Thursday, November 27, 2014

Gee Thanks

It's time again for my Annual Angry Thanksgiving Rant. Are you ready? Here it is.

Thanksgiving is the worst holiday ever, and here's why-

1- It's actually about absolutely nothing that it claims to be about.
2- It is, by far, the most miserable day of the year for vegans (unless they happen to be lucky enough to have a group of other vegans to spend it with. Even then it still kind of sucks.).
3- It mostly involves forcing people to pretend to get along with people they don't get along with at all.
4- It encourages a multitude of unhealthy behaviors.
5- Our society is so fucked up that a day that is supposedly about being thankful for what we have is immediately followed by a day dedicated to insane greed and rampant consumerism.
6- The fact that people say "Happy Turkey Day!" and I have to pretend that I don't feel the overwhelming desire to strangle them.
7- We are so oblivious that we don't see anything wrong with the fact that the origin of Thanksgiving was the Native Americans basically saving the pilgrims from starvation, and that they "thanked" them for it by murdering them and stealing their land.
8- The fact that no one thinks it's completely horrifying to be "thankful" for the corpse of a murdered bird with a bunch of bread shoved up his ass, and that no one seems to care that he would have been thankful for not being tortured and killed.
9- Everyone thinks you're a horrible person if you have the nerve to point out any of these things.
10- (This year specifically) I didn't get to go to Farm sanctuary's Celebration FOR the turkeys, which is the only thing that ever makes me not hate this holiday with a fiery passion.


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