If Only I Had a Mission

You all know my life is super boring, right? Well then it shouldn't come as much of a shock to you that I frequently have dreams about TV shows or movies (or at least the characters from them) instead of things related to my actual life. Sometimes I appear in these dreams as myself, sometimes I will see things from the perspective of one of the characters, other times I will actually take the place of one of the characters. I know that's really fucking weird, and quite pathetic, but I've gotten used to that. Since we're watching Sarah Connor now, that's what I dreamed about last night. I remember little about it, as with most of my dreams. What I do remember is that I took the place of Cameron who, if you don't know, is a reprogrammed terminator. The sad part is, that is actually very appropriate. I do probably relate to her more than anyone else on the show, or most other shows, or most other people for that matter. Everyone on the show is always treating her like shit, and I'm always going "Why the fuck is everyone so mean to Cameron?!" Well the answer (obviously) is that it's because she's just a machine, so who cares? There is this ongoing joke on the show about people, who don't know what she is, thinking she has some kind of social disorder because she's pretending to be human and she's not very good at it. The things is though, she acts a lot like I do most of the time. In fact, one of my old friends once told me I was like a machine. I think he meant it as a joke, but he was right. At least Cameron has a mission to focus on, instead of stressing about the fact that people don't think of her as a human. 

"Are you happy?" "I'm a machine. I can't be happy." 

Post-Apocalyptic Hobbies

Tonight my dad and I were watching Sarah Connor Chronicles and, in one of the scenes with Derek, my dad said "I wonder where he found the time to get all the tattoos?" If you don't know the show, Derek is from the future; you know, after the machines destroy everything and the whole planet is basically a huge wasteland. The point is, there probably aren't many tattoo studios around in his time. Well, as I told my dad, it makes perfect sense to me. If I were in his position probably one of the first things I would do is learn to do my own tattoos. I mean think about it; when they aren't fighting for their lives, they're just sitting around in tunnels with nothing to do to occupy their time. It's not like they can watch TV or check Facebook. What better way to keep yourself busy than practicing your tattooing skills? Plus, you could practice as much as you want and who really cares? So you tattoo your arm and it comes out looking all shitty. That arm is probably going to be blown halfway across the state the next day anyway.

"What Can I Say? I Want to Do Everything. Is That Too Much to Ask?"

Today, my mom and I were talking about career possibilities. This always, inevitably, leads to much frustration and confusion. You see, she is offering me all of these, seemingly, great options for different things I could do, and I have no idea how to make her understand why none of them would work for me. I have put hours upon hours of thought into this, and I can't come up with a solution for this problem. The problem being that I get so fucking bored with everything! Nearly every job on the planet has at least some tiny aspect that I find appealing; that's why I have considered (and in several cases actually worked toward) having so many different jobs. The thing is, after a very short time, those things that appealed to me fade into the background and I find myself completely hating the job. What I really want is to do everything. I want to be everything. I need my life to make a difference, to make things better, to change the world. I need to have a creative outlet, to create, to make something beautiful. I need to have something physical to do, to use my strength, to feel powerful. I need to use my mind, to think things through, to analyze things. I don't think there is any career out there that would let me do all of those things, and  I can't stand having a job that doesn't (at least not for any length of time). What am I supposed to do about that?

".....I figure, once I settle on one thing I've excluded everything else. There are so many things I'd like to be." 

Ms. Nobody 2: Still Nobody

Yesterday I said I would write a new post about the idea that each of our choices creates an alternate universe, since some people (Dad!) don't remember my post about it from my old blog. To be fair, I'm sure practically no one remembers that post and most of you probably never even saw it in the first place. 

Anyway, it was inspired by a movie called Mr. Nobody, which I highly recommend. The basis of the movie is that we see all of the different paths one guy's life could take depending on the choices he makes. They showed it in such a way that all of these different lives seem to be happening at once though. 

This made me start to wonder about the possibility of another version of myself who made better decisions than I have, and is therefore living a better life than I am. Then I started thinking about how even the most mundane decision have the potential to cause enormous changes in our lives. When my dad and I were talking about this yesterday, I used the example of the decision of what to eat for breakfast. I said that if you are trying to decide whether to eat cereal or pancakes (both vegan, of course) that you would create two universes, one in which you eat pancakes and one in which you eat cereal. He said "I think it would probably have to be bigger decisions than that to create a whole new universe." But if you really think about it, that decision could have the potential to change everything for you. 

