Well I've Been Afraid of Changing

Actually I haven't, but everyone else has. Anyway, this is somewhat of a follow up to yesterday's post, but less bitchy (I swear).

Considering how adaptable humans are, it seems strange to me how many of us are so very terrified of change. People get themselves trapped in really awful situations simply because they are afraid that they won't know how to handle a new situation. We stay in jobs, cities, relationships, that we hate because there's a chance that the next one might end up being worse.

Personally, I've always had the opposite problem. My greatest fear is that things will stay the same. I just can't bear the thought that my whole life will be the way it is now. I'm sort of addicted to change. Things always seem better to me when they're new. I never stay at the same job for long because once that newness wears off, I generally find that it's really not any different than the last job.

I change everything in my life all the time because I'm always looking for that perfect...... whatever. I change my wardrobe, my makeup, my sleep schedule, my diet (Well, parts of it anyway. I'm obviously always going to be vegan.), my job, my whole life-plan, in the desperate hope that one of them will make me feel like I'm on the right track. Basically my entire life has been a quest for anything that I like well enough to keep.

This image is kind of relevant, but mostly just an excuse to use a picture of Mitchell. Also, the post title is a line from Landslide, which is a really great song for anyone who doesn't know. 

Adaptability

This is something that I've been thinking about lately and, to be honest, it's been bugging the shit out of me. People don't seem to realize how incredibly adaptable humans (and most other animals, for that matter) are. They act like our tastes, preferences, tolerance levels, abilities, are just inborn qualities that we can do nothing about. Which is a complete load of shit. We have a nearly endless ability to adjust to our surroundings. The only reason people can't adjust to things is because they don't make themselves do it. We get stuck in unhealthy patters because we refuse to accept the fact that we can change those patterns if we want to. We can not only make ourselves do the things we know we should do, we can make ourselves enjoy them. We can learn to like healthy food, exercise, being outdoors, etc.

Of course, my favorite example of this is veganism. I don't know how many times I've heard people say things like "Oh, I could never be vegan. I don't like vegetables." Well guess what, motherfucker? If you just made yourself eat vegetables for a little while, you would like them. I like all sorts of things now that I never used to like. A couple of years ago, I tried quinoa. I didn't like it; I thought it was weird. Then recently I started reading about how good it is for you, so I tried it again. I made myself eat it for a little while, and now I love it! I eat it every day. We like what we get used to. That's just how we are.

This isn't just about food though. This goes for everything in our lives. I mostly started thinking about all of this because both of my parents, on separate occasions, mentioned how they can't sleep if it's too noisy (it was also partly because of Arrow, but I'm trying to stay away from TV references for this post). I know this is a big issue for a lot of people, and it makes sense. But there are people who live in big cities, where there is traffic all night. There are people who live in war zones. Do you think those people just never sleep because of all the noise? No, they got used to it. Just like people get used to cold, or heat, or wind, or rain, or whatever other conditions happen to exist wherever they are. If you deal with something long enough, it becomes normal.

The thing that bothers me the most about this though, is when people do this with their kids. There are so many people who just let their kids be sickly all the time because "They only like junk food." First of all, why do people even give their kids that stuff in the first place? and second, do you really believe your kid is going to starve to death if you don't let him eat hot dogs every day? No! He'll get hungry and he'll eat whatever is there. I'm not saying you should force-feed your kid brussels sprouts, but you could easily offer a couple of healthy options and let her pick the one she wants to eat. Just FYI, I follow a lot of vegan parents on Facebook, Pinterest, etc. and I've never seen a single one of them comment that their kid won't eat healthy food. Do you know why? Because that's what food tastes like to their kids. That's all they've ever known. I would be willing to bet that if a kid who was raised vegan ever tasted some greasy fast food hamburger he would think it tasted like shit, because that's what it really is and he hasn't been taught otherwise like most kids have. Sorry, rant over.

They adapt. 

Points of (dis)Interest

Here are a few things that you probably don't care about.

1- I can now do five pull-ups. My progress is slow, but it is happening.
2- My sister and I are going to set up at a craft show on June 8th. Who knows, maybe I'll actually manage to sell at least one piece of jewelry.
3- There may be more half-naked pictures of me on the internet soon. Apparently, my sister wants another example of a "boudoir" shoot before said craft show.
4- Lately, I have been making a point to spend a bit more time with Riley and Tuni. Tuni has actually been letting me rub her belly again, and Riley has been not trying to smash me with his head. So I would say I'm making pretty good headway.
5- It looks like next Friday, if all goes according to plan, I'm actually going to go to an MMA class! I'm really very fucking excited about this. Also nervous, but I'm trying very hard not to think about all the ways in which I may embarrass myself.

