For Me

In the course of the conversation I mentioned yesterday, my mom also said something about how in order to feel better about yourself, you have to do things that make you feel good about yourself and stop doing things that make you feel bad about yourself. I then informed her that that is basically what my entire life is about. I try my best to do things that I feel I should do; because they are the right thing to do, or because I feel that they will help me to grow as a person, because they will help me to gain some skill or knowledge that I want to have, or simply because they help me to look/feel/act like the person I really want to be. I also do my best to never do things that I feel are wrong or simply unappealing, because I know that I lose respect for myself when I do those things.

My mom seemed to be under the impression that I put so much effort into certain things because I'm trying to impress other people, but that's not the case. I work so hard on myself because it makes me feel better, not because I except anyone else to care. If I were simply trying to attract other people I would do quite a few things differently. 1- I wouldn't work out as much. Most people don't seem to think being really muscular is appealing for a girl. 2- When I did workout I would probably do fucking Zumba or something instead of the martial arts type stuff I do now. 3- I would spend more time trying to do things with my hair/makeup/whatever that look like what other girls do, and less time trying to do things that I think look cool. 4- I would probably also stop dressing like I might be on my way to comic con.....

^The Guild. If you haven't seen it, it's pretty hilarious, and who doesn't love Felicia Day?