Say it's the weekend and you are planning to go grocery shopping that day. You wake up and you think "Should I have pancakes or cereal for breakfast before I leave?" Well, pancakes would take longer to make; so that would put you, lets say, ten minutes later than if you had the cereal? So you leave the house ten minutes later and because of that you happen to reach a particular intersection at the very moment that someone in another car takes his eyes off the road, and you are killed in a crash. Or we could say that, because you were ten minutes later, you end up being at the grocery store at the same time as someone who you fall madly in love and spend the rest of your life with, or someone who winds up offering you your dream job, or someone who becomes your closest friend, etc. But then, you could think of it the other way and leaving the house ten minutes earlier could put you in the position to die horribly, or to change your life for the better. 

The point here is, even the most mundane choices could potentially be the most important decisions we ever make, and we have no way of knowing whether they are, or whether we made the right ones, or whether there is some alternate version of us out there who made the opposite choice and is far better off because of it. Every time I leave my house (or choose not to leave my house, for that matter) I can't help but wonder what opportunities I may have missed, or created, by leaving (or not leaving) precisely when I did. I know that was long and rambling and kind of insane. Sorry.   

Only 12 hours left to vote  for me in PETA's Sexiest Vegan Next Door Contest. Then you won't have to hear any more about it :) 

Parallel Universes

My dad and I are now watching The Sarah Connor Chronicles. So far I have still only seen the first season, since I never did get my copy of the second season to play. Now my dad is watching it though, so we ordered another copy of the second season to replace the shitty one I bought.

Anyway, I warned him before he started watching it that it was a good show, but he had to ignore the absurd number of paradoxes. We started talking about how the only way the show would work is if you assume it is based on the multiverse theory of time travel. So every time someone comes back to change the past they are simply creating a new timeline in which things will happen differently than the future they came from. Otherwise the whole show is just a big ball of nonsense.

Well, that discussion lead to a discussion about the idea that every choice we make creates a new universe in which we made the opposite choice of the one we made in this universe (did that sentence actually make sense?). I mentioned to him that a long time ago, on my old blog, I wrote a post about that idea. He said "I don't remember that. You should write another one." So I think for tomorrow's post I will write about that. Stay tuned for crazy, complicated, theoretical physics as interpreted by someone who knows next to nothing about physics!

Only 36 hours left to vote :) 

Efficiency

This may seem like a contradiction to those of you who know me, and how much of my time I waste (at least by the average person's standards) on a daily basis, but I have this thing about efficiency. I need everything I do to be done in the most efficient way possible. Even when I'm doing stupid, unnecessary things I need to do them in the most time-effective manner. This means that I am a compulsive multi-tasker. At this very moment, I have seven tabs open. I am writing this post, checking my email, signing petitions, looking at Facebook, checking Pinterest (which requires multiple tabs) and searching for an image to use for this post. I am this way about everything in my life though. I drive fast. I walk fast. When I go shopping, I go straight to the thing I need, get it, and get back out. I am extremely picky about what I eat, above and beyond just being vegan, because I need to feel like there is nothing in my food that is not doing something good for my body. Every calorie needs to pull it's weight. When I work out I do every move more times, or with more intensity, or faster, or longer, or with more weight, or with more stretch, than is actually required. I need to feel like every move counts. On the other hand, back when I used to drink from time to time, I always drank the strongest thing available. I didn't see any need to have ten mixed drinks when I could take a shot or two of 151 and be good to go.

"My god, girl, look at your eyes. What have you been drinking, gasoline?"

*I'm not 100% sure that is the image that goes with that line, but it was the closest I could find. 

**In case you were confused, I wanted to use that line because 151 tastes like gasoline. 

***Vote for me?
 

You Got Me Again, Powers That Be

I recently discovered this game store that sells a ton of used DVDs and I have been going there regularly looking for movies and series to watch. A few weeks ago, I found season one of Terminator; The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I didn't really expect to like it, because I never got into the Terminator movies, but it was cheap and Summer Glau is in it so I thought I'd give it a try. Well, once I started watching it, I got really into it and watched the whole season in a few days. Then I go online trying to find the second season and there are apparently not many out there. Plus most of the ones I could find were crazy expensive. Finally I found one on Amazon for a fairly reasonable price and spent a week waiting around for it to get here. It finally came today and I was super excited until I looked at it. First off, I noticed that it was in the weirdest, and most illogical DVD case I have ever see. The DVDs just stack right on top of each other, no dividers. Then I look on the front and notice a sticker which reads "Lane County Library". I thought "That can't be a good sign." Sure enough, when I looked at the disks, every one was scratched to shit. I decided to give them a shot anyway; sometimes they will fool you like that. Nope! The first disk (which was the least scratched) froze up once, and then later just stopped completely. Awesome. Also, the part where it absolutely refuses to go any further is this really intense scene where you know something crazy is about to happen and now how will I know what was going to happen?!