Are You Trying to Kill Me or What?

Today as I was coming into Mannington, I drove past what I thought was a rock. As I got near it I realized that it was, in fact, a tortoise. Just a I was turning around to go get him, I saw a car coming the other way, heading right toward him. I flashed my lights at the other car and just assumed that by the time I got turned around it would be too late. Shockingly, the car actually slowed down and managed to miss him. Still, I had to whip around, stop right in the middle of what is probably the busiest stretch of road in the Mannington area, get out, grab the tortoise, take him to the side of the road, climb over the guardrail, try not to fall over the hill as I tried to get him to a halfway flat area, then weave between cars coming the other direction as I sprinted back to my car before someone had a chance to rear-end me.

That Perfect Song In That Perfect Moment

Do you ever have that experience where you hear a song that is just so perfect for the moment in which it plays? It happens in real life from time to time, and those moments are especially poignant. Since my real life is boring as shit, I most often have this experience during movies or TV shows. My sister and I were discussing this a couple of days ago. Every once in a while, they manage to fit the song to the scene so perfectly that the two sort of become inseparable in your mind. You hear the song and immediately see the scene playing in your mind, or you think about the scene and have this intense need to listen to the song. Apparently this is not something that happens to everyone, neither of my parents seem to have any idea what I'm talking about. My sister does though. She thinks it's a generational thing. Then again, maybe she and I are just weird.

Supernatural and Dollhouse are both exceptionally good at this. 

This was one of my favorites from Dollhouse. Lonely Ghosts by O+S.

The devil that you know

is  better than the one you don't

and so it goes. 

Like lonely ghosts 

at a roadside cross

we stay because 

we don't know where else to go. 

I'm a Creature of Habit Whether I Like It or Not

I don't know if anyone has noticed but, for the most part, I have actually gotten into a pretty good rhythm with my posts lately. This is due to the fact that, when I'm working, I know that I have a certain amount of time in the afternoons to sit around at my mom's house and write before walking over to the office. Unfortunately, this means that on days when I don't have to work my schedule gets all fucked up and I end up putting off writing until, well, now.

This is something that I sort of hate about myself actually. I desperately want excitement and spontaneity in my life, yet I need to have a certain schedule for my days or I end up getting nothing done. And if I deliberately skip doing certain things, I end up berating myself for it for days. I would like to believe that if my life wasn't so pathetic that I wouldn't need my routine so much, but that's probably not true. If I had a really exciting life I would probably just end up not sleeping in order to make time for all of my useless nonsense. Otherwise, my groove would get totally thrown off.

I don't know why, but my sister and I still reference this movie all the time.

I Don't Think This Is a Normal Response

I should really start watching different kinds of shows and movies. All the ones I like end up inspiring me to want to do weird, and/or dangerous, and/or socially unacceptable, and/or not humanly possible things. I always think "Hey if (insert fictional character's name here) can do it, so can I!" Then I have to remind myself that (insert fictional character's name here) is, in fact, a FICTIONAL character who is being portrayed by an actor who most likely has multiple stunt doubles, various wires and pulleys, strange camera angles, a full special effects team, and CGI to make all that shit look possible. Nonetheless, I can't help but think "Just because that actor probably wasn't really doing it, doesn't mean that it can't be done.........Right?" Then I go and try to do it, and one of these days I'm likely to break my fucking neck. 

Anyway, I just started watching Arrow (which is very good, by the way) and he has this crazy training room (which looks more like a dungeon, but whatever) with all this really cool equipment; including this ^ ridiculous contraption, which I am now convinced that I need. 

Nothing To See Here

No really, don't even bother reading this very late and very pathetic post. I ran out of time to write one earlier, and now I have run out of motivation. I didn't really do anything worth writing about today anyway. I shoveled out a little more of the pig barn (it was so much worse than I realized!), then my sister and I drove to Pittsburgh out of sheer boredom. So yeah, I'll try to do better tomorrow. Sorry.

