My Brain Is an Asshole

I swear there is some little piece of my brain that thinks the most fun thing in the world is to sabotage me, in every possible way. Yesterday was my day off, and I had all these things I was planning to get done. As usual, my plans didn't quite pan out. I thought "That's okay. I'll just get up early tomorrow and do it." So I set my clock for 6:00. I woke up at 8:56, which is about two hours later than I get up when I don't have shit-tons of housework to do. Fucking awesome! Thanks brain!

There's a chance it may be Scorpius. 

My People!

For anyone who doesn't know, I have a tattoo that takes up a large part of my forearm. It has pictures of various animals and says "Vegan" underneath. People at work ask me about it all the time. Usually they say "What does your tattoo say?" or "Can I see your tattoo?" When they realize what it says they either say something like "What does veg-un mean?", make a bad joke, or just look all awkward and say "I like it." obviously hoping that will be the end of the conversation.

So last night, this guy comes up to check out with four kids; his wife was still walking around in the store somewhere. As I'm ringing up their stuff, the guys says to the kids "Look at the lady's tattoo." I turned my arm so the kids could see it, thinking he just wanted them to see the pictures of the animals. Then he asks them "Do you know what that says?" One of the kids, who was probably six or seven says "Vegan". I was totally shocked. Not only did this little kid know how to pronounce it, but he said it like he knew exactly what it meant. Then the guy tells me that he and his wife have been vegetarian for years and that none of the kids have ever had meat. YES! They do exist! 

I'm Under Attack

Yesterday, as I was on my way to work, I had the windows down, and the radio blasting, and was just trying desperately to ignore the fact that I was running late for work, and the fact that I didn't want to be going in the first place. Suddenly, I feel something tickling the side of my neck. I didn't really think anything of it, a fallen hair? a fly who had come in through the window? my imagination? So I reach up to brush whatever it is off, and I feel it fall down onto my chest. Okay, so not my imagination, too heavy to be a hair, flies don't usually fall. I look down and there, sitting on chest, just staring at me is this angry looking spider. At first I thought "I'll just pick him up and toss him back out the window, that he apparently just came swinging in through." However 1-I couldn't catch him, 2-The harder I tried to catch him, the angrier he got and the more concerned I became that he might bite me, and 3- I wasn't entirely sure that he wouldn't just land in the road and get run over. As I'm looking for a good place to pull over where I can quickly get him out of my car, get back on the road, and maybe maybe make it to work on time, he continues to run all over my body. At one point, I lost track of him for a second and then realized that he was hiding under the edge of my leg. I finally find a good place to pull over, push myself up so I'm sort of hovering above him and try to quickly pick him up and throw him out. He was too fast for me. He dove onto the floor before I could grab him. So I picked up a piece of paper off the floor and tried to flick him out. Apparently in the two seconds between when he hit the floor and when I picked up the paper, he had managed to tie himself down, because when I flicked him out he just bounced right back in. It took me four tries to finally get him to stay out.

Okay, so he looked nothing like the Racnoss and he was actually kind of cute, but that doesn't negate the fact that he was a talented and dedicated little warrior.

P.S. I made it to work with 7 seconds to spare.

Well, that Makes 300

I've been trying to use every hundredth post as sort of a recap of everything that has happened in my life since the last hundredth post. Unfortunately, very little has happened since post number 200. So, I decided to sort of look back on my life as a whole. Probably a big, big, fucking mistake. But whatever.

Anyway, if I look back on any particular period in my life, I find that I am a completely different person than I was during any other time in my life. If I think about who I was just a couple of years ago, I barely even recognize myself. I look different, act different, feel different. I have different interests, different goals, different desires. Here's the funny thing though, if I look back on myself from ten years ago, I'm nothing like I was two years ago. However, I'm not sure I'm any further from who I am now. Is it really possible for someone to become an entirely different person every couple of years without ever actually getting any closer to being the person they want to be? It seems the answer is yes. I just keep changing and hoping that someday I'll change into something better, but it seems like the only parts of me that stay the same are the parts that continually fuck me over in my life. Happy 300th post! 

Why Don't You Just Let Us Carry It?

Yesterday, my dad and I had to go pick up a couch that my grandma had bought. It was one of the ones that has recliners built in to it. These two guys were carrying it out of the store for us; and to be fair the thing was fairly heavy, but holy fuck did these guy complain a lot. At one point, one of the guys asked my dad if he could pull the trailer closer because "This thing is really heavy!" My dad, who gets a real kick out of screwing with guys like this, says "Oh! Is it?" The guy replies "Just imagine, two recliners and a couch all at once!" I had a really hard time not laughing at the guy. "Picture if you will....TWO recliners!" HAH! I restrained myself though. My dad, not so much.

Anyway, after we left, my dad said something to the effect of "If I was doing that job, I would never complain to the customers about how heavy something was." Well, I have done that job, and I can tell you that I have never complained to the customers, or anyone else for that matter, about how heavy something was. I just don't do that. Unless it's actually too heavy for me to physically be able to pick it up, I will pretend that it's not heavy. Even if I feel like I'm going to fall over trying to carry it, I will act like it's no big deal. Apparently, this is not a common trait.

"Two recliners" 

Unnecessary Things

I'm not one for buying lots of unnecessary stuff. I mean, we have people who come into Goodwill multiple times a week and buy carts full of knickknacks. I really don't buy very much shit that I don't need. I spend the majority of my money on food for myself, and food for the animals, and things like hand-soap, conditioner, toothpaste etc. If I do buy clothes, I almost invariably buy them at Goodwill.

All that being said. Every once in a while I find something that I just WANT. Many times it's something that I can't even explain exactly why it is that I want it; something that doesn't seem like something I would like. When this happens, these things tend to be expensive. I mean expensive for me, not expensive for most people, people who are okay with paying retail prices for clothes, let alone for people who buy designer names. I always try to talk myself out of these things. I say "No, you don't need that. Why do you even want it? It's not that great. It's too expensive, you can't afford it." None of these are very effective. The part of my brain that desires random things seems to be completely impervious to logic. It just sticks its fingers in its ears and yells "WANT!"

On a completely unrelated note. There is this jacket......... in Lithuania.....

But I Don't Want to!

Do you ever have days when you just simply do not feel capable of dealing with other humans? Well I do. Yesterday was one of those days. I had a three day weekend, and I had all this shit that I wanted to get done. Well, I didn't do it Saturday because we went to the Palace of Gold; I didn't do it Sunday because I overslept, and then I did my tarot cards, and then I don't really know what happened. The point is, nothing got accomplished. So yesterday I was all prepared to spend the entire day catching up on laundry and dishes and whatever else that needed to be done; and I was okay with this, pleased about it even. Then (duhn! duhn! duhn!) I realized I was out of pig food and spent pretty much the entire rest of the day trying to figure out how I could possibly acquire some without having to leave the house and interact with society. Needless to say, I didn't come up with anything. So I spent a few more hours flipping out about it and then at 7:00 I finally managed to force myself out of the house, looking just lovely too. I was wearing just enough makeup to make me look human and a huge hoodie because "it was cold" but really because I just couldn't handle to idea of putting on a bra. I made it to Tractor Supply about fifteen minutes before they closed and sprinted through the store like a fucking lunatic, because I hate it when people go into stores right at closing. Some days, acting like a person is just too much for me. You know?