Do you ever have something that you simultaneously do and do not want to do? This happens to me all the time. For example, my kickboxing class. I really like it, I look forward to it for days. Then, when it's time to actually go to class, I don't want to go. It's like a couple of hours before class I suddenly remember that I'm mostly just going to go embarrass myself. Which is true, by the way. It also happens to be worth it, which I always remember once I get there. Still, there is that short window of time right beforehand when I always almost decide not to go.
If you need an example of exactly how I embarrass myself, tonight I had to jump rope. I never even did that when I was a kid, let alone now. I basically looked like this the entire time. It was terrible.