Monday, December 22, 2014

Happy Two Year Anniversary!

I have now been writing this blog for two years, if you can believe it. For the anniversary, I wanted to do something special. Since I couldn't come up with anything special, I decided to do something stupid instead. So here is a list of the best (or worst. I find it hard to tell the difference.) dating advice from my favorite shows.

1- Don't hide your enthusiasm.
2- Take every opportunity to use the word "nethers."

3- Always listen to the Pizza Man-
4- Plan fun activities
5- But leave your options open.

6- Always compliment the other person.
7- Be open and honest about your needs.

"I need to show you something........this body"

8- If you can't declare your feelings for someone, just declare their feelings for you instead
"You love me. No, you love me. You can't take it back. There are no take backs."

9- Buy thoughtful gifts.
10- But not the same thoughtful gift twice.

11- Don't be afraid to use creepy, overly explicit metaphors. 

12- Make sure you understand each other.

13- Try being a walking Freudian slip, like Felicity.

14- Remember that relationships can be complex

15- Tell the other person exactly how you feel.

16- Don't forget to clean the pipes.

17- Try being ridiculously, overly polite. 

18- Downplay your flaws. 

19- If you think there might be something there, but you're not sure, try beating the shit out of each other.

20- And, most importantly, never forget the most effective pick-up line in all of time and space.

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