⓥ Vegan Exceptions (Video)

I actually filmed this last week, but decided to go ahead and post it today (since I ran out of time to do a new one).

Women In Superhero Movies (Video)

Today I just felt like bitching about Hollywood. 

Fight Club (Video)

I need a new outlet! 

Shakespeare and Psychology (Video)

Some thought inspired by Romeo and Juliet. 

Creature of Habit (Video)

A short video that was mostly just an excuse to ask you all a question.

Tree Climbing and Other Childish Things (Video)

I just felt like acting like a dip-shit today. 

Born Under a Bad Sign (Video)

A (hopefully) funny(ish) video about being cursed. Also, yes, the title is a reference to the Supernatural episode, though the song is also fairly relevant.

Ⓥ Love Vs. Want (Video)

I did my animal rightsy post in the form of a video, this time.

Cat Birth Control (Video)

We may have...may have....had a breakthrough with the whole cat issue! Did you guys know that you could get birth control for cats? because I didn't!

I'm really not even sure why I made this ^ face, but it came up as one of the thumbnail options, and it was too ridiculous to pass up. 

I Mean, It's a Possibility

I went through and deleted a bunch of shit from my SD card, so hopefully that was the issue with my camera and now I will be able to do videos again. Then again it may just be that the electronic curse has struck again. Speaking of the electronic curse, one of my clients was kind enough to come check out the issue with my electricity for the camper. He's an electrician and he had some kind of meter that is supposedly designed precisely for finding shorts in wires. Shockingly enough, it didn't work. I mean, it might have worked. From one direction it seemed like the signal stopped in one particular spot, but from the other direction it seemed there was nothing wrong with it at all. Of course, best case scenario, I'm still not getting into the camper; I'll just be getting how water in the pump-house. Still, maybe this will be one less thing to inconvenience the shit out of me. Maybe.

Wow, Thanks. I Feel Much Better Now!

Since I don't really know how to go about finding a good psychic, so I decided to just do my own tarot reading and film it for you guys. However, my camera has now started just shutting off for no apparent reason. So yeah, no video today. Anyway, it seemed at least semi-accurate but was not exactly encouraging. The way I do my spreads, the final card is supposed to be the outcome of the current situation. My last card was called "Challenge" #15 of the major arcana. I didn't like the book that came with my tarot cards, so I have been using a generic tarot book. When I looked up #15 in my book, it turns out that it's not normally called challenge (my cards were just trying to be nice), it's really called "The Devil" and it represents "negative thoughts" and being the "prisoner of poor choices". Awesome.  

Wrong Again

As a follow up to yesterday's post-

I really thought that giving up the one thing that I really wanted (my own space), would put a stop to the awful shit that has been happening in my life. I'm not even going to do into it right now, but suffice it to say I was wrong. I was very, very wrong. I honestly don't even know what to do. I know I joke all the time about being cursed, but I'm really starting to believe it. There is definitely something seriously wrong with my life, and it's something that I can't do anything about. You can't change things that you have no control over, and you can't prevent things that you can't see coming. I truly feel like there is some dark thing following me around, doing everything it possibly can to make me miserable.

I know this sounds completely stupid, but I really kind if want to find a psychic (or something), to tell me what the fuck this is. Am I actually cursed, or is there some fucking evil spirit stuck to me, or am I just a shitty human being, or what? Of course I know that most psychics are full of shit, but I do think that there are real ones out there too. Does anyone know how one would go about finding a Destiny Rumancek, or perhaps a Missouri Moseley? I'm really not kidding, I'm willing to try anything, at this point.

Signs (Video)

Well, I kept saying that once I got into my camper I was going to start doing videos more often. I've decided to just start doing more videos now. If you watch this one, you'll know why. 

Ⓥ Gets Me Every Time

I am probably the most jaded, desensitized, pessimistic person I know. Nothing really surprises me anymore; nothing really gets to me. Other people hear news stories about death, cruelty, injustice and become very upset about them, but not me. I know how the world is and, though I do want to help stop these things in any way I can, I am not remotely surprised when they happen.

Naturally, the things that always bothered me the most were instances of cruelty toward animals, but even those have ceased to be as powerful as they once were. I have seen so many images and videos, and read so many stories of the horrible things that happen to animals in our world that they no longer impact me the way they did before. They still provoke a sense of sadness for the animals and anger toward the humans responsible, but the feeling is sort of superficial now.

In a way, this is probably a good thing. If I felt the full extent of every terrible thing that humans do to animals, I doubt that I would be able to function at all. However, I still feel a pang of guilt every time I hear about these things and am able to just brush them off. I feel like I should feel these things more deeply; I mean, nothing I could feel seeing pictures of torture could ever compare to what the animals feel having to live through it. I just don't anymore though. I still care. I still desperately want to make things better for them. But I don't feel their pain the way I used to.