More Relationship Advice From the Last Person Who Should Be Giving Relationship Advice

My sister and I were talking about this recently, and it seems to be a very common occurrence. Once people find themselves in committed relationships, they tend to sort of give up on taking care of their bodies. It appears to be equally common in both men and women. When people are seeking a relationship, they eat healthy, workout, put effort into their clothes/makeup/whatever. Then they find someone, start dating, get serious with that person, and decide that none of that stuff matters anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the physical stuff should be a big deal in a relationships. What I am saying is that.

1- I don't think it's a good idea ever completely stop trying to impress the person you are in a relationship with. We all like to feel like the person we love values our opinion, and when that person makes it apparent that they aren't trying to be their best for us anymore that's basically saying "I no longer care if you think I'm attractive or not." I knew this girl once who was always complaining that she didn't think her husband found her attractive anymore. One day she brought in an old picture of herself, as she looked when she first met her husband. I swear she looked like fucking Pamela Anderson, thin and pretty with huge boobs and long blonde hair; basically most guys' dream come true. Since then, she had gained a good deal of weight, gotten a breast reduction and cut all of her hair off. I'm not saying that any of those things are necessarily bad, but she looked nothing at all like she did when they met. How could he not see her differently? I just don't think that we should assume that just because someone has promised to stay with us, we should stop doing all of the things that drew them to us in the first place.

2- I think it's very unhealthy to view taking care of our bodies purely as a way of attracting a mate. Our bodies are important. They are the most valuable thing any of us have. We should try to be the best we can for our own benefit just as much as for the other person, if not more so. Our bodies are our own, we should focus on making them what we want them to be, not what we think another person will want them to be. If we pay more attention to our own goals for our bodies not only will we be more motivated to keep it up, relationship or not, but we will also attract people who are interested in who we really are, not just some image we are presenting simply for the purpose of getting their attention.

"Don't you like me anymore?" 

What We're Told

Sometimes I wonder who I could have been if I had been brave enough to move someplace where no one knows me. I have come to realize how much of who I am, maybe how much of who we all are, is based on what other people tell us we are. I really started thinking about this after my little road-trip recently, when my parents made such a big deal about me going by myself. I mean, it was two hours away and I had a GPS. What's the big fucking deal? To anyone else in the world that would be nothing. Yet I was all freaked out about it because everyone I know acted like I should be freaked out about it.

The point here is that I am, believe it or not, a halfway capable human being. I can do things. I can do some fairly difficult things. But it's a hell of a lot harder to do those things when everyone is telling me that I can't. I've actually done some sort of interesting things when I was alone, or with people who didn't know that I was supposed to be completely incompetent. So my question is, how different could we all be if we didn't have people telling us who we are or aren't, and what we can or can't do, all the time?

Sometimes My Brain Likes to Pretend I'm Important

Do you ever just wake up in the morning with a totally unwarranted sense of urgency? Like you have a thousand really important things to do, even though in reality you have not one single important thing to do? If you do, then you know that it's really fucking annoying because you just spend the entire day feeling like you're late for something but can't remember what. In a way, I actually kind of like days like this because at least I do tend to get shit accomplished.

Oh wait, no I'm fucking not!

Just a Few Udates

Here are a few updates about random things I imagine none of you actually give a flying fuck about, but I'm going to go ahead and tell you anyway.

1- I've heard nothing more from Camo Asshole on Pinterest. So I guess that's over; which is good because as pissed as I was I really didn't want to get into a long, drawn out, and ultimately pointless argument with him.
2- My dad tells me that the thing about the footprints actually was true and that he read it when he was a kid and reacted to the information just about the same way I did, which is pretty cool.
3- Even though they weren't quite as intense as I expected, I'm quite pleased with my new ankle weights. I think I might actually get my legs looking the way I want them to fairly soon.
4- I may have actually made the first step toward taking that martial arts class I've been talking about for what? over a year? I emailed a guy today about an MMA class in Morgantown. So we'll see how that goes.
5- Tonight is the season finale of Supernatural and I am so excited I can't even stand it! I've heard rumors that it's going to be horrible and soul-crushing which, because I'm completely fucked up, makes me even more excited about it.

It's Funny the Things That Stick With You

Do you ever pay attention to people's feet when they walk? Probably not, because that's weird, but I do. As someone who is almost entirely incapable of making eye-contact with other humans, I spend a good deal of time looking at the feet of the people around me. My social ineptitude isn't the only reason I do this though. I also find it sort of interesting. Everyone has their own little idiosyncrasies, and I think you can learn a bit about what a person is like just by the way they walk.  

