Just What I Was Hoping For

For the past several weeks, I have been desperately searching for a new pair of Mitchell

Gloves (which is what I call those fingerless gloves). I had several pairs of the knitted ones, but they are all starting to wear out and I kind of wanted some that were vinyl or something, so that it wouldn't look quite as weird if I continued to wear them once the weather clears up. Anyway, once again, I ran into the problem of all the ones I like being leather, and/or super expensive, and/or from overseas. I finally found some that I liked in L.A. (still a little farther than I would like, but I was willing to deal with it) for, get this, $4.99! and free shipping! I was so happy that I bought two pairs, so I would have an extra. Well, they arrived a couple of days ago and I couldn't wait to try them on! When I took them out of the envelop, the first thing I noticed was a big WARNING stick which informed me that they contained chemicals which may cause cancer. I found that a bit disconcerting, but I was willing to overlook it. Them I tried them on and realized that, not only would they apparently give me hand cancer, but they made me look like I already had it. They were sown crooked so they had (obviously unintentional) holes everywhere, they were completely square, and they were several sizes too big (despite being "one size fits all"). Basically, they made it look like I had giant robot hands that had torn through my gloves in random places. Yeah, yeah, I know "you get what you pay for" fuck you.

Mitchell^.....................Gloves^                 

Procrastination, Never a Good Idea

Do you ever put off the most mundane shit for so long that it becomes this incredibly daunting task, that you can't imagine yourself ever completing? Because I sure as hell do. I haven't checked my email in a couple of weeks, which I knew was a big mistake, and yesterday I tried to check it and found 827 unread emails in my inbox. I ask you, how the fuck am I ever supposed to sort through that many emails? Also, our kitchen has been entirely overrun by glass jars. They have the residue from various types of nut butters in them, and they have accumulated so much over the last few (weeks?, months? I don't ever remember anymore) that the idea of washing them all just seems unreasonable.

Eventually, I suppose I will get to this point. 

The Most Useless Premonition Ever

I get Deja Vu all the time, I would say at least once a week or so. Every time I do, instead of feeling like "I think I've done this before." I usually feel like "I think I dreamed about this." This is weird for two reasons 1- I almost never remember my dreams, so thinking that I remember dreaming about anything is kind of dumb. 2- It pretty much always happens when I'm doing something ridiculously mundane. So my next thought after "I think I dreamed about this." is usually "Wow, that must have been a really boring dream." Also, I'm usually doing things that I do all the time so, even if I did dream about it, I may very well have just been dreaming about the last time I did whatever it was. Anyway, something slightly different, but no more helpful, happened this morning. I was brushing my teeth and I got that "I dreamed about this" feeling. Then I thought "Wow, I dreamed about brushing my teeth! Fascinating!" Then, I remembered the rest of the dream though; I was brushing my teeth and my mouth started bleeding profusely. About thirty seconds after I remembered the rest of the dream, I accidentally jabbed myself in the gums with my toothbrush. This is not unusual, I do this all the time. What was a bit unusual was the rather remarkable amount of blood. I tried to spit out some toothpaste and spit out a whole mouthful of blood instead. My dream still exaggerated a bit, but not that much. Of course, the most logical explanation here is that I was so distracted by the thought of my creepy dream that I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing, not that I get premonitions of absurdly boring events, but that wouldn't make a very good topic for a post.

It looked kind of like this. 

Sort of an Androgynous Gunslinging Space Vampire?

A lot of people take style cues from magazines, fashion designers or their favorite celebrities; I get mine from my favorite sci fi/ fantasy characters. Right now I'm going for sort of a Zoe meets Mitchell look (with a few vegan/animal rights accessories of course).

This could have something to do with why I'm single.