Alas

The last couple of days I've been looking back over some of my various lists of goals, in preparation for my end of the year posts. It turns out that I actually did okay this year, goal wise. I accomplished most of the things on my list for the year, a few things from my overall list, and a several other things that just feel like decent accomplishments. The problem is, it doesn't really seem to matter. No matter how many things I cross off, my life is still pretty much just pathetic. I think about all the things I've done and go "That's pretty good." Then I think about how fucking stupid my life still is and go "Yeah, but...."