I remember when I was a kid my dad told me that the Native Americans could tell the difference between their own people's footprints and those of the settlers because the settlers' feet turned outward when they walked, while their own pointed straight ahead. I'm not sure how he knew this, or even that it's necessarily true (my dad thoroughly enjoys fucking with people's heads, and I was an easy target when I was a kid). Anyway, I remember thinking at the time that white people were kind of awful and all they ever did is fuck everything up, so I didn't want to be like them. I wanted to walk like the Native Americans. So I started paying attention to my feet when I walked and trying to make sure they always pointed straight ahead.

It got to the point where it just happened automatically. I've been doing most of my life without even thinking about it. Now from my extensive research into other people's walking habits, I can tell you that I am one of very few people who do this. I think this may be art of the reason I'm always inadvertently leaving people behind when I try to walk with them. My way is a slightly more efficient.  

How Did You Even Get Here?

I think I've mentioned a couple of times how much I love Pinterest. It is, by far, my favorite way to completely waste my time. The one thing I don't like about it is that, every once in a while, I get some fucking asshole, that I don't know and doesn't follow any of my boards, commenting on my pins. I always think "Who are you? How did you even find this pin? And what in the name of fuck made you decide that you needed to comment on it?"

This morning some some dumbass, who is dressed in head to toe camouflage in his picture, commented on an anti-fur picture that I pinned months ago. The picture is of a mother fox and her babies and says "My family is my family, not your coat." Not exceptionally controversial, right? Well apparently this charming fellow thought it was. This is what he told me:

Just wait a year or so until they are big enough to eat all the chickens in the coup over a single night. You'll change your mind....... city folks don't understand this type of destructive and costly behavior that is "just their nature".

City folks? Really, sir? Can you not see from my fucking picture that I'm obviously not in the city? It pisses me off that people like this just assume that if you don't think killing animals is fun you must be some yuppie who has never met an animal. Actually, no! There are those of us who can look at wild animals and see them for the beautiful beings they are and not wonder how their heads would look hanging in our living rooms. Anyway, this was my response:

I live in the country. I've lived in the country my whole life. That's part of the reason I have such love and respect for all animals. I've seen them in their natural habitat and I know how intelligent, loving, and beautiful they are. We just make sure our animals are kept safe from wild animals that might attack them. There is NOTHING in this world that could change my mind. Thanks for your input though, whoever you are.

So yeah, we'll see what happens.

I was actually looking for the scene from "Trash" where Wash is freaking out about how Saffron ended up on the ship, but I found this one and thought it was equally appropriate. 

I'm Not Even on Fire or Anything

Guess what you guys? I survived. In fact, everything went fairly smoothly. My GPS got me right where I was going, with no problem. It did, for some reason, continuously tell me I was losing time even as I was driving over the speed limit, but I guess I can deal with that.

Anyway, it was a good day overall. I got to spend the majority of the day having good conversation with a cool fellow vegan, with surprisingly little awkward silence (there was still some awkward silence because, you know, it's me we're talking about. But still, not that much) and getting to know several very friendly cats. Plus it's nice just to be able to say that I did something other than go to the fucking grocery store.

The trip back was a slightly different story; what with that dark, and the rainstorm, and the assholes on the interstate who were alternately passing everyone on the wrong side and slamming on their brakes for no apparent reason. Still, I made it with no real problem. See, everyone in my family? I'm not entirely incompetent.

"Can everybody just notice how much fire I'm not on?"

On a completely unrelated and utterly irrelevant note; I bought a new pair of 10 pound ankle weights, and I used them for the first time yesterday, and I'm barely even sore today, and this pisses me off. 

Wish Me Luck, and Something Resembling a Sense of Direction.

If all goes according to plan, I will be making a trip to Weirton today. I'm fairly certain this will be the farthest I have ever driven by myself. Generally, I just tag along with whoever else happens to be going where I'm going, or talk someone else into driving me. Not this time though. This time I'm doing it myself, which is a bit worrisome because I am absolute shit with directions. Fortunately, I have my new GPS. Unfortunately, I've never used the fucking thing before. So we'll see how that goes. Anyway, if you never hear from me again, you can just assume that I got lost in the wilderness and was adopted by a family of squirrels or something*.

*This seems to be a genuine concern for my mother. Whereas my dad is just convinced that I'm going to be murdered. My family always has such faith in me. It really makes me feel awesome about myself.