If you haven't yet, please vote for me in PETA's Sexiest Vegan Next Door Contest. 

To Be the First

Lately I have noticed a recurring theme, in many of the shows/movies I've been watching, of people (specifically scientists in these cases, though it could just as easily happen to anyone) accidentally creating terrible things out of simple curiosity and desire to do something that has never been done before. I started thinking about that, and it occurred to me that a lot of the problems in our world may be due to this phenomena. People naturally want to do memorable things. We all want to feel that we are somehow special, that we have done something remarkable. If we see an opportunity to do that, we may very well overlook the possible implications of our actions. There is an inherent sense of fulfillment that comes from the idea of being the first. The first person to do something, no matter what that thing is or what it may lead to, is automatically remembered and often idolized. I think it is a fairly common occurrence for people to want so badly to leave something behind that they inadvertently leave behind something awful. Sorry, I don't have any helpful insights into what could be done about this. It's just something I've been thinking about.

Okay, I have officially used up all of these pictures.There are still four more days left to vote though. 

Nonsensical

I really need to start writing these posts in the morning again. I've found that the later at night I write, the less I give a shit what I write about, or how well I write it. Back when I was writing in the mornings, I used to write (what I thought were) fairly well thought out and semi-intelligent posts. Now I'm like "Hey! I know! I'll write about how I want to date my clone!" The sad thing is, I have a few ideas I've been meaning to write about forever, but by the time I get around to writing I'm like "Nah, that'll take too long. I'll just write about frogs instead." So yeah, I'm going to work on that.

Vote :) 

This Could Be a Problem

I was just scrolling through Pinterest (because that's how I spend a disproportionate amount of my time) and I saw a pin which read "I want to find the male version of me. That would be epic." At first I thought "Hahah, that's kind of cute." Then I thought "Holy fuck! Do you know how much easier life would be if I could find someone who was just like me?" I mean, people say that opposites attract, and that you need someone who will balance you out, and all that. But you know what? No! What I need is someone who gets all of my weird-ass neuroses, and cares about the things that I care about, and likes all of the goofy shit that I like, and who won't think I'm psychotic when I try to make a joke. If I were to go through the list of all the things that other people do that drive me fucking crazy and the list of things that I do that are likely to drive anyone else fucking crazy, I'm fairly certain that the only relationship I could ever have that wouldn't end in disaster is with someone who is 99% me. So, yeah, I'm probably doomed. On the upside, in my case it wouldn't necessarily have to be the "male version of me". For all I care, it could be the fucking Cylon version of me. If there is another being out there in the universe that understands my insanity, I'll take it.

Vote for me :) Come on, you know you want to. 

If Wishes Were Horses........

Does anyone reading this know how that ^ statement is supposed to end? I finally do, because I finally remembered to look it up. Apparently it is one of Joss Whedon's favorite sayings because it is referenced in both Firefly, by Jayne, and in Angel, by Spike (looks like wishes are horses today). Every time I've watched those episodes, which is quite a few times at this point, I've thought it sounded familiar and that I should know what the rest of it is. No one else seemed to know it though. I asked both of my parents and neither of them had ever heard it before. So now I'm wondering why I recognized it when other people didn't. I mean, I assume it's a fairly well known saying or else Joss Whedon wouldn't have referenced it without any context the way he, repeatedly, did. Right? Also, why does shit like this not bother other people. If I hadn't had any idea what that meant, it would have bugged me way more than it did. Do other people seriously just hear references in shows and movies that they totally don't understand and then just let it go? Because I don't do that. By the way, the end is ".....beggars would ride." Just so you know.

Only a few days left to vote.

You Really Mean It This Time?

Tonight, I was on my way to my mom's house and I saw something moving across the road in front of me. At first I thought it was a leaf, but the closer I got the more it seemed to be jumping. I thought "Holy shit! Is that actually a frog?" Because if it was a frog, that means that winter has to be over, right? I mean frogs never come out until winter is over. However, it was pretty dark and I couldn't really tell for sure, so I thought "Oh well, it was probably just a leaf." Then it happened two more times and I thought "Those had to be frogs!" But still, I didn't want to get my hopes up too much. Now as I am sitting here on my bed, I can hear through the window the clear and very distinct sound of frogs. (Happy dance).