There is one thing that still gets to me though; one thing that still brings out a strong emotional response. That thing is children reacting to cruelty toward animals. Many of you have probably seen various videos going around the internet of very young kids learning that the food they are eating came from an animal (or similar situations), and being absolutely heartbroken about it. In some of these videos, the parents respond with compassion, but in others they seem to think of the whole thing as a joke. Either way, I can't help but be deeply moved by these videos.

I think there are two reason why they affect me so much, when nothing else does. First, this is the only situation in which I see anyone respond to the horrors of animal abuse with an appropriate level of revulsion. Children have not yet been desensitized the way the rest of us have, so they are able to react in the way that we all should, when faced with such awful truth. Seeing them feel the pain of this realization so deeply gives me some hope that someday things may actually change. Second, as glad as I am that these children have seen the truth, and as hopeful as I am that, because of that, they may truly be able to make a difference in the world, I can't help but feel sad for them. There is something inherently awful about watching someone's illusions about the world being shattered. They will never be able to recapture the innocence they once had; they will never again truly believe that the world is a good and kind place. I only hope that other people are as deeply affected by these videos as I am, and that they will be inspired to change the way they treat animals. Then, at least, these kids can grow up to know that they have made a difference and the pain they felt was not for nothing.  

I honestly think this is one of the most powerful videos I have ever seen. There is nothing gruesome, just pure, honest emotion and the love and compassion of a child for his friend.

Message (Video)

I know I've been doing the whole "Throwback Thursday" thing lately, but I've realized that I just don't like my old writing all that much. I may still do it from time to time, but not every week. Also, I'm going to start working toward doing more videos, and I something happen today that I just had to share. 

Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A?

My dad and I have been watching Hemlock Grove, on DVD because we can't get Netflix at his house. I thought that it was pretty safe to watch season one because season two had already been released on blu-ray (for $60.00, for ten episodes!) so surely the DVDs would be out anytime. So, ever since we started season one, I've been checking Amazon every couple of days for season two DVDs. Well, we finished season one a couple of days ago and there was still no sign of them.

I've already watched both seasons twice, but I'm still dying to watch it again, and my dad really likes it and wants to know what happens next. So we have both been pretty annoyed by the lack of season two DVDs. A while back we managed to find "Hemlock Grove Season 2 (Region 2) DVDs", but I was kind of iffy about that, because I wasn't really sure what the difference was. I mean, I knew that meant they were originally released in another country, but I didn't know if they would be different somehow. So I kept waiting.....and waiting......and finally, yesterday, I just said "fuck it!" and ordered them.

Then today, I happened across another set of DVDs from region two. These had a disclaimer which said "Region two; Won't play in most American or Canadian DVD players." SHIT! I assumed, if there was a difference it would be within the show itself (like it would be edited differently or something) I never considered the possibility that the disks wouldn't even work. And here's the really annoying part, it's not even a difference in the players, it's just in the way they are programmed. So, at some point, some asshole was like "Hey, we can't have these people selling DVDs from one country to another, let's program some weird protocol into the players that won't let them play foreign shows." Fuck that guy!

Fortunately (maybe) there are supposedly cheat codes you can use to make your player "region free." I guess we'll just have to wait until the disks get here, and give it a shot.

Oh we're ready. We are so ready. 

Blah Blah Blah (Video)

I've been considering doing some video posts as opposed to written posts, so here is my practice run. Apologies for the terrible thumbnail, I couldn't get the other one to show up, the video does still work though.

Adjustments

It's so weird to me how quickly we get used to certain things; you deal with something for a little while and then all of a sudden it's the norm and you don't even notice anymore. (Of course, this only works for some things. There are always the things that you never do get used to, but I talk about that enough.)

The last couple of days the weather has been significantly cooler here. Not cold, by any means, just cooler. And I have been freezing my ass off! Today it is in the seventies outside and I'm wearing a long-sleeved shirt. I hate long-sleeved shirts, I never wear them unless I absolutely have to. Last night I think it got down into the upper forties. All through last winter, I slept with my window cracked at least a little almost every night. Last night I woke up and closed the window all the way and added a second blanket to my bed, even though I have been sleeping with just a sheet for the last couple of months.

It just always amazes me how differently our bodies (and our minds) interpret things based on what has been happening recently. I know damn well that a couple of months ago this weather would have felt amazing, but since it has been upward of ninety degrees lately, I feel like I'm going to freeze to death. It's not even like I got used to being comfortable and am now uncomfortable, the heat hasn't been particularly pleasant either, it's just that something different is happening and now my body is convinced that it is now winter.

Well...if I had a tail, it would be.

Pretty Twisted

I don't even remember how this came about, but a few days ago my mom and I were talking about nightmares. I said that most of the dreams that I actually remember (which is a pretty small number) are what most people would probably consider nightmares. Usually I seem to dream about awful things happening. Yet, I don't mind them the way I imagine most people do. The truth is, my real life is so fucking boring that I would rather be chased by a serial killer or something than wake up and do fucking dishes, and laundry, and whatever other meaningless bullshit I have planned for that day. This is not a healthy attitude. Oh well, at least I still have a few Deadpool comics left to read, and they released the trailer for Supernatural season 11. As long as I can immerse myself in enough fiction, I can usually (usually) tune out real-life enough to get through the day.