Lost and Found

Do you ever just suddenly remember some random-ass thing you used to have; like an article of clothing, a piece of jewelry, a book, a CD, whatever, and desperately want it back? This happens to me every once in a while. Sometimes it's something that I used to really like and just lost interest in and stored somewhere. In which case I will go digging through all of my stuff searching for it. Other times it's something that I know damn well I got rid of long ago. In this case I sometimes still go ahead and dig through my stuff hoping I'm wrong and it's still there somewhere. I have no idea why this happens to me. You would think, if you're sure enough that you don't want something anymore that you actually get rid of it, you would continue to not want it. Yet, on a fairly regular basis, I find myself in a state of intense longing for some stupid thing I gave to Goodwill five years ago.

Social Anxiety Finally Pays Off

Today, someone came and knocked on our door. As usual, I was the only one home; so it was pretty much on me to answer it. Here's the thing though. I don't like answering the door. In fact, I fucking hate it. I don't care who it is. No one I want to speak to is ever going to just show up at my house without warning. I assumed it was just someone delivering a package or something, which for some reason is still super uncomfortable for me. So I hid, literally hid, in the other room until I heard him pull out of the driveway. Then I slowly sneaked toward the door (just to make sure he was really gone) and looked for whatever he had delivered. I saw nothing. So I opened the door to step out onto the porch. When I started to step outside, I saw some sort of small magazine lying on the mat. When I flipped it over I found that it was titled The Watchtower and was distributed by Jehovah's Witnesses. So yeah, dodged a bullet there.

Vegan Non-Humans

I know there is a pretty big controversy within the vegan movement about feeding vegan food to companion animals, specifically cats. For anyone who doesn't know, the debate is over the fact that cats are natural carnivores, and are therefore predisposed to be healthiest on a meat-based diet. While I do understand this argument, and can see why some vegans still choose to feed their cats meat-based food. I feed my cats vegan food, and here's why.
1- My research indicates that the only nutrient that cats need that can not be found in plant foods is taurine, and I found a vegan cat food which has synthetic taurine added to it.
2- The argument that vegan food can never be as healthy for cats as non-vegan food doesn't really work for me because there are tons of people who feed their cats cheap, chemical laden, meat-based food that is made from everything that was too horrible to put in human food. I guarantee the food I give my cats is healthier than that shit.
3- Some pet food companies actually use the bodies of euthanized companion animals in their food. Fucking gross!
4- Even if it is true that meat-based food is inherently healthier for cats than even the high quality vegan food, which I doubt, I just don't think I have any right to say "Because I know this particular animal personally, I am going to sacrifice the lives of many other animals just so that he can (maybe) be a tiny bit healthier than he would be otherwise. It just doesn't seem right.
5- I don't know what other people's experiences have been with feeding cats vegan food, but Kaya seems significantly healthier to me than he was before I changed his diet. He used to throw up all the time back when he was eating regular cat food. He still throws up sometimes ( he is still a cat after all) but not nearly as often as he used to. And Impala has been on a vegan diet as long as I've had him and he has more energy than any other creature I've seen in my life.

This is what my boys eat. Though, they only like it with nutritional yeast on top. Picky bastards. 

 

Carrie Complex

I have recently realized that a large part of the reason I have such a hard time connecting with people is because I am inherently suspicious of anyone who is ever nice to me. I can't help but assume that anyone who appears to like me, in any way, must have some ulterior motive. Not necessarily that they want to do anything as malicious as dump a bucket of blood on me (I'd never rule out that possibility though) just that they don't really mean it. Maybe they're being nice to me just because they're nice people and they feel obligated to be nice to me. Maybe they want something from me. Maybe they pity me. Maybe it really is some kind of joke. I don't know. All I do know is, when someone is nice to me, my first thought is NEVER "This person genuinely likes me." This is probably a very unhealthy thing. 

Also, I haven't actually seen the new Carrie yet. Has anyone seen it? Was it any good?

Victory!

I found them you guys! The gloves I wanted. They're not exactly like Black Widow's, but they're closer than I ever expected to actually find. They are stretchy, but still tough and have fake leather patches on the palms and over the knuckles. I found them yesterday at Dick's (I think that may have been the first time I was ever in that store, and I was pleasantly surprised. I'm not sure why I sort of assumed it was going to be awful, but it was honestly pretty cool) and they're called "training gloves." I'm not sure what exactly I'm training for, but I'm fairly certain it's something totally badass. In case you can't tell, I'm pretty excited about them, especially since my other ones officially gave out yesterday.