Vote for me?

Homework

Today, my dad was watching the local news and I overheard part of a segment about the amount of homework kids are getting every day. As some of you may know, I was homeschooled as a kid. I always heard kids on TV, as well as kids I knew who attended public school, complain about homework. When I went to school for the first time I was a bit concerned about this. I thought it was going to be this huge ordeal trying to get my homework done every night. Well, as it turned out, the entire time I was in public school I almost never had any homework.

The people I overheard on the news today were quoting statistics about the number of kids with two or more hours of homework per day. I thought "Two or more hours! What the fuck?" I never had that much homework. Never. Then I remembered how many kids used to bitch about how much homework they had back when I was still in school, and how many of those kids just sat in class and bullshitted around instead of doing the work during class time. So I'm thinking that the overabundance of homework may in fact be a side-effect of kids having, you know, lives (something I never actually had when I was in school, or now for that matter).

Also, one of the people they interviewed on the news was a grandmother who stated that she did not believe that her grandchildren had more homework than her children had, but that the work was definitely harder. Well no shit! We have developed a little bit as a society over the last thirty years! I would certainly hope that we know a little more now than the previous generation. Otherwise what's the fucking point of trying to teach kids anything at all?

Hey, if I want anyone to vote for me I have to talk about education, right? 

I Mean Come On, It's Your Civic Duty

Voting is now officially open on PETA's Sexiest Vegan Next Door Contest. If you could all go VOTE FOR ME , I would greatly appreciate it :) In fact, you will have my undying love and gratitude. Anyway, the voting is only open for ten days and I have seven pictures from the photo shoot my sister did to get my contest photo. So I will probably use them for my posts for the next week. I'm still going to write about other things though. I'm not just going to harass you guys about this for ten days, I promise. This one is the official contest photo. They made me crop it all to hell, and I'm a bit annoyed by that, but it still turned out okay.

So Cool

A few days ago, I rented The Wolverine from Redbox and today I finally got around to watching it. It was good; I thoroughly enjoyed it. What I enjoyed more though was finding what I think is my new favorite, comic-based, character; Yukio. She is fucking fantastic! Everything about her is just so incredibly badass. First of all, she is an amazing fighter. She saves Logan's ass on multiple occasions. Second, her weapon of choice is a sword, which is definitely what I would choose. Third, she is super brave and not in that "I want to go with you, but then you have to drop what you're doing and come save me when I get in trouble." way that a lot of female characters in these kinds of movies are.

Fourth, she and I have practically the same sense of style. Those boots look just like mine. I had those same socks a few years ago and wore them util there was nothing left of them. I had my hair that color for years, and probably still would if mine didn't fade to obnoxious pink after about a week. I even lover her coat; assuming that's not real sheep, which I'm fairly certain it's not. 

P.S. At the beginning of this movie, Logan gets into a fight with a dumbass hunter who killed his bear friend. This automatically gets it a thumbs up from me. It was still really good after that too though. 

True Love

It's late, and I'm tired, and I forgot to write a post today (well technically yesterday, at this point) so I am just going to talk about Victor and Sierra from Dollhouse. They are my absolute favorite TV couple of all time. If you haven't seen the show, which most people probably haven't, you won't really know what I'm talking about. But they have the sweetest, purest, and (occasional "man reactions" not withstanding) most innocent love ever portrayed on TV. There is just something so wonderful about people who love each other with absolutely no other motives or expectations. I'm not sure that ever even exists in real life, except maybe in small children. On the show, they often refer to the people in the Dollhouse as being in an infantile state, and that is sort of what Victor and Sierra seem like; two infants who somehow fell in love. They have no idea what it means to be in a relationship the way adults see it. They just know that they want to be around each other, and they each want the other to be happy. They don't expect anything from the other person. In fact, they wouldn't even have any idea what they should expect. They just love each other, that's all. I think that's really beautiful.

For anyone who has seen the show, the episode where Victor tries to get rid of all the black paint because he thinks it is making Sierra sad is the sweetest thing I think I have ever seen in my entire life. 

I'm Rich! Oh Wait........

I got my tax refund check today. That was pretty cool. I'm actually so broke that I got back more than I payed in, which is nice. It's kind of like the government said "Hey! You're a worthless piece of shit. Here have some free money." Of course I'm no fool, so naturally I said "Okay! Thanks!" Now the only question is "What do I do with nearly $800.00 of extra money?" Oh that's right, I pay my bills and don't starve for a month or so. Well, that makes it much less exciting......

