Angry, Nerdy Rant

Every once in a while, I'll read a book or watch a show or movie that just feel incredibly relevant to my life. The new episode of Arrow was on last night and it was one of those. There were several lines that just really resonated with me, along with the whole theme of the episode in general. There was this one scene in which Laurel asks Oliver to train her. She talks about having this fire inside her that she can't get rid of. In another scene, she talks about having anger that she doesn't know what to do with. That's pretty much how I feel all the time. I am constantly pissed off and I just feel like I need to be doing something, and the fact that I don't know what to do just makes me more pissed off.

Also in the episode, Malcolm is training Thea and (even though he might be kind of evil) he has some pretty great advice. He tells her that "pain is inevitable and suffering is optional" and that "the only way to forge steel is to temper it with fire." The thing that bugs me about that though is that I'm totally okay with that. I'm all for learning to endure pain, and facing struggle to become stronger. There is this scene where he has her hold her hand over a bowl of cold water while he pours molten wax over it. The goal being for her to hold it there and let it burn instead of putting it under the water. The whole time I'm thinking "Let me do that! I can do that!" What I can't do is get up every morning knowing that I'm going to have to do the same meaningless bullshit that I did the previous day, and put up with all the same stupid frustrations as the previous day, all the while knowing that it's all going nowhere.

Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure that in the real world you can't just decide to become a superhero because you're sick of your life.