I also bought a GPS. You know, just in case I decide to take a trip. Like maybe to visit someone, or whatever.

So Exciting!

Last night my sister and I went to see my friend Rachel's exhibit at the Westmoreland Museum of American Art. She is a fantastic photographer, and it was so great to see her get some recognition for her work. She is also my oldest friend. She reminded me last night that we have known each other for twenty years, which is really cool and also makes me feel really old.

We also ended up going out with Rachel and some of her friends for a while, which was the most social interaction I have had for quite some time. It was very nice of her to invite us, since she knows better than anyone how shitty I am in social situations. I actually did better than I expected though. I think I was only moderately awkward, as opposed to holy-shit-so-fucking-awkward. So that was nice. I still kind of felt like whenever someone asked "How do you know Rachel?" and I said "We were homeschooled together" they probably thought "Oh. That explains a lot." Another of those stereotypes I try not to perpetuate, but still do.

I was also super honored to see a picture of Tuni and me a the exhibit. 

If I Must

I received a request for a picture of my creepy, stuck-together toes. Since I don't get many requests, I guess I kind of have to do it. I mean, it's my own fault for mentioning them in a previous post anyway. It's not like I'm terribly ashamed of them or anything, and honestly if I didn't live in WV I might even think they were kind of cool. The thing is, I feel like the rest of the world pretty much thinks of people from WV as inbred rednecks and here I am with my weird deformed toes, encouraging the stereotype.

The only thing that makes me feel more like a true West Virginian than my webbed feet is the way I sometimes pronounce the "an" sound. If I'm not careful, I end up saying it as two syllables "Ay-en" and it pisses me the fuck off! I think that actually bugs me more than the toes because I feel like I should be able to stop myself from doing that, whereas the toes are going to be there no matter what I do. Anyway, here they are; my deep, dark secret......that I.... voluntarily... told you guys about.......hmmmm.

New Favorite Musician

You guys know how excited I get when I find an artist I like and they turn out to be vegan, right? Well, I have a really good one for you guys. Jonny Ox . He's an amazing vegan singer/songwriter/poet. He has this great folky, acoustic sound and his lyrics are absolutely beautiful. And get this, he's from WV! Plus, he is just a really cool guy in general. So go listen to his music! Do it!

The Quest for a Decent Pair of Gloves

Remember a few days ago when I was bitching about how I can never seem to find exactly that I'm looking for online? Well, I need a new pair of gloves and I can't find any! I've been wearing the ones I made for quite some time now, and they're falling apart. All I can ever seem to find though are the knitted ones and they're just not practical for warm weather. I thought about buying weight lifting gloves, because they're sort of similar to what I want. Get this though, the men's sizes come in black but the women's sizes are all obnoxiously bright colors. Because, apparently, all women need their workout gear to be neon pink.

I really want some like these ^ and I can't find them anywhere. What really pisses me off is that I've seen several of my favorite characters wearing them, so they have to exist somewhere. Along with Black Widow, Captain America, Max Guevara, and Charles Gunn have all been known to wear gloves like these and I need some! Damn you internet! Where can I find these? and, more importantly, do they come in something other than leather? 

Thanks for Nothing, Survival Instinct

I was thinking today about how much our mindset affects us. I'm not just talking about how it affects our moods or attitudes, but how it actually interferes with our physical abilities. Like how you can do something really well, until you're nervous about it for some reason then you suddenly suck at it. I feel this is a major flaw in the design of the human psyche. The more important something is to us, the more likely we are to fail at it. Who thought that was a good idea?

In case you're wondering why I was thinking about this, it's because today I went up in the woods and was walking across a bunch of fallen trees (again) and I noticed that I'm really good at it when the trees are flat on the ground. If they're off the ground though, I start wondering how injured I would get if I fell off. The odds of it being bad enough to even bother me are slim, but then I start thinking how much it would suck to have to drag my ass off the hill with a broken leg. Plus there's my whole aversion to the medical industry, and it would just be a big mess. Anyway, by the time I think about all that stuff, I'm wobbling back and forth and looking like a fool. Not that it stops me from trying.

My brain keeps trying to tell me it would be like this.