There for a minute, it felt kind of like this. 

Good Stuff, Like Really Good

You guys remember that perfume I mentioned a while back? Well, I ordered some and it's fucking amazing! The shop is called Sarawen Perfume Art, all of her stuff is vegan and they are all based on really cool things, like fictional characters and whatnot. I bought Wayward Son which is inspired by Sam Winchester. It said it was a unisex scent, and I was nervous that it would be too manly smelling for me to actually wear, but it's not. Now I'm just nervous that I'm going to end up being one of those girls who wears way too much perfume because I like it so much that I keep putting more on. Basically, what I'm saying is............

Seriously, I fucking love it! Plus she seems like a really cool person. So check out her store. The Supernatural ones are listed under "Gothic" if you're looking for them. 

That's Two Points for Me

You guys know by now that 1- I like weird things, and 2- When I like things, I like them A LOT. Well,  the fact that I like things that most people don't like means that I often have no one to talk to about the things I like (okay, I keep saying "like" when I really mean "LOVE!"). I mean, my dad does like a lot of the same shows I do, but he usually only half pays attention to them and doesn't read nearly as much into them as I do. My mom has never liked any kind of Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Horror, etc, at all. She usually just refused to even watch those sorts of things. But I think I'm starting to bring her around to my side. I convinced her to watch Supernatural a while back, and she liked it so much that she has now watched the whole thing (seasons 1-8) with me, twice. I had been trying for a while to get her to give Firefly a try and she finally agreed, and guess what? She likes it!

A Perfect Summary of Cats

I am currently reading the third Sandman collection "Dream Country". It contains a story called "A Dream of a Thousand Cats". This particular story is pretty interesting for several reasons. First of all, it is told from the perspective of cats, which is kind of cool in and of itself. Second, there is a little bit of an animal rights theme because one of the cats is talking about wanting to rebel against humans because her "masters" killed her kittens for not being purebred. Third, she presents the idea that if enough people (in this case, cats) dream about the same thing at the same time, it becomes real. The Dream Lord, who appears to her as The Cat of Dreams tells her that cats once ruled the world, but the humans got together and decided to dream of a world in which they were the rulers. This changed reality and cats became small and submissive to the humans. She is going on a sort of pilgrimage around the world trying to convince all the cats to dream themselves back into a position of power. Supposedly, it would only take a thousand of them. The fourth thing that was so great about it was the line that I think pretty much sums up the very core of what cats are. A kitten asks one of the older cats if he believes that it will happen and the older cat replies "Little one, I would like to see anyone- prophet, king, or god -persuade a thousand cats to do anything at the same time." Yep, that sounds about right.

For Other Wannabe Superheroes

I added two utility belts to my shop today. One I'm actually pretty proud of, the other is sort of eh, but oh well. I bought stuff to make more of them, so I intend to have a better variety in the near future. I also officially entered the Sexiest Vegan Next Door Contest, voting hasn't opened yet though. When it does, you guys could, like, go vote for me, and stuff (hint, hint, nudge, nudge). Anyway, here's the belt I like the best.

Not too bad for the second one I ever made, right? Even though I basically just sewed two, already made, things together.  

Flying Pigs Jewelry Lives!

I finally got some things posted in my Etsy store! Including four ceramic pendants, and the Panteater. I know it's quite unlikely that anyone will want to buy him, but I just had to post him anyway. So yeah, if you're interested in some weird clay stuff, you should check out my store. In the next day or so, I plan to get at least a couple of the utility belts on there too. So keep an eye out for that. Also, apparently, the best way to get more views on your blog posts is to include half-naked pictures of yourself. Yesterday's post got almost twice as many views as I generally get. Go figure.

Sexiest Vegan Next Door Contest

Okay, so I decided to enter PETA's Sexiest Vegan Next Door Contest. I know it's kind of stupid but, I don't know, I thought it might be kind of fun. Every year, PETA send out their announcement about the contest, and every year I think "You know what? That sounds like it might be kind of fun." Well, this year I realized that if I wait much longer I'm going to feel too old to enter without feeling weird about it. So, fuck it! I'm doing it. Anyway, my sister does photography so I got her to take some pictures for me today. She is excellent and you should "Like" her Facebook page. Also, let me know which picture you think I should use for the contest. I'm currently leaning toward this one.

