Thursday, August 21, 2014

Oh, I'm Not Done Yet

You know my, even more excessive than usual, cursing from yesterday's post? Well, it's not over yet. In fact, you are about to find out exactly why I call this blog "Diary of a Volatile Vegan". So I'll warn you now, anyone who thinks they might possibly get offended should just move right on along.

Before I get started, I'll let you know that I seem to be unaffected by the almond butter of death. Apparently salmonella can take up to two days to kick in, and it has now been right around two days since I first ate from the questionable jar. This is an enormous relief, but it does not diminish my intense anger about this whole situation. Here's why; do you know how salmonella spreads? through shit. Do you know what plants don't do? shit! This means that MY food is being infected by germs coming from animal agriculture, either because of runoff from their enormous fucking waste pools, or because some dumbass thought it would be a good idea to use said waste as cheap fertilizer. This isn't the first time either. Recently there was a big thing about rice with arsenic in it. You know where that came from? Someone fertilizing the rice with manure from egg farms. That's right, factory farmed chickens are fed arsenic. Why? Because these people don't give a fuck what they feed them as long as they keep popping out eggs. Before that there was contaminated spinach, again, spinach doesn't shit!

The point here is that no matter how hard I try to stay away from every aspect of animal exploitation industries, they are ALWAYS worming their way into my life. They sneak their nasty little byproducts into everything they possible can, right now there's a big controversy because some of the supposedly cruelty-free companies are advocating for some bill that's supposed to make products "safer" but really means more mandatory animal-testing (which, by the way, makes NOTHING safer!), and now their shit is trying to give me motherfucking food-poisoning!

Even if you don't give a flying fuck about animal rights (which, by the way, you should if you have half a soul) you should care that these assholes are ruining everything! Along with torturing animals, they are contaminating the food, the water, the air, and even those of us who refuse to support their evil fucking business have to deal with the results. These, evil, soulless motherfuckers need to be stopped before they destroy the whole goddamed planet.

Let's stick with the Godfreys, shall we? They have such a way with words. We'll go with Roman today.
"She" in this situation being anyone with the slightest association with animal agriculture.


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