It Can Buy Lots of Other Things Though

I got my first check from my new/old job today! I had almost forgotten how good it feels to have money. It's not like it's a lot because I'm not working very many hours, but still. It feels nice to know that, at least for the next few days until I spend it all, I can buy stuff I need without having to go deeper in debt by putting it on my fucking credit card. Also (fingers crossed) maybe I'll actually be able to pay off my credit card someday. Who knows, I might even be able to afford to go places and do things. It's even possible that I could get an actual life. But, then again, you know what they say "Money can't buy social skills."

Stress Relief

I had fully intended to write another "true love" post, in which I was going to bitch about my remarkably pathetic love life. Then, my mom, my sister, and I went to Cooper's Rock today. For some inexplicable reason climbing around on huge rocks, grape vines, and mostly rotten trees, and risking life and limb for no good reason always makes me feel a little better about my life. So I suppose I will just reserve my bitching for a later date.

True Love (?) Part 2:

As promised, here are some of the reasons why, I think, there are so many unsuccessful relationships.

1- Our society has become too obsessed with weddings. I honestly believe that there are some people who get married simply so they can have a wedding.

2- Divorce is so common now that people get married with the mindset of "Oh well, if it doesn't work out, we'll just get divorced."

3- As a society, we have become pretty fucking selfish and lazy. We want things to be perfect and if they're not, we give up on them.

4- We are impatient. We don't take the time to make sure that we are truly compatible with another person before jumping into a serious relationship.

5- Most people have so much going on their lives that they don't take the time to appreciate their relationships, or to try to make them work.

6- There was a time when life was much more simple. Today, we have so many options in life. The more options we have, the more opportunity we have to grow apart from another person.

7- No matter how hard we try not to, we're all still sort of hoping for that fairy tale.

8- We have short attention spans.

9- At the beginning of a relationship, people tend to only see what they want to see. Then, later, they only see what they don't want to see.

10- I'm not sure how many people will agree with this one, but I think it's pretty important. People need adversity. They need something to overcome. Furthermore, when two people overcome something together, it automatically creates a bond between them. When there are big problems to deal with, all the petty little problems don't seem very important. I think perhaps the relationships that come closest to "true love" are the ones in which the people have to face real struggles together. Not only does something like that make people realize how unimportant the little things are, but it also reminds them that they can count on each other.

Everybody always talks about how Max and Logan still love each other despite everything they've been through and all the things that have tried to keep them apart. I think maybe they love each other because of all that, not in spite of it. Maybe that's just me. 

True Love (?) Part 1: 500th Post

The other day, I asked for suggestions on what I should write about for my 500th post. Well, my dad said he wanted me to write about the idea of "true love." I informed him that I wrote a seven post series about love not long ago, but he still wanted me to. So here goes. I'm honestly not sure if "true love" exists or not. I have seen little hints of it here and there, but mostly it seems like most relationships tend to go to shit after a while.

Do you guys know where the term "soulmates" actually came from? I didn't until recently. In case you are as uninformed about the subject as I was, here's the story. It came from Greek mythology. Supposedly humans used to have four arms, four legs, and two faces. Zeus decided that humans were too powerful and were becoming a threat to the gods. So he split them in two, leaving each person with a deep longing to find the other half of his/her soul. Kind of beautiful, yeah? I also recently saw a theory someone from Tumblr came up with that the atoms that were together at the creation of the universe are drawn back to each other. Therefore, the people made up of those atoms are drawn to each other as well. I find that equally beautiful.

Anyway, I don't know about the whole soulmate thing. It's a really lovely idea, and sort of comforting to those of us who don't have the best luck with relationships "Oh, it's okay. I just haven't met my soulmate yet." Sounds a lot better than "I'm just unlovable." Unfortunately, I find it much more likely that the success or failure of a relationship depends much more on the attitudes of the people involved and, perhaps even more so, on the circumstances around them. I think tomorrow I'll talk about all the reasons I think so many relationships fail these days. Also, here's a cute little cartoon depicting the Greek myth.

Almost Like an Adult........Almost

I've been back working at the chiropractor's office for a couple of weeks now. It's kind of nice to not feel like a complete piece of shit, mooching off of other people. Even though that's still basically what I am, seeing as how about half of the appointments I was supposed to have since I've been back have cancelled. Oh well, at least I'm doing something, and bringing in a little bit of money. Also, I've actually been getting up early and keeping up with stuff around the house. We haven't even run out of clean clothes or clean dishes for the last two weeks! Now if I could just figure out this whole "social life" thing, I might actually feel like a real person. Sort of.