For Real This Time

I really am working on getting my Etsy store back up and running. Hopefully I will have some things listed in the next couple of days. I tried to list some things today but (shockingly!) our internet cut out while I was working on them. On a related note, last night, I spent a ridiculously long time drawing a picture to use for the new banner on my Etsy page. It turned out fairly shitty by most people's standards, but for me it was pretty decent. I'm actually sort of proud of it. Then I tried to put it on my page and it ended up all cut in half so you can't actually tell what it is. Hopefully I will get that figured out soon too. Anyway, here it is in it's original, non-goofily-cropped format.

How About if Everybody Just Calms the Fuck Down?

My dad is out of town for a couple of days, so I actually have the house to myself for the first time in I don't even know how long. This would be kind of nice, were it not for the fact that all of the animals like him better than me and are therefore throwing a collective fit! Every one of them is completely spazzing out and being a general pain in my ass. So instead of having some nice time to myself, I have every animal in the house following me around and looking at me like "Why did it have to him who disappeared and not you?!" Also, barking, lots and lots of barking.

Basically they're acting like this. 

The Dinosaur of Anger!

What in the fucking hell is this? Has anyone else ever gotten this? Is it a Hughesnet thing? Is it my computer? I have never seen this anywhere else, on any other computer. But the last week this son of a bitch shows up on my screen ten..... twenty times a day. I don't know what is going on, but holy fuck have I grown to hate this little bastard!

Sometimes I Actually Do Stuff

So, I'm putting a hold on the whole metalworking idea for a little while. I'm really not giving up on it entirely but, for the time being, I'm going to try making jewelry out of the clay itself. I finally manged to finish a few of the pieces, and I kind of like some of them the way they are. Also, precious metals are expensive as fuck and I figure its better to make things out of good clay rather than shitty metal.

I also made a few of those utility belts I was telling you guys about, and they turned out pretty decent . I'll post pictures of them sometime soon. 

Anyway, my point here is; I'm actually getting some stuff done and I plan on trying to get some things back in my abandoned Etsy shop in the very near future. 

Here are the ones I'm fairly pleased with. 

Too Much?

After the, seemingly, endless search which resulted in the Mitchell glove fiasco I decided "Fuck it! I'll just make my own." So Yesterday, I cut the fingers off a pair of gloves I had, dismantled an old pair of boots and made my own damn Mitchell gloves. I can't decide if I actually like them or not though. They might be a little more goth than I intended. Thoughts? Opinions? Insults?

Of course, I'm sure the black nail polish doesn't help. But I like black nail polish, so whatever. 

Angry Rant Immediately Followed by Nerdy Ramble

I swear, this shitty internet connection is going to push me right over the edge. I keep forgetting to write a post, because I'm used to writing them in the morning. Unfortunately, the internet has decided that it just doesn't do mornings anymore. It doesn't really do much of anything anymore, come to think of it.

Anyway, my dad and I finished Angel today. I don't remember if I said this when I watched it the first time or not, but the last episode of Angel is one of my favorite episodes of any show I've ever seen. I'm not going to go into too much detail because I don't want to ruin it for anyone who might watch it in the future, but there are just some ridiculously great scenes and some fairly profound lines in that episode that just really resonate with me. Plus, Spike's infamous poetry scene that I use as the image for all of my poems.

And this ^ fucking scene! Holy shit! 

Can I at Least Get a Cool Outfit?

You know how people inevitably change over time? Well am I the only one who feels like, as opposed to the normal evolutionary sort of change in which you learn from your experiences and grow as a person, your life has just sort of hollowed you out and left you as a shittier version of the person you used to be? Probably I am. I used to genuinely feel like a good person, never a happy person, but a good person. Now I just feel like a huge asshole trying desperately (and failing miserably) to pretend to be a good person.

I got taken over by an evil bitch and didn't even get to be super strong or anything. All I got out of the deal was an exceptionally scary voice that (sometimes) makes the dogs listen to me when I tell them to do stuff. 

Does It Still Count?

It's after midnight so I suppose I officially skipped a day's post. The reason is that our internet is still being exceptionally shitty. It's all slow, and sporadic, and generally infuriating. This wouldn't be so bad if I had anything else to do with my time, but I really just don't. I mean, I guess I kind of do, but I need the internet to get me in a good enough mood to do those other things without putting my fist through the wall or something. Also, I ordered the next Sandman book forever ago and it's still not here! No internet and no book, grrrrrrrarrrghhhhh!