You're Kidding Right? Right?...........RIGHT?

You know my electronic curse? That thing that causes every electronic device I ever own to break in weird, inconvenient, and irreparable ways? Well, it appears that it is not confined to electronic devices but electricity in general. You know how I said that my dad and I got electricity run to the pump house last week, and that all we had to do was hook up the panel box and I would have water at the pig barn? Well, it turns out that there is a short somewhere in the (I believe 80ft long) cable that we ran along the ceiling of my dad's shop and then under the ground outside, and there is no way for us to know where it is unless we dig the whole thing up and probably strip the coating off of it to find where the problem is. So yeah, I'd say we're back to square one with the electricity, but we're actually way farther back than that. What the fuck, Powers? Seriously, what the fuck?

Ⓥ Book Review

I know I have mentioned many times how much I like to support vegan artists. I love knowing that something was made by someone who shares my values. I have also mentioned how hard it is for me to find vegan artists who make the type of art that I like. I have had an especially hard time finding vegan authors who write the type of books I enjoy reading. For the most part, vegans tend to only write book about veganism or animal rights, and they seem to be especially fond of writing cook books. This is great and I do still try to support these people but I, personally, can only read so many books about veganism before I get bored and need something more exciting. Well I finally found a vegan author who writes my kind of books! 

Frank E. Bittinger writes paranormal/supernatural/horror novels. This genre has always been, by far, my favorite. For some reason, it also seems to be the least embraced by vegan authors. I suppose it makes sense that some vegans would find the blood, gore, and violence that frequently accompanies horror stories to be in conflict with their peaceful way of life. I, however, enjoy books that offer a sense of danger and adventure that I can't get in my real life, which is why I was so pleased to find Frank Bittinger. 

I recently read his book Angels of the Seventh Dawn. I don't want to give too much away, because I'm hoping you will read it, but It covered several different species of supernatural creatures and managed to blend them together, and into our own society, in a way that somehow seemed natural and believable. It also blurred the lines of good and evil in a way that I found quite intriguing. It forces you to question your own ideas about the nature of humanity, and why most authors of paranormal type books always assume that the humans are the good guys, in every scenario. Plus it sort of highlighted the fluidity of human (and not-quite-human) sexuality, which I always appreciate, since so few authors seem willing to do that. It did not have any animal rights overtones, so don't go into it expecting that, though there were a few little things thrown in here and there. Overall, it was a new and unique perspective on a familiar topic that left me wanting to read all of the rest of his books. Check them all out on his Amazon page! I already have the others on my wish list. 

Meat

To make up for my lack of animal rights post last week, I thought I would go ahead and share one of my animal rights poems (from my book) for my throwback post. It's probably a little over-the-top, but I still stand by it. 

It's the murder of the most innocent

those who could commit no crime.

Their souls have far more purity

than you could hope for yours or mine.

How can this be justified?

How can they say that it's alright

to kill those who cannot protect themselves,

those who can't put up a fight?

I wish that I were stronger

that I could truly speak my mind.

I know there's courage deep inside me,

but it's so fucking hard to find.

I want to tell the world

of all the evils that they do,

but I can't seem to speak opinions

even when I know they're true.

Why can't people see it?

Why won't they open up their eyes?

How can they ignore the suffering?

Can't they hear the anguished cries?

Don't they know that they can stop it?

Don't they know it's up to us?

If we can just sacrifice a couple luxuries

we can make the suffering stop.

I want to make a difference.

I want to change the way we live.

I'd give up anything to do that

but I just don't know what yo give.

I wish that I were strong enough

to convince them to make the right choice

but I can't seem to speak up so loud

that they can hear my voice.

Inside my head I'm screaming

but from my mouth just a whisper comes out.

I wish that I could be the type

to look them in the eyes and shout.

"Stop what you're doing!"

Stop it now!

before more lives are lost."

Stop acting like a selfish child

never thinking of the cost

of all these stupid things you want

these things you think you really need.

If you would just give up a few desires

your poor slaves could all be freed."

I'm Not Even Being Sarcastic This Time!

Do you guys remember, way back when, when T.O.F.U magazine published an article that I wrote? Well, they've decided to do a book collecting the best articles from past issues......and they want to include mine! I'm pretty excited about it; it's nice to know that someone considered my writing good enough to be included in a "best of" anything collection. The only problem is that they want me to write an update to go with it and, unfortunately, I have made little to no actual progress in my life since I wrote the article. So yeah, I'm going to have to think up a way to say "My life is still a complete and utter mess" in a way that doesn't sound pathetic.

Also, I totally just realized that I forgot to link to the album for my Typhoid Mary shoot. Be sure you "like"

my sister's photography page while you're there!