Wednesday, May 13, 2015

That'll Do, Pig-Girl

Do you ever feel like you know what people are saying about you, without them ever actually saying it to your face? I'm pretty sure that (at least to everyone who lives near me, if not to everyone else) I'm the crazy pig girl. As if having adopted pigs isn't weird enough, at least here in WV, I'm also just always doing strange stuff at my house and, when people happen to drive by, I can almost hear what they're thinking. "What is that crazy pig-girl doing now?" "Is that pig-girl trying to do cartwheels!?" "What the hell is that pig-girl doing standing on top of that trailer?" "Look, now that crazy fucking pig-girl is walking on the porch railing!" "What is that crazy pig-girl yelling about?!" (Usually it's because Petunia got mud up her nose and then snorted, when I tried to hand her a carrot, and blew a combination of mud and snot in my face). "What is that ridiculous thing they're building over there (the salmon ladder)? Weird fucking pig-girl!"
There was this weird show my dad and I used to watch years ago, called The Chronicle. There was a character called Pig-Boy ^ and yes that is, in fact, Metatron (Curtis Armstrong) with a pig nose. 

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